"Let's pick off the low lying apples" meaning "Let's try and disguise our total incompetance and inefficiencies, by using all of our available time to carry out simple functions that you need a single brain cell to perform, whilst leaving the more complex to those with two"
There are millions. IT in particular is littered with complete twonks at management level who know nothing about the actual technical aspects of the profession, but think they can con people into believing they do by over-compensating with waffle. My absolute pet hate is using the word 'leverage' in the wrong context, the wrong form and the wrong situation.
Let's run it up the flag pole and see who salutes.
"Source" - as in, "It's lunchtime, I'm hungry - I need to source a sandwich"
Chuck it in the frying pan and see if it sizzles.
The "source" one drives me fecking mental, Aussie wankers use it all the time, especially the "foodie" types on TV who say things like "I sourced these beans from a local farmer."
If someone I am speaking to uses this term I always pull them up on it.
Shite... my current position is that of Business Analyst and have spent the past 3 months putting together business plans for the two hotels I work with.
I have helped the general manager with overall Strategy for the forthcoming year and sat down with department heads to Strategise for 2012, setting SMART objectives and subsequent initiatives to meet these objectives. Next stage is to agree on Key Performance Indicators for the individual departments to measure their performance next year and assign a dollar value to incentivise these. I am a firm believer in the whole performance management concept and using the balances score card as a method to acheiving this!!
I leave in December, but have seen the benefit in this position so much that I am planning on presenting to our corporate office in an effort to make it a permanent part time position - not for me I might add, as I'm moving on to pastures new.
We used to have a manager we all liked, but he had a very odd obsession with work cliches - "blue sky thinking/ Barcelona will be our straw man etc." - So we'd give each other a cliche each before our team meeting and have the task of shoehorning it in somehow. One guy managed to say "run it up the ideas flagpole and see who salutes," without the boss thinking it odd.
Comments
"My door is always open"
"people are our biggest asset"
"we word hard and we play hard"
Response: No , but there's a U in F. off.
"Buy in"
"Value add"
"Going forward"
That was Dave Rudd's Countdown motto !
Unless the train is being run by South Eastern which means it won't be going anyway, was the response given to the boss concerned
I bet you will...
Our plan is robust.
Customer Service Manager (meaning; Complaint Deflector)
I also despise 'going forward' being put on the end of every sentence in a meeting
The "source" one drives me fecking mental, Aussie wankers use it all the time, especially the "foodie" types on TV who say things like "I sourced these beans from a local farmer."
If someone I am speaking to uses this term I always pull them up on it.
Shite... my current position is that of Business Analyst and have spent the past 3 months putting together business plans for the two hotels I work with.
I have helped the general manager with overall Strategy for the forthcoming year and sat down with department heads to Strategise for 2012, setting SMART objectives and subsequent initiatives to meet these objectives. Next stage is to agree on Key Performance Indicators for the individual departments to measure their performance next year and assign a dollar value to incentivise these. I am a firm believer in the whole performance management concept and using the balances score card as a method to acheiving this!!
I leave in December, but have seen the benefit in this position so much that I am planning on presenting to our corporate office in an effort to make it a permanent part time position - not for me I might add, as I'm moving on to pastures new.
I guess you guys are talking about me....
)
But there is 5 in individual brilliance
And, of course, the one that football manager's love - we need to give 110%. Expecting your team to give 110% just means 100% failure.
Only mark off buzzwords uttered by others.
Baiting your coworker is allowed.