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Punishment

YTSYTS
edited March 2010 in General Charlton
I have a bit of a problem, so need the lifers help...

The lad who sits next to me at work is a Millwall fan, and as mouthy as they come, so I'm going to be hearing about this feckin defeat for months. Cheers Parky!

On the plus side I'm his manager so basically he has to do anything that I tell him to! Obviousley the easiest solution would be to let him go, but I'm not sure how I'd get that past HR. With this in mind can anyone suggest suitable punishments for the weeks/months/years ahead to make his life a misery?

Thanks in advance!

Comments

  • Off_itOff_it
    Break his jaw. He wont be able to say much with his mouth wired shut.
  • YTSYTS
    Mmmm...HR issues again!
  • Off_itOff_it
    OK. Have his jaw broken by a "third party".
  • YTSYTS
    Haha...cunning!
  • Fanny FanackapanFanny Fanackapan
    Slip a dose or two of syrup of figs in his morning coffee ...His verbal diarrohea will be supplanted by that of a browner kind and he'll spend much of his day in the Gents..You could then tell HR that he's absent from his desk too often for your liking.
  • Valley_floyd_redValley_floyd_red
    I've got my girlfriends family coming around this afternoon for mothers day meal and they are all (plastic) Millwall fans. I'm just going to have to put with it for a bit I reckon.
  • ChunesChunes
    Whenever he mentions Charlton or Millwall, make him get you a cup of tea. Except when he brings it you asked for coffee.

    Whenever you ask him to do something, finish with: "make sense?". I had a boss who did that to me for a year and it really wound me up.

    Superglue his phone to the handle and ring him.

    Make everyone tell him that an office night-out/party is fancy dress when it isn't.

    Make a complaint against him for sexual harassment.
  • cafcdan18cafcdan18
    Watch some episodes of The Office tonight and imagine he is Gareth and you are Tim, do all you can to wind him up!
  • Fortune Costa FishFortune Costa Fish
    put his stapler in some jelly
  • LedgeLedge
    TAKE IT LIKE A MAN and get on with it
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  • Off_itOff_it
    [cite]Posted By: Ledge[/cite]TAKE IT LIKE A MAN and get on with it

    Blimey, who rattled your cage? It's only a light-hearted thread.
  • GoonerhaterGoonerhater
    edited March 2010
    Im kinder hoping the tosser who gobbed off to me pre the game wants to have another chat at work, makes no differance to me being a contractor if i get the boot , he on the other hand has to think of his pension etc---------------bring it on. Like 99% of Millsmall twats big gob tiny bollox.
  • rooney24rooney24
    ill be doing nothing of that kind yts!!!!

    off it lasts the lat time i buy you a beer! :o)
  • BigRedEvilBigRedEvil
    Bloke I work with has been giving it.

    I so hope we get another chance at them at Wembley in May and we beat them.
  • YTSYTS
    [quote][cite]Posted By: rooney24[/cite]ill be doing nothing of that kind yts!!!!

    off it lasts the lat time i buy you a beer! :o)[/quote]


    Collect your P45 tomorrow...
  • ChoiceChoice
    edited March 2010
    [cite]Posted By: YTS[/cite]I have a bit of a problem, so need the lifers help...

    The lad who sits next to me at work is a Millwall fan, and as mouthy as they come, so I'm going to be hearing about this feckin defeat for months. Cheers Parky!

    On the plus side I'm his manager so basically he has to do anything that I tell him to! Obviousley the easiest solution would be to let him go, but I'm not sure how I'd get that past HR. With this in mind can anyone suggest suitable punishments for the weeks/months/years ahead to make his life a misery?

    Thanks in advance!

    Laxatives (also known as purgatives or aperients) are foods, compounds, or drugs taken to induce bowel movements or to loosen the stool. Dosage: 2 spoonfuls per comment Frequency: As long as it takes
  • paulbaconsarniepaulbaconsarnie
    Have some cards printed up offering rent boy services with his phone number on. then distribute as you deem appropriate.
  • PeteFPeteF
    Just ask if he went to the game, if No ask when he last went to a game the answer is bound to be Wembley in May, then tell him you will only discuss the game with anyone who went, whenever he mentions it jus say "show us your ticket", should do the trick, if he was there, hit him hard or sack him...
  • rooney24rooney24
    pete f - i did infact go to the game and believe it or not was quite humble about the spanking we gave you. you will also be glad to know in keeping up with Stereo types i was at wembley as well.

    YTS - thanks for the p45 see you tomorrow pleading for my job!
  • Off_itOff_it
    [cite]Posted By: rooney24[/cite]ill be doing nothing of that kind yts!!!!

    off it lasts the lat time i buy you a beer! :o)

    LOL. That wasn't a beer - it was Fosters.
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  • bibblebibble
    Test him to see if he is a real spanner....bring in a banjo and see if can play it!!
  • uncleuncle
    I still think break his jaw is the best option....Just imagine that feeling of pure joy when you hear that crack.
  • rooney24rooney24
    i dont like soup so a broken jaw is not the best option anyway he has got lightly ive hardly said a word!
  • Chris_from_SidcupChris_from_Sidcup
    [cite]Posted By: rooney24[/cite]i dont like soup so a broken jaw is not the best option anyway he has got lightly ive hardly said a word!

    Apart from on your Facebook status........
  • rooney24rooney24
    ha ha now that is true!
  • Heath HeroHeath Hero
    Sack him for spending too much time on internet message boards.
  • uncleuncle
    There's only one way to settle this ......FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT ....Now break his jaw
  • uncleuncle
    And its a myth about only being able to have soup. You can blend anything even a sunday roast. So you'll eat well
  • SE9SE9
    In that case its got to be a broken jaw. Rude not to really!
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