Oh no. Whats
that??? The dog and bone started ringing and ringing and ringing. I woke from a
deep bo peep and opened me mincers. I grabbed the dog. “Hello, Hello son are
you there”. Said a voice. It was the old pot and pan. “Coming to the match
tonight?
Erm no
Dad sorry I arranged to meet someone”. I
knew straight away I shouldn’t have had those pigs at lunchtime or the ones
last night as a quick butchers at the dickory dock told me I was running a
little late. See you later. Bye. Bye.
After a bit
of lord mayoring at myself. A hurried pony and trap and gypsy’s kiss together
with a rushed Bob Squash and a dig in the grave, I was ready to dress. On went
me best dickie dirt and Peckham Rye tied in a Windsor knot around me Gregory.
Out came me best blue whistle and flute. On with me round the houses. Tied me
rhythm and blues. A quick flick through the Barnet. Spot of poof juice on the
boat race. LUVELLY JUBBLY as me old china Del Boy would say. I promised to take
this bird to a real posh nosh restaurant up in the West
End and I booked the best Cain and Able next to the Tommy Trinder.
Out I
went through the Henry Moore, down the apples and pears and took a lively ball
and chalk along the frog and toad. No need to take the jam jar today I thought
with all those pigs and a gold watch or two sloshing around inside me Newington
Butts. The currant bun was warm so I was glad I didn’t’ bring a weasel and stoat
with me. I took a quick butchers at the bottle of scotch. Great, I had made up
a bit of bird lime. I raced round the Johnny Horner and through the Noahs ark
and got to the toy tank just in time to get some bread and honey which I
stuffed in me sky rocket. Look lively. I rushed into the shop next door and
bought some nice red early hours. Roses I think. I’m really looking forward to
this date or should I say butcher’s hooking. Anyway I tried to imagine what
this girl looked like when I met her in the rub-a-dub the previous evening
although I was well Brahms and Liszt or Oliver twist as some may say. Her Barnet
was blonde she had a lovely boat race, blue mince pies, and a lovely shaped fireman’s
hose and big Bristol’s.
She had long clothes pegs and an hour glass figure. Wow. This was going to be
good !!!
