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'Thank you very much for Alan Pardew,' sang the Charlton fans. It was a soundtrack that packed a fitting emotional punch for this strangely incestuous relegation collision. The ex-West Ham manager inspired his new team to their finest display of the season. Down the touchline, the ex-Charlton boss oversaw an absolute shambles.
West Ham were spineless. Toothless. Gutless. The only thing they had going for them were their fans, whose demonstration of gallows humour, once they had got over the shock of being utterly outstripped, and three goals down at half time, was impressive.
'We want our money back,' they groaned at their lowest ebb. Presumably the millionaire biscuit makers from Iceland who bought into the club before this decline became terminal will share that sentiment. The West Ham faithful were singing for Pardew by the end. Could it be curtains for Curbishley before the season is out? Hard to bet against it.
His team were lamentably lacking in every department. Charlton had the luxury of feeling the opposite after a performance that augurs well for the run-in. They are a team transformed. Buoyed by the return of talismanic striker Darren Bent assisted by bright, goalscoring wing play from Darren Ambrose and Jerome Thomas, anchored by Alexandre Song's ability to break up play in midfield, and protected by another excellent display from Scott Carson, Pardew could not have asked for more.
Charlton, fresh and fired up after a break in Spain, looked everything West Ham weren't in a first half that exposed a shocking gulf between two strugglers: ambitious, confident, committed, and - crucially - together. While Charlton worked extremely hard for one another, West Ham looked like everyone was hoping someone else would take the initiative.
There was a telling vignette with a quarter of an hour into the game when Thomas skipped past Nigel Quashie to kick-start a break. While Thomas surged forwards, Quashie slowed up and made no attempt to track back. The area was clear for Ambrose to join in and have a shot. Quashie's next move was to clutter Ambrose. It gave an early warning of what was to come.
Charlton eased into a deserved lead in the 24th minute with a superbly worked one-touch move that scythed through the visitors' atrocious marking. Top marks for technique, as Thomas chipped the ball for Marcus Bent, whose lobbed cross was perfect for Ambrose to clip into the corner of the net.
In contrast, when West Ham managed to piece together a semblance of a move, left winger Thomas was tracking back deep into his own box with a fierce commitment to clear the decks. Reward came a minute later when Thomas scored a stylish solo goal. The ex-Arsenal academy graduate ran from his own half, jinked past Calum Davenport, and steered an angled drive past Robert Green.
From the West Ham fans in the Jimmy Seed stand: silence. But that soon gave way to fury as their team capitulated again before the half was out. You know you're doomed when Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink is allowed to win possession from a supposed hardman like Paul Konchesky. The Dutchman slipped a weighted pass for Darren Bent to slot home.
A fair number of the West Ham fans had seen enough and began streaming out. 'You're not fit to wear the shirt' was aired, not for the first time during this harrowing season.
In fairness, West Ham did rally sufficiently to force Carson into some action in the second half. He demonstrated his range of goalkeeping skills, palming over Carlos Tevez's free-kick, catching Davenport's glancing header, and spreading himself to block from Marlon Harewood.
To be honest, the figures in claret-and- blue most deserving of praise in the second half were the fans who stuck it out, stood and sang for West Ham until the bitter end.
Charlton tired a little after their extraordinary first-half efforts, but still looked dangerous. Hasselbaink almost treated the home crowd to a classic, only for his vicious curler to thud against a post. The final word went to Thomas, who cracked home his second of a memorable afternoon.
Man of the match: Jerome Thomas
There were so many outstanding contributions, and the attacking adventure Charlton posed through Darren Bent, Darren Ambrose and Thomas was a revelation. The former Arsenal trainee scored two peaches and played a part in one of the others.
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Curbishley caught in a whirlwind
How much lower can this pitiful West Ham side go? And how much more can owner Eggert Magnusson take? The club for whom he paid £108 million were so woeful that hundreds of their fans walked out before half-time, and those who stayed sang: "We want our money back."
Magnusson, slumped in his seat with the expression of a man who should be kept away from sharp instruments, might have felt tempted to join in, having spent the best part of another £20 million in the January transfer window, only to realise that he might as well have thrown the money out of the window.
