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Film's summed up in a few lines

Heard this on the radio before. Have to sum up a film in a few lines that don’t necessarily do it justice or give real insight.
I’ll start ball rolling:


Dirty Dancing. Hotel worker grooms girl whilst doing the tango much to the annoyance of her dad.

Goodfellas… Man grasses his mates when he gets nicked.

Rocky… Man loses a couple of boxing matches then wins one.

Scum….Ray Winstone expresses paternal yearnings as he becomes Daddy to a group of young scallywags.

Pretty Woman….Curb crawler pays brass to be his girlfriend.

Top Gun… A touching insight into repressed homosexuality in the US Air Force

Shawshank Redemption… Financial wiz kid opens accountancy practice and plays hard to get in light- hearted prison comedy caper.

Wizard of Oz….Girl has a dream .

Quadrophenia…. Boy throws scooter off a cliff after rowing with his mum.

La Haine…. Parisian youths walk round the city at night speaking French.
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Comments

  • Best one ever is Family Guy - Brian sitting in a cinema with a blind person explaining The Blair Witch Project as it goes along:

    "Nothing's happening... Nothing's happening... Nothing's happening... Nothing's happening....... Something about a map... Nothing's happening... Nothing's happening...... It's over. A lot of people looked pissed"
  • edited June 2010
    Donkey's years ago, the Daily Mirror had a film critic (Arthur Thirkell, as I recall) who must have had one of the easiest jobs in the world.

    He would have to summarise a film in two words. So, you have to imagine this geezer who watches a film (or doesn't even bother, of course) and then summarises it as 'Tense melodrama' or 'Detective saga'.

    Piece of piss.
  • [cite]Posted By: Leroy Ambrose[/cite]Best one ever is Family Guy - Brian sitting in a cinema with a blind person explaining The Blair Witch Project as it goes along:

    "Nothing's happening... Nothing's happening... Nothing's happening... Nothing's happening....... Something about a map... Nothing's happening... Nothing's happening...... It's over. A lot of people looked pissed"

    Cant get enough of family guy. Stewie and Brian spin off would be inspired. Love it when Stewie ribs Brian about his never- to- be finished book "so writing a novel...eh.."

    The bit when he goes Robert De Niro from Goodfellas "where's my money" is great too.
  • Titanic: Ship sinks....
  • Have you ever watched any of the '*Insert film name here* in 5 seconds' videos on YouTube? Some are hilarious, especially Titanic and Rocky.
  • Bambi...an insight into single parenthood in the animal kingdom

    Lockstock and Two Smoking Barrels.... Danny Dyer tribute by Guy Ritchie

    Snatch....as above with travellers.


    Usual suspects....Kevin Spacey blags his way out of custody by pretenting to have limp
  • [cite]Posted By: ross[/cite]Have you ever watched any of the '*Insert film name here* in 5 seconds' videos on YouTube? Some are hilarious, especially Titanic and Rocky.

    Quality!
  • Sexy Beast - Ghandi gives Ray Winstone a kicking

    Cassablanca - Humphrey Bogarts ex-bird comes back to ask a favour

    Let it Be - Four musicians nearly at the point of killing each other
  • Family Guy - The birds the word
  • [cite]Posted By: RodneyCharltonTrotta[/cite]
    [cite]Posted By: Leroy Ambrose[/cite]Best one ever is Family Guy - Brian sitting in a cinema with a blind person explaining The Blair Witch Project as it goes along:

    "Nothing's happening... Nothing's happening... Nothing's happening... Nothing's happening....... Something about a map... Nothing's happening... Nothing's happening...... It's over. A lot of people looked pissed"

    Cant get enough of family guy. Stewie and Brian spin off would be inspired. Love it when Stewie ribs Brian about his never- to- be finished book "so writing a novel...eh.."

    The bit when he goes Robert De Niro from Goodfellas "where's my money" is great too.

    haha....''You got money for fake moustaches....Where's my money?!''

    Brilliant when Stewie has been on the roids and Brian is trying to get passed him at the top of the stairs ''eh..oh...uh...eh....ahhhhh im just messing wit ya man''
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  • Kevin Smith said, Avatar - Cats fuck in the woods.

