I've recently been asked to be my mates best man at his wedding in December.
I've accepted but my only problem is the speech. One of my biggest fears is public speaking and all I've heard since being asked to be his best man is horror stories of the best man bricking it when it comes to the speech.
In a way I'm a little lucky because his having 2 best men
Can anyone give me tips/advice or share your experiences of being a best man
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some early practice:
Say each three times without mistakes!
The twenty to two train to Tooting tootled tunefully as it tore through the tunnel.
A blokes back brake block broke.
Irish wristwatch.
I think the best opening line and one which will definely get a laugh is:
'This is the second time today I have got off a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand'
good luck, I have been unlucky enough to go through this twice so now how you feel, my best advice is dont drink until after the speech
Just done it for the first time myself a couple of weeks ago.
I did trawl the internet for a bit for the odd one liner, but you must try at least to make it personal & not offensive, be complimentary about the Bride, Bridesmaids & don't go on too long.
what plaaayer said. maybe double drop as well.
2. Don't use long detailed notes, just have key words and phrases on one sheet of A4 paper. That way your not reading out a script but talking to people.
3. Don't think about talking to lots of people, imagine it's two or three people. Pick out three people in the room, preferably some you know and who you can tell before you are nervous and look from one to the other. They can nod and smile re-assuringly and to everyone else you look like you are making eye contact to the whole room.
4. speak slowly. Even more slowly that slow. people naturally speed up when nervous so deep breath and s p a c e out the w o r d s.
5. Keep smiling, helps you, helps them.
6. Content, only use stuff you are comfortable with. Words you know, jokes you KNOW will go down well. Learn it. Doesn't have to be word for word (See 2) just so you know it.
7. Focus on what is important. It's not your day and really no one is too worried if you do brilliantly or just OK. Make sure you thank all the right people, say how wonderful the couple will be and that's it really. Anything else is padding and showing off.
Good luck
things you're expected to say, such as toasts, thanking the bridesmaids
etc but beyond that just say something short but heartfelt.
Failing that, track down Rowan Atkinson's sketch about wedding speeches and copy that!
I was in same situation as you, except he had 3 'best men'. Absolutely hate public speaking and really suffer from nerves but hopefully these tips will help you out.
My first bit of advice is to make sure you get to do the first speech - get your claim in for that first spot ASAP. Nothing worse sitting there there listening to someone one making everyone laugh, thinking 'how do I follow that'. This also stops someone else from using any of the stories that you may have wanted to use.
2nd - get your speech completed at least 2 weeks before the day. Write it out long hand and just keep practising saying it out aloud, not just in your head. Eventually you will find yourself looking less and less at the written page and will remember large chunks of it without referring to the notes. I ended up only taking a couple of small cue cards, such as Hotel Fire Alarm, The Beautiful Pickpocket of Piccadilly etc. It looks much more natural glancing at the odd cue card rather than standing up and reading from a page.
3rd - have a look at some of the speeches on HITCHED.CO.UK - dont use generic jokes such as - it been a joyful day, even the cake was in tiers - as chances are most people there have heard those jokes. this site gives you some idea of structure of the speech and lets you know who you are meant to reference - i.e. - dont the bridesmaids look lovely etc.
4th - start with a (non offensive) joke - something like: First of all I would like to say how beautiful the Sarah/Megan/daisy etc looks today. You look one in a million. And Dave, you look won in a raffle.
Finally - ltry to enjoy yourself and dont get too drunk. I didnt really enjoy the day until I sat down after my speech, but was really glad that I did get to be part of one of my best mates big day..
I did a best man speech for the first time last year and, like yourself, I was terrified at the prospect, but it went pretty well in the end.
A few points to remember:
- it's a wedding, everyone's in a good mood, will have had a few drinks, it won't take much to get them laughing;
- your audience is on your side, they aren't sitting there willing you to fail;
- get a decent joke in at the beginning, they'll warm to you straight away and as soon as you've got a laugh out of them you'll feel a hundred times more relaxed and confident than you did before.
- it helps a lot if you've got use of a microphone so you don't have to worry about raising your voice for people at the back.
There's plenty of websites with advice and sample jokes, although bare in mind that lots of people have seen these websites already. There's a few jokes that I've heard at 3 or 4 different weddings.
I am in a similar postion, I hate public speaking but am getting married in 18 months time and am dreading the speach. I also have to give my Mum and Sister away in the next 2 years as well.
1. Do use a microphone. I went to a wedding recently where the bride's father refused to use it and no-one could hear a thing (fortunately). If you are facing one side of the room when you speak or if you are looking at your notes then your voice won't carry to the other side.
2. As Henry said - speak slowly - far more so than you would in face to face conversation.
My mate said the speeches are after dinner. I asked him If I could do mine at the party bit. People a bit more tipsy, lights dimmed and I can use a mic
Stag do is likely to be in Cardiff so should pick up a few stories from there
In all seriousness, having done this three times now, just write a small speech, with a few jokes, thank all the right people and take a couple of cue cards with you to make sure you don't forget anyone.
Last wedding I went to the best man brought what looked like the complete works of Shakespeare with him, notes and notes of papers, yet he only spoke for a few brief minutes. At another wedding a nervous mate of mine had a whiteboard with him and cocked up part of the 'act' but it got the biggest laugh and after that he was fine. I would have thought props would add to the confusion.
Use the internet, ask friends all you want. You WILL shit yourself for the entire day and the horrible feeling will only be over once you have finished and people have laughed.
I did my best pals one last August and I was a shaking, jibbering, mess before. The only things that will take the edge off your nerves are nicotine, narcotics and alcohol I'm afraid. In moderation of course ;-)
Im liking the line so far of 'the bride looks one in a million, the groom won in a raffle'
Just see a quality video on you tube of a bloke playin the guitar and singing about his best man.
Been best man 3 times. All for my brother!
It gets easier each time and the stags get better. Use the net and you'll find a couple of appropriate jokes that are relevant to him/them. You can always edit them to fit.
5 minutes is fine, over ten is boring.