Even more galling and embarrassing for Magnusson was seeing Alan Pardew, the manager he sacked days after giving him a vote of confidence, quietly purring in the Charlton dugout. That decision could prove to be more significant than the one to reach for his cheque book in the first place.
West Ham manager Alan Curbishley, who received a vote of confidence from Magnusson a few days ago, had it repeated last night. "Alan's future is not in doubt," a club spokesman said. "Obviously everyone is disappointed with today's result, but the chairman remains fully committed to Alan."
In 15 years as Charlton manager, Curbishley could never have suffered a worst humiliation than yesterday's defeat. Looking resigned to relegation, he also did not rule out the sack, saying: "I'm not immune from anything. It wasn't nice hearing our fans chant for Alan Pardew, but we're not in the nicest of businesses. I'm as devastated as the fans, and it has happened too often. The whole 10 weeks at the club have hurt me.
"It's been like a whirlwind. One thing after another. But I've asked the players whether we are going down without a whimper, or whether we are going to put up a fight."
Charlton under Pardew, on the other hand, look like a side with as much spirit, composure and confidence as you could imagine for a side who have spent five months in the Premiership relegation zone. Even Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink was full of running and enthusiasm, a coaching achievement worthy of manager of the season.
In the long run, this victory might only mean that Charlton go down above West Ham and Watford. But with Matt Holland again running midfield, the tireless work of Darren Ambrose and the tackling and energy of on-loan Alexandre Song, who could have been playing for Arsenal in today's Carling Cup final, they have a chance of saving themselves. Pardew said: "You have to produce it when it really matters, and we've given ourselves a fighting chance."
Billed as the mother of all relegation battles, this turned out to be a stroll through a happy Valley for Charlton. Although we had a rendition of Nessun Dorma before kick-off, it was not long before the West Ham defence were dropping off. They stood appealing for offside as Ambrose swept the ball out wide to Marcus Bent before jogging into the middle to volley in.
Charlton were soon celebrating a second goal when Jerome Thomas, who also stroked in a late fourth, finished off a marathon run by squeezing a left-foot shot past Robert Green.
Curbishley was already reduced to scratching his head and making those outstretched arms gestures managers make when they want to distance themselves from the ineptitude of their players. Ineptitude was the only word for Paul Konchesky, who allowed Hasselbaink to dispossess him and play Darren Bent in for a third.
Goal drought? What goal drought? Charlton had not scored for more than 4½ hours, but here they were
celebrating a third within a 17-minute spell. It was a ninth of the season for Darren Bent in his first game since Dec 30. and his eye for goal will be crucial in the months ahead.
West Ham were marginally better in the second half and perversely their fans, who have been booing them for weeks, suddenly decided to express their dying support with a team all but down. Perhaps the players should have taunted them with a chant of "You're not fit to wear the [replica] shirt.
Some also chanted: "There's only one Alan Pardew", who said: "Those fans and I went through some tough times together, and I have a genuine love for the club that will never die."
He demonstrated that by refusing to celebrate any of the goals, though it looks like being a long time before Curbishley has any reason to do so.
Match summary
Man of the match: Darren Ambrose. Started the rout with a fine volley and kept Charlton's attacking flow going throughout with some crisp, intelligent passing.
Moment of the match: Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink's shuddering challenge to win the ball off Paul Konchesky and set up the third goal for Darren Bent. It was the sort of tackle to bring a tear to the eye.
Rating: 7/10
Hammer blow for Curbs
Alan Curbishley admitted beforehand that West Ham had to win if they were to survive in the Premiership, and relegation will certainly be their fate playing like this. The classic “six-pointer” was over as a contest before half-time, with Charlton three goals up, home and hosed, after 41 minutes.
Curbishley left the Valley, where he was manager for 15 years, “devastated” by a result and performance he described as “disastrous”. He emerged from a lengthy dressing-room inquest to reveal that he had asked his players: “Are you going to go down with a whimper or go down fighting?” Realising the implications of the question, he added, very much as an afterthought: “Or are we going to get out of it?” Last night he was given the dreaded “vote of confidence” by a spokesman for West Ham’s Icelandic owner, Eggert Magnusson.
