Everyone hates Mondays, FACT. But what's your excuse today?
1) Office Drinks on a Friday.
I'll give a run down of mine - I went out to a leaving do on Friday, the first social I've bothered with. I was pretty nervous at first, yet after a drink or two I became the social butterfly... after 6 or 7? Not so much. During the course of the festivities:
- I c*ck blocked my boss pretty hard, on multiple occasions - as well as "whispering" *ahem* rather loudly "She's lying to you mate, she doesn't have to go anywhere.. She's just lying so she's got a getaway."
- In the course of flirting with all the female members of staff (See point 1), I used legendary lines such as "Hey, we've never spoken - I've noticed you though.. a fair amount. I just want to say though.. I don't stare at you. I find myself looking at you when I think. I don't know about you - but I'm a starer when I think... and you always happen to be in the way of me staring." and "How can you not know my name? It's so memorable - and I'm pretty much a bit of a big deal around here.". (The drink was flowing. See point 4)
- Discussed the most embarrassing sex stories I could remember with a bunch of guys I barely know - vomit, STIs in Vegas, dodgy virginity stories and, my favourite, "The more I went at it, the more I re-found my sobriety. I went from having a go on Pippa Middleton at the begining, to finishing up in the Queen.". (not mine.)
- Got one of the above guys to buy me drinks as "I can't be arsed going downstairs. We're on a roof terrace. Cheers mate"... Should probably pay him back, as that was a dickish move.
Needless to say, I'm not looking forward to confronting everyone here..
2) General work related issues
It's 16:30 on Friday and we have a client handover of a project I've been working on for about 2 weeks. We have no project manager. The requirements weren't gathered correctly (or fully), design assets weren't complete and I was using a framework I'd never used before - against my wishes...
Queue my boss coming back with a list of recommendations and fixes. Including the immortal line of "I suggested this one, Sorry. I don't even know if it's possible though...". Other features included rewriting a file parser that took days to complete, restructuring a database and refactoring a codebase of a few thousand lines. (Note, if you're not techy - I estimate this, realistically - if following best practice, to take 2 or 3 working days.)
When is the deadline? 11am tomorrow. "You can either stay late tonight or come in early on Monday"; 16 hours early? So I've tried to get away from it a bit, but at 1AM I find myself burning the candle. Oh, and ironically he encouraged me to go to the social in the evening... (He wont be doing that again I fear...)
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Just love Mondays
Mondays - repeat!