I was on the bus to work this morning and i overheard this couple talking about the world cup.
Women: So what country is South Africa in?
Man: South Africa!
Women: Is it in the northern part or the southern part of Africa
Man: Southern Part!
Woman: Ohhhh i see
Unbelievable! She wasn't even a blonde!
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Woman: Is the good-looking one playing for England? I think he's Brazilian.
Man: If he's Brazilian he won't be playing. This is England v USA. Do you mean Rio Ferdinand? I wouldn't say he's good-looking though.
Woman: No not him. The good-looking one
Man: Oh you mean Ronaldo. No he's Portuguese.
Woman: Yes that's him. Is he playing?
American: I really like that Jerry Seinfield, he is so funny
Guy 2: yeah I know
American: What is that really famous show with Jerry Seinfield in?
Guy 2: er Seinfeid?
American: oh yeah that's it
Chairman: Right gentlemen, we're agreed, Iain Dowie is our preferred choice.
Girld on mobile phone talking loudly... "yer im down that pub in charlton, you know the one I mean, the one on the sea front."
Predictable but still funny!!
Bit harsh given that half the stadium were also calling for him to be appointed.
Her: Does David Beckham play for AC Milan now?
Me: Yes Hun, he's on loan from LA Galaxy in their off season.
Her: That's handy for him because he already speaks Spanish doesn't he?
Me: Yeah that'll really help in the Italian city of Milan...
I was in the other half.
Clueless bint, talking to a bloke from another firm: "I support Arsenal".
Bored bloke: "That's nice, another armchair supporter. How did you do in the European Cup this year?"
Clueless bint: "What's the European cup?"
Bored bloke: "Sorry - 'Champions' League'"
Clueless bint: "Yeh, alright, we didn't win it this year, but we've won it before"
Bored bloke: "Actually, you haven't. Ever"
Clueless bint: "I thought we won it a few years ago. Anyway, who do you support then?"
Bored bloke: "Forest"
Clueless bint: "Ha ha ha! Nottingham Forest! How many European cups have they won then?!"
Bored bloke: "Two. Two more than Arsenal"
I LOL'd. Sky didn't invent football love...
when looking at a map of the UK, "oh I thought London was in the middle of the country, aren't all capitals supposed to be in the middle?"
when reading a newspaper article about Prince Harry serving in the forces- "that guy in the pic does not look like he is from Afghanistan"
Classic Leroy!! Bet your excited about the game on Sunday ?
A friend's Mum watching a tv quiz: Name Bobby Charlton's famous brother. Bobby Moore.
Going to be an absolute, utter mess by kick-off - we're starting up town at 11:30, absorbing dagos as the day goes (pardon the pun) on. By the time we get to our final destination at about 5 we'll be about thirty strong, and utterly mummified - then going to have a f***ing enormous meal before the game. I've booked Monday and Tuesday off.
It doesn't feel real, tbh. Got so many shabby memories going back thirty years
Arconada's ricket in 82 (followed by another howler in the Euros a couple of years later) - crying in my nan's shitty little flat after we lost and not really knowing why at that age - only that everyone else was crying. The rest of the tournament was like a bad dream - thank Christ I was too young to really remember it properly.
Collecting all the stickers for Mexico 86 in England and Spain - then watching us hammer Denmark in a tiny little village outside Valencia on a 15" black and white portable before driving all the way up the coast back into Valencia itself to celebrate... then losing on penalties to f***ing Belgium.
Winning the group in Italia 90... then losing in the first knockout stage again - I was in Valencia and Barcelona the whole summer so watched the horror unfold first hand.
That carajo Tasotti poleaxing Luis Enrique (still my favourite player ever) in the USA in 94
Getting cheated out of Euro 96 by a shit linesman (though at least it was England LOL)
Zubizaretta ricket against Nigeria in 98 (I can still hear my mate now - Zubiii NOOOOOOO!!!!).
The absolute euphoria of coming back from 3-2 down in injury time to beat Yugoslavia 4-3 and qualify from the group in Euro 2000... only for the useless Madrileno puta to miss a penalty against the frogs and put us out (again) in the first knockout game.
Being convinced 2002 was the year - only to watch in drunken bafflement (quickly turning to drunken rage) as the cheating Koreans disallowed two perfectly good goals before we froze (again) on penalties...
The utter futility that was the whole of Euro 2004
The wonderful start to 2006 - Puyol's magnificent run to set up the fourth goal against the Ukraine, battering Tunisia, beating Saudi Arabia then Henry diving to win a crucial free-kick and losing against France as a result...
But 2008... and now 2010... ?
The whole team is different now. I can remember listening to the old boys rowing about the team back in the eighties, and could see it myself in the nineties. Arguments between the Castilians, Basques and Catalans. Real players not talking to Barca players. No-one listening to the coach. The media constantly whinging and moaning about something or other. The whole atmosphere has changed around the team in the last four years or so. No infighting - look at the genuine delight for Puyol on Wednesday after he scored - Ramos and Capdevila went potty. The whole team is pulling together - and by God it feels weird to think Spain are probably favourites on Sunday
VAMOS!!!
Back on topic I was lucky enough to overhear a very intelligent conversation some years back whilst smoking a fag outside the imperial war museum:
Young Geordie Squaddie #1: I can believe how many blacks live in London
Young Geordie Squaddie #2: Yeah I know, I can't stand em.
Young Geordie Squaddie #1: I tell you what I agree with what that Baden Powell said about immigrants
Young Geordie Squaddie #2: Who's Baden Powell
Young Geordie Squaddie #1: Some bloke who didn't like immigrants
Young Geordie Squaddie #1 (directed at me) : You got a spare tab man?
Me: No (I walk off with a pretty full pack of bensons in my pocket.....)
Mugs