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  • edited May 2012
    Hilarious !

    "Should anyone wish to experience a similar level of pain, I suggest lowering your love spuds into a pan of boiling cillit bang, whilst getting a friend or colleague to roughly insert a pineapple into the suntanned cyclops using a six pound sledgehammer and a good run up."

    "The good lady wife has used the original women's version of this for years and has always had ladies bits smoother than a Teddy Pendergrass album. So when she pointed out that it was looking like Terry Waite's allotment inside my pants I decided to take action."
  • There are some very eloquent people on there.
  • Brilliant. I had to read in installments as I was laughing so much.
  • ‎'Not since Steve McQueen entered the 'Towering Inferno' has a human object burnt so intensely'
  • 54 of 56 people found the following review helpful
    5.0 out of 5 stars with Veet, you need fast feet!, 26 April 2012
    glowing orbs - See all my reviews
    This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)
    Been trimming the old fizz for a while now, always grows back quick, even on a close fly by with the trimmers!
    My mates in the cafe rated it, , the wife rates it, I thought it's got to be good...

    Based on that I bought a tube in my lunch hour, having an easy day, so I thought, I'll pop into the site loos and prep myself, surprise the wife tonight and we could both go bare bouncing together.

    I did the job, pulled up my kit and washed my hands, thought I had time to spare walking over to the onsite showers...

    The onsite showers hadn't been connected yet! This left the water butt way over the other side of the site by the cement mixers...

    The site accident report states: ` for some unknown reason the carpenter stripped stark bullock naked running across site, he fell into the cement footings and broke his leg, before climbing out and sitting in the water butt. Unfortunately the brick layer thought he was about to be attacked by a frenzied grey slime coloured beast and smashed his trowel down flat on top of the carpenters head, knocking him unconscious.
    The ambulance arrived and because of the carpenters pleading treated the scalded clangers first!
    HSE to investigate for unknown harmful toxic substance on site.'

    I only remember feeling that I was running ways from a fire reaching between my legs, I don't remember the fall into cement, I don't remember landing arse first into the water butt, I do remember being lifted out of the water and screaming to be put back in.

    So, use this stuff only in the bathroom, with the bath already run and your wife standing with a watering can as back up.

    My maraca's took five days to settle down, the bleached skin took on the blue dye from the cement retardant in the water butt and my wife won't go down on me, because she says I look like a miniature turkeys neck and can't stop pissing herself laughing until she gets hiccups!

    This stuff does do what it says and a whole lot more!
    6 out of 5
  • I'm literally crying reading this!
  • have to say T.C.E you have really made my day with this. its like reading the viz.
  • i have not laughed so much in a long time if ever reading them reviews :')
  • Very funny but I'm getting a feeling of deja vu here. Hasn't this link been posted a couple of times before?
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  • Got this emailed to me yesterday. Was in absolute bits for over an hour. Brilliant work !
  • Yea defo been posted before rob.

    But had me and work mates in stitches today. Brilliant stuff
  • Hilarious. Who's gonna try it and post back lol
  • ordered and on its way in the mail.
  • Not laughed out loud reading something for quite some time. Just brilliant...
  • Brilliant
  • Very Funny
  • Oh dear...giggling & crying at that TCE. You couldn't make stuff up like that :-)
  • Hasn't this link been posted a couple of times before?

  • Sponsored links:

  • I have not laughed this much in ages had tears running down my face, with the misses and kids looking at me like I was crazy.
  • This product sounds like the dogs #### must get some!
  • I think every variation of terms for 'knob and bollocks' has been used. Most of them I hadn't heard of. Brilliant.
  • As used by sean dyche
  • Ha, is this compatible with Alexa lol
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