    James Bond - English man saves World.
    Braveheart - Mel Gibson rewrites history.
    Robin Hood - Men in tights help people who live in trees.
    Star Wars - In a land far far away a dad tries to kill son before seeing error of his way.
    Jurassic Park - Surprisingly a zoo filled with Dinosaurs doesn't go according to plan.
    Home Alone - Parents leave kid at home, alone.
  • the sixth sense - Kid has imaginary friend
  • Lord of the Rings trilogy : Little bloke chucks ring in volcano
  • Fight Club - Ed Norton punches himself in the face.
    Goal - Crap Mexican gets contract at Newcastle.
    Goal 2 - Crap Mexican gets contract at Real Madrid
    Goal 3 - Mexico play in the World Cup. Crap Mexican nowhere to be seen.
    Terminator - Robot man fucks everyone up.
    Chitty Chitty Bang Bang - Nonce drives flying car.
  • Saw - Creepy man has different ways of killing people in his Warehouse.
    Charlie & the Chocolate Factory - see above.
  • Brian's description of Sex in the City

    "So what's this, 3 hookers and their mum?"
  • edited June 2010
    Shallow Hal...overated fat bloke shags overated fat bird
    Something About Mary....Four men stalk Cameron Diaz. One jizzes in her barnet.
    American Pie....Horny teen bangs tube sock then pastry- based desert.
    Karate Kid......young looking 24 year old consoles Japanese widower who teaches him to beat up school kids
    Scarface.....Al Pacino shouts obscenties before being shot
    Carlito's Way.... as above
    Taxi Driver...Robert De Niro pulls menancing faces and gets violent
    Goodfellas.... Robert De Niro pulls menancing faces and gets violent
    Raging Bull..Robert De Niro pulls menancing faces and gets violent
    Godfather Part Two...Robert De Niro pulls menancing faces and gets violent
    Anaylyse This.......Robert De Niro pulls menancing faces comedy style
    Meet the Parents ...Robert De Niro pulls menancing faces comedy style
    Great Escape ......Steve McQueen throws baseball to pass time in solitary confinement
    Pappillion.... Steve McQueen forgets to bring his baseball
  • The Italian Job......Bank robbers in minis.
  • Telstar... Joe Meek story helps Orange things lose all their Green stuff.
  • edited June 2010
    Pulp Fiction - boxer throws fight - overdoses and bumming ensues.
    Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - fat german gets taken up the chocolate pipe
    Nightmare on Elm Street - kids dream about pederast
    The Invention of Lying - amusing idea is stretched out over 2 hours
    Escape to Victory - how to solve England's goalkeeping crisis? A hammy American shortarse that has never played the game

    EDIT - Pulp fiction should have been Boxer DOESN'T throw fight...
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  • Planet of the Apes- after an entire week of Britain's Got Talent, the whole world gets stupid and the monkeys take over while no one's looking.

    Jaws 1, 2,3,4 - sharks get progressively clever, and start taking it all a bit too personally. But they cannot outwit the humans unlike those clever monkeys.

    Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind - American nutters make models out of mashed potato and feel compelled to meet anorexic aliens with limited musical ability.
  • edited June 2010
    Towering Inferno - Tower Block goes up in flames put water on fire, fire goes out
  • Airplane - pilot lands plane.
  • The Kite Runner...Boy wins kite flying competition in Afghanistan then moves to America to write short stories.
    Forest Gump....Odd bloke that you get on buses rambles on to wary people waiting at bus stop
    Brokeback Mountains....Cowboys get it on
    Passion of the Christ....Man claims to be the Messiah. Government don't believe him.
    Life of Brian.....As above with jokes.
  • Honey I shrunk the Kids......Dad shrinks his kids
    Honey I Blew up the Kids.....Dad blows up his kids
  • Aw - you spoilt the endings of some of those films lol!

    Genuinely, my wife overheard a teenange girl in the queue for Titanic getting angry at her mate for telling her the boat sinks and spoiling the ending for her!
  • A Clockwork Orange - Violent thug is "cured", exploited and returned to "normal" without the aid of mechanical fruit.
  • Batman - man dresses up like a bat
  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDCxv3PH-hQ
  • Girly Film - Bridget Jones Diary
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Roland Out!