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  • The England Squad fly into Glasgow Airport today to a heroes welcome
  • Oh dear Another just come through on teh text when i added this one

    Weather forcast
    Make the most of the good weather its due to end within the week theres a shower of shit coming in from South Africa
  • In the jungle, the African jungle, 3 Lions sleep tonight, 'Cause in the morning, the early morning, they have to catch a flight.... no win away, no win away, no win away, no win away . . . . .oo,oo-oo,oo-oo, ha,ha,ha,ha-ha...!
  • I was in Tesco looking for OXO cubes. I saw beef, chicken, lamb, vegetable and England.
    So I said to the assistant "what's the England?" and he replied "it's new out, it's the laughing stock!"


    England are changing their shirts. The 3 lions will be replaced with 3 tampons to repersent the worst fucking period they've ever had.
  • David Blaine was said to be in tears today as his record of doing f**k all in a box for 42 days has been beaten by Wayne Rooney
  • A weather warning for severe flash floods in the North of England has been issued as 5 million scots piss themselves laughing!
  • The Republic Of Ireland have offered Englands beleagured team the opportunity to tour Dublin in an open top bus.

    An Irish spokesman said...'they are probably worried about the reception they will get from the English public but they are guaranteed a heroes welcome here"
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  • Severe Weather Warning...

    Stay indoors tonight and keep all windows closed as there will be a shower of shit flying over England sometime soon.
  • Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Well, according to FIFA, it didn't...
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Roland Out Forever!