It was billed as a tooth and nail scrap, but only one team were up for it. Charlton played all the football, and must have a good chance of staying up on this impressive evidence. West Ham, in contrast, look like a hopeless case. Spirit, as well as form, has deserted them, and it was a miserable afternoon for Curbishley, who must be wishing he never left Charlton. He denied that, of course, saying: “A lot of people have asked me: ‘If you could go back 10 weeks, what would you do?’ My answer is I wouldn’t change my decision to take the job. West Ham ticked all the boxes for me.”
Not yesterday they didn’t. Over the 90 minutes his expression varied from hangdog to haunted, and to complete a ghastly afternoon he had to listen to the West Ham supporters chanting his predecessor’s name. He said: “That wasn’t nice, but this isn’t a nice business to be in when results are going against you. I can assure the fans I’m as devastated as they are.
Darren Ambrose, Jerome Thomas and Darren Bent rattled in the goals that had the issue settled before the interval, Thomas adding his second after 80 minutes. It was an afternoon to savour for the manager the home crowd saluted in song as “Super Alan Pardew.”
For both teams, it was the biggest match of the season. It was mutually accepted that it was one they had to win if they were to drag themselves out of the relegation mire, presumably by catching Wigan. Strange, then, that only one side should compete. Charlton were relieved to have two England men, Luke Young and Darren Bent, back after seven and 11 games respectively. They were expected to provide a lift, and clearly did so. The first question was answered early. What sort of reception would Curbishley get at the club he served so well for so long? Subdued was the answer. Unfortunately for the beleaguered manager, so were his players. Charlton were quickly into their stride and their superiority had its reward after 24 minutes, when Marcus Bent got to the byline on the left and cut the ball back for the onrushing Ambrose to volley in, sidefooted, from a central position, eight yards out.
Charlton were lifted, West Ham deflated and the second goal came after 34 minutes, when Ben Thatcher picked out Thomas, who drove forward and cut in from the left before shooting smartly across Green and into the far corner.
Two goals down, West Ham had to push forward if they were to repair a desperate situation, and Nigel Quashie tested Scott Carson with a resounding 25-yarder. Their cause became hopeless four minutes before half-time when Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink, on as a substitute, caught the defence square with a through pass from halfway that allowed Darren Bent to break away on his own before beating Green with aplomb with an angled drive from 16 yards.
“We want our money back,” chorused the disgruntled East Enders behind Green’s goal. Curbishley looked on stone-faced, bewilderment personified. He responded to the crisis by sending on an extra striker, Marlon Harewood, in place of Matthew Etherington, who had been anonymous on the left flank, then replacing Carlton Cole with the new recruit from Spain, Kepa Blanco.
Charlton were within inches of scoring a fourth early in the second half, when Hasselbaink shivered an upright from 25 yards, at which juncture something new happened. A match broke out. Tevez, with a strong shot, had Carson stretching to to tip the ball over, and the England reserve was called on to make another save, this time from substitute Harewood. West Ham had come to the party at last — an hour late.
They didn’t stay long. It was 4-0 after 80 minutes, when Thomas volleyed home Ambrose’s left-wing cross from eight yards. It was very nearly five, Zheng Zhi thumping a header against the crossbar in the final minute. West Ham couldn’t have complained it it had been.
Curbishley likened the result to being hit by a whirlwind. He could end up getting blown out.
Star man: Jerome Thomas (Charlton)
Player Ratings: Charlton: Carson 6, Young 6, El Karkouri 7, Diawara 7, Thatcher 6, Ambrose 7, Holland 6, Song Billong 6 (Faye 85min), Thomas 8, M Bent 7 (Hasselbaink 35min, 5), D Bent 7 (Zheng 82min)
West Ham: Green 5, Dailly 5, Ferdinand 5, Davenport 5, Konchesky 6, Benayoun 5, Mullins 6 (Newton 72min), Quashie 6, Etherington 5 (Harewood ht, 5), Tevez 6, Cole 5 (Blanco 59min, 5)
Scorers: Charlton: Ambrose 24, Thomas 34, 80, D Bent 41
Referee: R Styles
Attendance: 27,111