My wife and boys have gone to South Africa for 3 weeks leaving me at home...bloody hell the house is quiet! Wondering what the hell to do! Suggestions?
eat a kebab in the front room, without having to open every window in the house for about 4 days.
send yourself a text saying you'll be home from the pub at 9pm and then give yourself a good dressing down when you have the temerity to stay out until 9.10pm
Let an empty used cup enjoy the freedom of being placed on the side for longer than about 45 seconds before it is kidnapped and held hostage by the dishwasher for 3 days.
Turn on the television and discover there is a whole world outside of Corrie, Eastenders, Emmerdale and Hollyoaks (the last one is manageable)
About the only thing above i'm not guilty of is leaving the toilet seat up - i just leave it down. Do yourself a favour, type 'porn hub' into your search engine.
Comments
You kids calling it Johnny, it's Frankie.
Leave wet towels on the bed
Put the forks in the knife compartment in the draw
Leave the seat up
Watch sport 24/7
That should do for a start
Try and find a new cat that looks just like the one you drowned.
Wish you didn't listen to idiot suggestions on Charlton Life!
send yourself a text saying you'll be home from the pub at 9pm and then give yourself a good dressing down when you have the temerity to stay out until 9.10pm
Let an empty used cup enjoy the freedom of being placed on the side for longer than about 45 seconds before it is kidnapped and held hostage by the dishwasher for 3 days.
Turn on the television and discover there is a whole world outside of Corrie, Eastenders, Emmerdale and Hollyoaks (the last one is manageable)
Carter would also probably suggest to try soiling yourself at least once in your life.
My first thoughts!
Fart really loud and belch
Go to the pub and come home 3 days later with whip marks that you have no idea where they came from
Hire a dwarf and keep him for a week as your drinking buddy
things NOT to do when the wife and kids are away! ;-)
With the house to yourself a runwank should be a tantalisingly achievable possibility!
that or move a new Doris in............reason as above.
Do all those little jobs you've been putting off
sort all your old clothes out and give them to charity
Finish all the ironing
And then have a big w**k
Do all those little jobs you've been putting off
sort all your old clothes out and give them to charity
Finish all the ironing[/quote]
I cant wait for your memoirs Henry!!!
I thought he said his wife had gone away not the other way round?