This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how many takes). Irony is that they received not one complaint. Or is this an urban myth that Ronnie Barker actually did this. Nonetheless, it's funny.
This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion.
Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared.
Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks.
The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping b**** over ollocks, so dropping her slassglipper.
The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slassglipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.
He tried the slassglipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny.
That one is prue quality. The other one I liked was the two of them on the phone next to each other and the two halves of their conversations meshing together to say something completely different!
these 2, plus 4 candles. Ronnie B was a master with word play..........
That one is prue quality. The other one I liked was the two of them on the phone next to each other and the two halves of their conversations meshing together to say something completely different!
these 2, plus 4 candles. Ronnie B was a master with word play..........
I mentioned on the RIP Ronnie thread that Mrs cafcfan is reading Ronnie C's autobiography.
She's just got to a bit explaining the origins of the four candles sketch.
It seems a viewer who ran a hardware store in Hayes wrote in with the idea - it happened to him in real life - as did the garden hoes bit. They used them in the sketch but just to add to the confusion between hoes and hose, included the bit about the letter Os as in Mon Repos and the other stuff.
Comments
This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion.
Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and
shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge,
and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible
huckers; they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had
tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let
Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared.
Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She
turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six
dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks.
The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise,
there would be a cucking falamity.
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when
suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said
Rindercella, and she ran out tripping b**** over ollocks, so dropping
her slassglipper.
The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and
the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg
and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince.
"Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking
brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slassglipper on both the sugly
isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a
knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge
halls and a hig bard on.
He tried the slassglipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking
ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince
lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a
follen swanny.
But I am the worlds biggest M & W fan, so I might be a tad biased?
Fork handles and F.U.N.E.X are both quality, too.
She's just got to a bit explaining the origins of the four candles sketch.
It seems a viewer who ran a hardware store in Hayes wrote in with the idea - it happened to him in real life - as did the garden hoes bit. They used them in the sketch but just to add to the confusion between hoes and hose, included the bit about the letter Os as in Mon Repos and the other stuff.