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So who does what then?

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  • edited January 2012
    l am an internet forum scout for the truly massive Sheffield Wednesday Football Club.

    My role involves skulking around the fans' forum message boards of the other 91 (vastly smaller and considerably inferior) league clubs to suss out whether they are substantial enough to cope with the possible visit of esteemed posters from such a massive club as the Owls who's great tradition, history and size dwarves the likes of Barcelona, The Catholic Church and Christmas and who's Shakespearian wit should only be unleashed on the deserving.

    Came across CL a few years ago and I liked its quaint charm and support of plucky minnows Charlton Athletic. It appealed to me in the same way the Queen may enjoy a break from her massive palace of splendour in a massive city to spend a weekend in a B&B in Crewe. So I stayed here with the blessing of my employers as their long establishment as a global powerhouse of industry meant they had more than adequate resources to allow me this sabbatical.

    My other duties include monitoring the gravitational pull of Hillsborough on the planets in our solar system as well as tracking the orbit of the Sun around the S6 area of Sheffield. There was some concern recently amongst NASA scientists that there was evidence hinting that recent transfer rumours involving "massive" name players signing for Wednesday would cause the Earth to tilt on its axis and the entire galaxy would be sucked into a black hole emanating from Lepping's Lane.

    For this reason and for the good of all humankind they have massively allayed fears of this massive news with massively respected Chairman Mandaric issuing the following statement at a rapidly assembled press conference at the United Nations headquarters in New York:

    "As leader of this much admired gargantuan football club, behemothic sporting institution and all round global superpower it is important to recognise the burden we carry upon our shoulders. Whilst "Wennndaaay" encapsulates all that is good, heroic and massive about mankind with great power comes great responsibility. Therefore it is with great pleasure I announce that our massive activity in the January transfer window is thus far limited to signing Miguel Llera on a permanent deal.......I expect Reuters to break this news and can already hear the collective sighs of relief from Barnsley to North Korea as the world breathes easy until May. I thank you"
  • edited January 2012
    This was done only a few months back but i am a quantity surveyor or cost consultant as it's now known, in the building industry. Anybody want me to tell you how little you can build something for and then spend the next few years trying to make plausible excuses as to why it's actually cost at least double that, let me know.
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