Most petty bit of officialdom (bouncers)

Covered End

I too, went to see Editors at Brixton last night. Decent gig from them as usual.

Anyway, on the way in, a bouncer, stopped me for chewing gum, which I removed.

He then asked me if I had any more (I did) but of course said no (as you are obliged to in such circumstances).

He then proceeded to search me for chewing gum. I laughed and said you're kidding, right ?

"You should see the state of the carpet" he said.

Rock 'n roll !

Any more stories ?

JT

What of bouncers being complete tosspots?

Plenty

Covered End

Yes bouncers, but any sort of petty jobsworth.

Karim_myBagheri

when I was about 13 I went to a gig at the Astoria and going there straight from school I still had my school bag with me. inside it there was my uneaten packed lunch. the steward/bouncer on the door told me to throw my sandwiches away or I wouldn't be allowed in.
what I also didn't get was also inside my bag I had scissors and a compass which I was allowed to bring in.

MrOneLung

A lot of bars and clubs have banned chewing gum as far back as 2000 ish

AddickUpNorth

All bouncers have tiny penises and issues with their sexuality. Fact.

AFKABartram

Went to go in a late night bar in the city about 18 years ago, music pumping out, bouncer puts his arm out and says '"sorry son, you need two eyes to get in here" I laugh, and went to walk in and he stopped me again "i just said, you need to two eyes to get in here".

I look at him incredulously, take my glasses off, turn to my mate Rhino behind and tell him the bouncer's a prick and we have to take our glasses off, which he does.

I turn back, give it 'happy now' and went to walk him and he stopped me again "what the f### are you doing, i've told you three times now, you need ties to get in".

Was a while before i went back....

Lincsaddick

^^^ not fork handles then

Addickted

Bung them a score and your in.

Never fails.

MrOneLung

AFKABartram said:

Went to go in a late night bar in the city about 18 years ago, music pumping out, bouncer puts his arm out and says '"sorry son, you need two eyes to get in here" I laugh, and went to walk in and he stopped me again "i just said, you need to two eyes to get in here".

I look at him incredulously, take my glasses off, turn to my mate Rhino behind and tell him the bouncer's a prick and we have to take our glasses off, which he does.

I turn back, give it 'happy now' and went to walk him and he stopped me again "what the f### are you doing, i've told you three times now, you need ties to get in".

Was a while before i went back....

You do have done cracking stories Afka.

bazjonster

Covered End said:

I too, went to see The Editors at Brixton last night. Decent gig from them as usual.

Anyway, on the way in, a bouncer, stopped me for chewing gum, which I removed.

He then asked me if I had any more (I did) but of course said no (as you are obliged to in such circumstances).

He then proceeded to search me for chewing gum. I laughed and said you're kidding, right ?

"You should see the state of the carpet" he said.

Rock 'n roll !

Any more stories ?

You mean 'Editors' as opposed to 'The'.

Covered End

Ok ta. Edited it now :-)

mistrollingin

Do they allow bubble gum?

maybe_baby

Covered End said:

I too, went to see Editors at Brixton last night. Decent gig from them as usual.

Anyway, on the way in, a bouncer, stopped me for chewing gum, which I removed.

He then asked me if I had any more (I did) but of course said no (as you are obliged to in such circumstances).

He then proceeded to search me for chewing gum. I laughed and said you're kidding, right ?

"You should see the state of the carpet" he said.

Rock 'n roll !

Any more stories ?

I've done cleaning and happy to do so but chewing gum on floors and especially carpets is a nightmare (the budget for removing gum from Wood Green shopping area is astronomical) Yes, bouncers can be up themselves but I think this is generally a good rule.

Addickted2TheReds

Not bouncers but after today I had a petty jobsworth fine me 20 quid today on Southeastern trains.

I was running late for my train this morning and the train just arrived to Eden Park station as I got there. I tapped in my Oyster card and realised I didn't have enough money on it and need to top up. I thought no biggie I'll sort it out at the other end.

I go straight to the "customers with Fares to pay" counter and explain my situation to the guy. He was beyond blunt and says you're liable to pay a 20 quid fine for not paying your fare. I said to him I'm quite clearly not fare avoidig otherwise I wouldn't be at this bloody counter willing to pay!

He wasn't having any of it, knobhead!

cafc999

Addickted2TheReds said:

Not bouncers but after today I had a petty jobsworth fine me 20 quid today on Southeastern trains.

I was running late for my train this morning and the train just arrived to Eden Park station as I got there. I tapped in my Oyster card and realised I didn't have enough money on it and need to top up. I thought no biggie I'll sort it out at the other end.

I go straight to the "customers with Fares to pay" counter and explain my situation to the guy. He was beyond blunt and says you're liable to pay a 20 quid fine for not paying your fare. I said to him I'm quite clearly not fare avoidig otherwise I wouldn't be at this bloody counter willing to pay!

He wasn't having any of it, knobhead!

Should have told him too pee off and ask him where it states that you ARE liable for a penalty fare. If you look on there warning notices, it says you MAY be liable for a penalty fare.

thai malaysia addick

I tried to park a car in an underground car park in Thailand a year or two back. A security guard came running up blowing a whistle indicating that I can't park there as I get out of the car. He gesticulates to me that he wants me to park in an equally random bay which is 20 yards away. I went to ignore him and he started to call his pal over so I duly obliged and moved the car as it didn't seem worth making more of a fuss. I never understood the reason - it wasn't as though it was a prime spot or anything.

Off_it

cafc999 said:

Addickted2TheReds said:

Not bouncers but after today I had a petty jobsworth fine me 20 quid today on Southeastern trains.

