Boxing Day 2006:
No Boxing Day match for the Addicks, so I decide to ease the tension in the household and give my wife a break by taking my dad out to watch Gillingham Vs Leyton Orient (check the form of James Walker I thought). Son comes along as he wants to witness football outside the premiership...
Pay for the tickets and take our seats amongst the Gillingham fans. Five minutes before KO, my father announces in a loud voice 'What's it like slumming it here compared to The Valley?' Deadly silence around us...I laugh nervously...
Game progresses and father keeps up a running commentary about how good Orient and Walker (one of your players? he asks) are doing.
Walker scores a stunner...dad jumps to feet cheering and clapping...Gillingham fans all stare at him...I laugh nervously (again) and try to make out he is deranged. He refuses to stop clapping....My son and I sink into our seats...
Thankfully Gillingham win and we manage escape with our lives. He is not going again!!!
Dad gets a bollocking from son (me). Mind you, he did this at Alan Smith's last game for Leeds. Parents live in York, so I get tickets and go up. Sit with the CAFC faithful whilst father spends 90 mins eulogising about Smith...nearly get beaten up by own fans...
Anyone else???
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Comments
he caught the ball earlier on this season and i could see him from the upper north holding it aloft like a trophy, that game was on telly too, so glad i moved seats :-)
Some of our fans start charting Arsenal then Terry Henry to the united fans.
Leaburn had been getting constant stick from all around me & it was really starting to get my goat
he then goes & scores a screamer right infront of us
i turn around to see the main protagonists, they looked like the Proclaimers but one was huge
i shouted at the top of my voice
' you can stick that right up your ar5e you fat w@anker '
i turned back to see my Dad with a face like thunder & KB rolling around on the floor in fits of laughter. dad didn't speak to me all the way home :-(
in front of your dad!
if we are widening this up, then twice in the last ten years we have had games stopped when an opposing player was running with the ball down the wing and his false hand fell off, while another time my mate took a corner, complete missed the ball but kicked the flag 20 yards into the penalty spot. Ref had to stop the game for about 3 mins while everyone rolled around.
I'm waiting for Randy Andy's input here :-)
lol thats quality dude ha ha
LOLOL
That is uncanny. I remember playing for my school on the first pitch nearest the top of Blackheath Hill - the ball got cleared and ended up going all the way down the fucker - gawd alone knows where it ended up but a search party was despatched and returned about twenty minutes later empty handed. By christ Blackheath was cold. I remember once playing against a team of African lads - they were an immigrant team, composed mainly of Ghanaians - one of them wore a jumper, gloves and a balaclava - even his teammates took the piss out of him but it was proper cold that day. Would never be allowed to play on the pitch now, it was frozen solid and like running on an ice rink
Surely you mean 'output' ?
some of us knew it was half time ;-)
one of my most embarrassing football moments was at table football. i recieved a table for christmas. it was one of those where the bars that the players are on go right through the table out the other side. by christmas dinner i had mastered it, so after dinner it was me against my dad and uncle at the same time. after going 2-0 down early on i couldn't work out what i was doing wrong. then as the ball rolled towards my goal for the 3rd i saw my uncle moving my keeper. being a competitive person i reasoned with him by shouting "leave my fu**ing goalie alone". as a 5 year old this didn't go down with the christmas spirit intended. i remember the deathly silence from the kitchen (where my mum was washing up). i absolutely shat myself until they could no longer hold their laughter in.
That's the best so far!
The best one I ever heard was from Kevin Nolan, the Mercury football reporter and an old mate of mine, whose kids used to bunk into The Valley on match days in the 70's and 80's by climbing over the outside walls into the old toilets at the back of the Covered End. Well, apparently, Kev's older son, whose name escapes me but who turned out to be a really tasty boxer, clambered over the wall one Saturday and fell onto his arse at the feet of our then manager Andy Nelson who was having a pee. Apparently, Nelson looked at Kev's son almost unable to believe what he was seeing and Kev's son, clambering to his feet quickly spat out, "Looks like you've got your hands full today, Andy!" and buggered off to the safety of the Covered End!!!
Another of Kev's great stories is of him taking his two sons up to Bolton's old Burnden Park for a Saturday game in the 80's on a really cold day when it had been snowing up north. Anyway, they got to the game and always keen to save a quid Kev decided they should bunk into what he knew was the usual away end. So, they somehow get into the ground and onto the old terrace only to find it completely deserted and they were the only ones on the whole terrace!
They were mortified because they were then spotted by about 20,000 Bolton fans who started pointing and laughing at them because everyone else in the ground knew that the away terrace was closed because of ice on the steps and all the away fans had been relocated elsewhere! Busted!!!
Always great for a story was Kev!!!
Even more annoying was the fact that the damn thing wouldn't stop bleeding... so I ended up running to The Valley, spent the first half dabbing the nick with a bit of tissue (nobody noticed, I was at the back at the East Stand then) and got so frustrated with it I ended up getting it seen to by the St John's Ambulance at half-time...
lesson learned: If I have a shave before football, I now do it in good time to allow for any razor mishaps.
Right I can't remember exactly what season it was but the game was Us V Aston Villa and Danny Mills and Stan Collymore (Girlfriend beating days!) were having a bit of handbags right by the tunnel - one of those I'm harder than you moments. We sit at the back of the block above the tunnel, next to the players families.
As normal everyone around us started shouting support fro Danny (as we do!) just as I opened my mouth to shout, it was as if someone hit the mute button for the crowd and out of my mouth came "Just hit him Danny, its not like he'll hit you back he only hits women!" to which Collymore turn round to my direction, at the same time that I went scarlet! Thankfully that's when the noise from the crowd came back - and Collymore got even more stick!
Yep you've probably guessed the next part - Ulrika Johnson was sitting 3 rows in front of us and it was only about a week after hit had hit her in that Paris bar.
Mx
Large was giving Andy Townsend, I think, stick at a reserve game at Welling and told him he was "shit" to which Andy, obviously already preparing for his media career replied "F*** Off fatty"
Sorry Large.