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101 things you never knew about Milton Keynes.

1. Association football club MK Dons are not in fact named after the town that bunged them enough money to come and play there. The true origins of the club's name only became clear during an undercover sting operation by tv's Roger Cook. Forensic accountants discovered that the club is in fact majority owned by Lindisfarne front man and professional Geordie, Mark Knopfler. Sources close to the club declined to comment that Knopfler's well known links to Italian organised crime were largely responsible for the name and that the FA allowed them to join the league only on the discovery of a horses head in David Davies' bed.


  • 2. John Maynard Keynes was actually a KGB sleeper agent. FACT.

    3. The (in)famous concrete cows can actually be "milked" for a concrete like substance. It can only be done once a week and then only by the third son of a third son. CRAZY BUT TRUE!
  • Milton Keynes was a failed Architect and Town Planner who believed in the 'Straight Theory' i.e everything should be er, straight. Taken on as a tea boy at a building site Milton had access to the plans of the site and altered them to make all the roads straight and parallel. The changes weren't spotted until too late and it was decided to let Milton carry on. When it was finished Milton's dream, when viewed from above, looked like a crossword but without the black bits. The town was accidentally named after him when someone in the Council mis-read the plans and took his name instead of the right one. The town is home to Merc-Benz (U.K) and the Open University, so we could have been playing the MB Open University Dons!

    What happened to Milton? Following his success he was commissoned to improve (i.e. 'straighten out') Spagetti Junction: after a couple of days at this he retired to a 'rest' home.
  • 4. Birds fly upside down over Milton Keynes
  • 5. They made of mess of the coachway - probably be years before it moves back to its site next to M1 J14.
  • 6. The inventor of Babestation lived in Bletchley (that is actually true)
  • 7. All of the clocks in the Milton Keynes are constantly set at 4.40 pm.
  • 8. Milton Keynes was the inspiration for Alexei Sayle's fictional town Milton Springsteen.
    9. Whilst most people think that the MK in the MK Dons name comes from their new location, it actually refers the the electrical company MK who secretly bankrolled the club's proposed move to Dublin. The money went mysteriously missing and the company successfully argued in court that they owned the club. You can now buy a complete set of switches and plugs in the club's "superstore".
    10. It is a common fallacy that the fans of Wimbledon were unhappy at the club's move to Milton Keynes. Most were relieved to be leaving smellhurst.
  • 11. Milton Keynes is a beautiful city with a rich footballing tradition

    These things don't have to be true, right?
  • thats 11 things not 101. Milton keynes must be one of the dullest places on this planet with maybe one exception.
  • 666. If you rearrange the letters of Milton Keynes and add a few others, whilst at he same time taking away a few more it spells out - "Oh sup with me you children of Satan", as a result hey have been banned by Radio 1, and several US "bible belt" states.
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  • edited April 2010
    Milton Keynes takes its name from Doctor Milton Peroxide, inventor of bleach. When breast feeding went out of fachion in the mid sixties, Doctor Peroxide siezed on the oppotunity and started to produce a mild bleach that was ideal for the cleansing of baby feeding bottles. However, in the year 2000 when contraception was introduced to the town, the demand for bleach fell alarmingly forcing the Milton Company to repackage their product as a hair lightener. This product was marketed under the name "Blonde & Brassy" and quickly became a favourite with factory girls and single mums.
  • 14. You can drive into Milton Keynes from 7 different roads. However, you can only leave on four of thses and have to pay a toll of £4.39 for the privilidge of doing so.

    !5. Milton Keyens trialled the oyster card system for Ken Livingtone in the 1980's. The trial was named the "Fresian pass".
  • there was a massive dominos pizza factory thing right by the ground, looked amazing.
  • [cite]Posted By: cafcdan18[/cite]there was a massive dominos pizza factory thing right by the ground, looked amazing.

    Was the domino blank - one?
  • [quote][cite]Posted By: cafcdan18[/cite]there was a massive dominos pizza factory thing right by the ground, looked amazing.[/quote]

    was that what it was, i wondered why they needed such a big takeaway
  • Would assume it was not a take away, surely too big.
  • 16. If the Tory's win the next election, they are going to deal with crime and disorder by reintroducing transportation. Criminals will be shipped to Milton Keynes where it is hoped they will become so depressed they either learn the error of their ways or commit suicide.

    Milton Keynes - an instant cure for happiness.
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