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Best Jokes from Edinburgh Festival..

Comments

  • Bo Burnham:

    “Do you like impressions?” (Cue some general audience agreement.)

    “‘Why?’” (Cue some audience befuddlement.)

    “That was Socrates.”
  • The Tommy Cooper one liners played on an advert on radio recently made me chuckle

    I had a dream about eating a 10lb marshmallow, when I woke up, the pillow had gone!
  • Another Tommy Cooper one.

    I broke my hand and asked the doctor if I would be able to play the piano after it's healed, he said yes, I said that's good as I couldn't before!
  • Absolute Tommy Cooper classic, Defoe!
  • I was in the drinks isle at Tesco , asked the assistant if he could recomend a decent port, he said Dover ,,,,,
  • My mother in law said to me "I hope I get to dance on your grave"

    "So do I" I replied "I'm being buried at sea"
  • Favourite TC joke - Went to the doctor and said I've got a bad leg, what can I do? He said limp.
  • Man walks into a Bar...............Oooowww umpphh , it was an iron bar
    or
    TC to doctor " I keep thinking I am a dog"
    Doctor " jump up on to the couch "
    TC " sory I'm not allowed on there "


    oouch
  • Another Tommy Cooper one.

    He's walking down the street with 2 large sacks of sugar and gets stopped by a police officer.

    PC: What's in those sacks?
    TC: Sugar, one for my tea and one for my coffee.

    The officer then wacks him over the head with his truncheon

    TC: Ouch, what was that for?
    PC: A lump for your coco!
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Roland Out!