Watched a long documentry about dear old Tommy this morning on Gold, just before the motor racing.
Jeez that fella was one funny individual wasn't he but just why was it?
Saw a number of other comedians trying to fathom out and explain just what it was that made him such a comical genius but none of them quite managed it....and that's just the way it should remain...no one really knew.... at times genius cannot really be explained can it.
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Spoon jar, jar spoon.
Cracks me up every time.
Here's my impression of.... Robert Mitchums father.
Hello son!
So Batman came up to me & he hit me over the head with a vase & he wentT'PAU!
I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china in my hand."
You invented Tipp Ex, correct me if I'm wrong.
I'm so lazy I've got a smoke alarm with a snooze button.
I bought some Armageddon cheese today and it said on the packet 'Best BeforeEnd
So I went to buy a watch and the man in the shop said "Analogue."
I replied "No, just a watch."
I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle." The bloke said "Kenwood" I said, "So where is he then?"
So I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?"
The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what starsign it is."
I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herby.
They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.
My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He's bisatchel.
I went to the doctor. I said to him "I'm frightened of lapels."
He said, "You've got cholera."
So I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his
name, it's P something T something R.
I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue and I couldn't put it down.
I phoned the local ramblers club today and this bloke just went on and on.
My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work??
I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."
So I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener.
I said, "You don't need a tin opener to peel a banana."
He said, "No, this is for the custard."
This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper.
He said, "I want you to trace someone for me."
So this lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins.
It was a turtle disaster.
So I told my girlfriend I had just got a job in a bowling alley.
She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, it's a permanent job."
So I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre.
She said, "Are you having me on?"
I said, "Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything."
I phoned the local builders today, I said to them "Can I have a skip outside my house?"
He said, "I'm not stopping you!"
So this cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says "Audi!"
So I fancied a game of darts with my mate.
He said, "Nearest the bull goes first"
He went "Baah" and I went "Moo"
He said "You're closest"
So I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queenon it.
I thought that's Aboriginal.
I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny you couldn't swing a cat in there.
I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of vampires.
I was charged with shoplifting on three counts.
I bought a train ticket and the driver said "Eurostar"
I said "Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin.
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.
He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
So I went to the local video shop and I said, "Can I take out The Elephant Man?"
He said, "He's not your type."
So I said "How about Batman Forever?"
He said, "No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow"
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Good points Soundas, Tony Hancock spent from 1961 until his death trying to work out what made him funny and his comedy funny, it drove him into a creative cul-de-sac from which he never returned and ultimately led to his sad suicide in Australia in 1968. He never needed to work out why he was funny- he just was and that should really have been enough but sadly was not.
Definately not TC
Remember hanging on to watch his act (including the above gag) on telly before setting off to see a mates band down at The old tigers head in Lee Green. We were standing outside chatting afterwards when someone said Tommy Cooper had died. I'd seen him slide down the curtain on stage but assumed it was part of the act. Think I realised then I'd never make it as a paramedic.
excellent