I was running late for my train this morning and the train just arrived to Eden Park station as I got there. I tapped in my Oyster card and realised I didn't have enough money on it and need to top up. I thought no biggie I'll sort it out at the other end.

I go straight to the "customers with Fares to pay" counter and explain my situation to the guy. He was beyond blunt and says you're liable to pay a 20 quid fine for not paying your fare. I said to him I'm quite clearly not fare avoidig otherwise I wouldn't be at this bloody counter willing to pay!

He wasn't having any of it, knobhead!

Should have told him too pee off and ask him where it states that you ARE liable for a penalty fare. If you look on there warning notices, it says you MAY be liable for a penalty fare.

If you get on a train without a valid ticket then you are asking for a fine - everyone knows that. If you'd got to the station earlier you could've sorted it out, but you didn't.

Fella was just doing his job.

Covered End

So why is there a booth for "customers with fares to pay" if they won't allow you to pay ?

Shouldn't it say "come & pay your fines here."

JohnBoyUK

AFKABartram said:

Went to go in a late night bar in the city about 18 years ago, music pumping out, bouncer puts his arm out and says '"sorry son, you need two eyes to get in here" I laugh, and went to walk in and he stopped me again "i just said, you need to two eyes to get in here".

I look at him incredulously, take my glasses off, turn to my mate Rhino behind and tell him the bouncer's a prick and we have to take our glasses off, which he does.

I turn back, give it 'happy now' and went to walk him and he stopped me again "what the f### are you doing, i've told you three times now, you need ties to get in".

Was a while before i went back....

Oh my, I've known you for how long and I've never heard that story before! That's an AFKA classic

kings hill addick

I used to rent a room to a doorman. You wouldn't believe the crap they put up with. He would have to buy a new shirt every couple of weeks and he used to wear body armour which he said saved him from getting stabbed more than once.

I think that having someone be a bit of a jobs worth is a very small price to pay for the safety of knowing that those that would spoil your night (and quite possibly much more) are removed from the establishment.

Also if people had a track record of dropping chewing gum on my carpet I would not let them bring it into my house.

Sometimes I wonder if people on here go out of their way to find things to complain about!

Off_it

Covered End said:

So why is there a booth for "customers with fares to pay" if they won't allow you to pay ?

You did pay - £20.

Anyway, not everyone has simply ballsed up the timing of their train and is looking to blame someone else. If the ticket office was shut at your station or something like that then you could've just paid the fare. You need to think up some better excuses mate.

cafc999

Off_it said:

Covered End said:

So why is there a booth for "customers with fares to pay" if they won't allow you to pay ?

You did pay - £20.

Anyway, not everyone has simply ballsed up the timing of their train and is looking to blame someone else. If the ticket office was shut at your station or something like that then you could've just paid the fare. You need to think up some better excuses mate.

I got to the station this morning and the ticket office was shut. I then wwnt to the machine which was not working. How can I now pay the fare?

The man wasn't doing his job as he took a £20 fine instead of the fare as thats why he was stationed inside a cubicle saying "for customers with fares to pay"

Off_it

cafc999 said:

Off_it said:

Covered End said:

So why is there a booth for "customers with fares to pay" if they won't allow you to pay ?

You did pay - £20.

Anyway, not everyone has simply ballsed up the timing of their train and is looking to blame someone else. If the ticket office was shut at your station or something like that then you could've just paid the fare. You need to think up some better excuses mate.

I got ti the station this morning and the ticket office was shut. I then wwnt to the machine which was not working. How can I now pay the fare?

You can't. That's what I mean about making sure you've got decent excuses lined up for the men with gold on their hats.

cafc999

But say if he didnt believe me?

The train company has a responsibility to give me a facility to pay

maybe_baby

kings hill addick said:

I used to rent a room to a doorman. You wouldn't believe the crap they put up with. He would have to buy a new shirt every couple of weeks and he used to wear body armour which he said saved him from getting stabbed more than once.

I think that having someone be a bit of a jobs worth is a very small price to pay for the safety of knowing that those that would spoil your night (and quite possibly much more) are removed from the establishment.

Also if people had a track record of dropping chewing gum on my carpet I would not let them bring it into my house.

Sometimes I wonder if people on here go out of their way to find things to complain about!

Much too balanced post...

I_Saw_Semedo_Score

Off_it said:

cafc999 said:

Addickted2TheReds said:

Not bouncers but after today I had a petty jobsworth fine me 20 quid today on Southeastern trains.

I was running late for my train this morning and the train just arrived to Eden Park station as I got there. I tapped in my Oyster card and realised I didn't have enough money on it and need to top up. I thought no biggie I'll sort it out at the other end.

I go straight to the "customers with Fares to pay" counter and explain my situation to the guy. He was beyond blunt and says you're liable to pay a 20 quid fine for not paying your fare. I said to him I'm quite clearly not fare avoidig otherwise I wouldn't be at this bloody counter willing to pay!

He wasn't having any of it, knobhead!

Should have told him too pee off and ask him where it states that you ARE liable for a penalty fare. If you look on there warning notices, it says you MAY be liable for a penalty fare.

If you get on a train without a valid ticket then you are asking for a fine - everyone knows that. If you'd got to the station earlier you could've sorted it out, but you didn't.

Fella was just doing his job.

Disagree. Use a bit of common sense. It's not like the bloke was trying to avoid paying. Train companies are happy to take our money when there are delays or a piss-poor service, but not so keen to be sensible in situations such as this.

J BLOCK

Walked into a bar on Saturday, was laughing with a couple of mates, bouncer came running in after me and said "not tonight pal" when I asked why, I kid you not, with a straight face he said "you were having too much fun"