I have seen similar, at a gentlemens evening at some football club (the one in new eltham that you have to drive through that petrol station to get to, next to is it homebase or b and q) well anyway one of the old sloshers asked for volenteer, and as it was only really late teens or early 20's some idiot said i will do it! Anyway she put him face down on the floor tied his hands and put a gimp mask on him, then pulled his slacks down, got a big giant saringe looked for some one with a pint, sucked up some beer and then proceeded to pump it into his anus, i was larughing so hard, i nearly fell over! In this same place, someone else got Pizzed on, jumped up straight away going eeerrrrrrr thats mingin, then some older (bout 50) got up and laid where the other birthday boy was laying and she pizzed on him instead! It was well funny!
And i am sure Mr Mortain was in attendance to vouch!
I've just been reviewing the old stag do stories and I'm trying to think what is the worst thing that has happened to a stag?
Ollies one is brilliant with the beer being pumped up arse I still cringe when I think about the Mars bar (and still people say it should pf been frozen, who carries a frozen chocolate bar with them for gawds sake??)
So what is the worst thing to happen to a stag/mate who has been stitched up??
must be my lot, but i've never been on a stag do where the groom has been properly stitched up. I think if you have a good bunch that really get on, there isn't really the need of gimmicks or singling someone out to try and get things going.
I know from my own, i was simply so looking forward to going away on a boys weekend with my mates, that i would of hated to of had it spoiled in my mind by being made to look stupid. I do that enough with no help !
I was dressed as a gay biker... complete with arse cut out my jeans and leather waist coat, cap, handlebar moustache. Not warm in sub zero temperatures!
I went on a joint Stag where everyone grew taches and the pair of them were dressed as Gavin Henson and Charlotte Church. The Gavin henson loved it taking the piss about the otehr Stag dressed as a women untill he relised that everytime he had a forfit he had to have a waxing strip placed on one part of his anatomy... not great stitch ups like the storys of people waking up in various destinations...
I know that with Covid19 restrictions it is currently no longer possible, but perhaps that makes it a good time to update this thread with tales from 2008-2019.
Been on a fair few stag dos and never come across anything like being stripped, tied, stitched up etc. Never really seen the point of it tbh. All ours have been around just going out with a load of mates and getting wankered together.
Went on a joint one in Prague a few years ago (both Charlton) and made one wear a Palace top and the other a dress but not all night.
It was in the loft bar in Canterbury, still called the loft still a weird trending place but last time I was in it was with my wife and another couple and I retold the story renacted the bits I could and I realised about 50% of the way through I used to live a very different life
August/September 1994, 1-2 weeks before I got married. Persuaded the then landlords of the Horse & Groom at the level crossing to throw a gentleman’s night and I would guarantee a crowd and double it up as my stag night, strippers, blue comedian soup in a basket etc. Anyway, started the day at lunchtime on a pub crawl through blackheath/Greenwich with a couple of close pals. One pal lived Halfway between the two on westcombe Hill, and said he had to pop in quickly, now, I knew later that night that I would probably get stitched up where the strippers were concerned, so I surreptitiously asked his then wife if she had any “Ann summers” type lingerie I could borrow, she then graciously hid & left me a red corset, stockings & suspenders in the bathroom, which I put on under my clothes.
I then spent the rest of the day wearing these, around about 10-11 that evening after a cracking night was winding down, the moment came, the strippers grabbed me and then proceeded to strip me on the stage, I played the long game and it worked! Unfortunately, my pals then completely stripped me and handcuffed me naked to the zebra crossing outside on the main road 😁
I booked the 6 a side astro pitch at my local sports centre and had a football match prior to going to a club. I had football shirts made and split into two even teams of 8. It was a great way to get a nice thirst and set up the evening.
August/September 1994, 1-2 weeks before I got married. Persuaded the then landlords of the Horse & Groom at the level crossing to throw a gentleman’s night and I would guarantee a crowd and double it up as my stag night, strippers, blue comedian soup in a basket etc. Anyway, started the day at lunchtime on a pub crawl through blackheath/Greenwich with a couple of close pals. One pal lived Halfway between the two on westcombe Hill, and said he had to pop in quickly, now, I knew later that night that I would probably get stitched up where the strippers were concerned, so I surreptitiously asked his then wife if she had any “Ann summers” type lingerie I could borrow, she then graciously hid & left me a red corset, stockings & suspenders in the bathroom, which I put on under my clothes.
I then spent the rest of the day wearing these, around about 10-11 that evening after a cracking night was winding down, the moment came, the strippers grabbed me and then proceeded to strip me on the stage, I played the long game and it worked! Unfortunately, my pals then completely stripped me and handcuffed me naked to the zebra crossing outside on the main road 😁
I booked the 6 a side astro pitch at my local sports centre and had a football match prior to going to a club. I had football shirts made and split into two even teams of 8. It was a great way to get a nice thirst and set up the evening.
But did anyone get a mars bar hammered up their arse?
Went Caister soul weekend for mine. Couldn't get a caravan on site for 20 of us all so stayed in a hotel in Yarmouth (which was a shithole,but that's a whole other story!) Doctors and nurses theme on the Saturday night. My mates all dressed up as doctors- white coats, stethoscopes,etc and I was the patient - 70's psycoldelic pyjamas ,dressing gown, big glasses and loads of bandages wrapped round my swede. I Looked horrendous. They then strapped me to a wheelchair Tied my arms to the arm rests and off we went through the town. There's a mini roundabout on the seafront and I was left on the middle of it for about 20 minutes while my medical carers f****d off to the pub!
Had a cracking night though and got plenty of attention from the many nurses that were luckily in the venue!
I've just been reviewing the old stag do stories and I'm trying to think what is the worst thing that has happened to a stag?
Ollies one is brilliant with the beer being pumped up arse I still cringe when I think about the Mars bar (and still people say it should pf been frozen, who carries a frozen chocolate bar with them for gawds sake??)
So what is the worst thing to happen to a stag/mate who has been stitched up??
Mick Jagger had a frozen Mars bar on him or that what was claimed. One for us oldies
i have been on several stags, always without fail i end up in a worse state than the stag. People just see me and think lets fuck Bev up, for no reason.
One in Marbs, they use to put ducks in your pint and you had to down it. By midday I had been done about 5 times in the space of 15 minutes, needless to say I ended up throwing up over some random girls on the table behind and got barred from the bar. I can normally handle my alcohol and am rarely sick(no hangovers) probably another reason why people see it as a challenge. The same stag i got dared to rugby tackle someone into the sea who was on the phone to his missus, who wasn't really mates with me in the first place , needless to say that went down well, although i didn't realise the next day as i couldn't recollect it happening.
A butlins one i was 19-20, forgot my dress up outfit so ended up wearing what they were giving the stag a old ladies dress, at least i got alot of attention that night.
vegas 2019 my cousins stag, they told me we were having a night out as smurfs, i went full hog got the smurf onesie (i will try and share a pic later) turned up as we went to get changed, i was in a different hotel so crossing MGM park to go to New York i was getting alot of attention, turned up and all the other fuckers were in their smartwear/ shirts etc. i had been stitched up and they got it on video lol i took it well obviously.
Another we went to Edinburgh, 5am at gatwick for some reason they kept making me drink chilli shots.
The common theme people tend to just get me smashed more than the stag, i must take that target of my back. Countless others or even the same trips where i end up getting stitched constantly, too many to remember.
We did a stag at good old Butlins Bognor Regis a few years ago about 40 of us all football pals.
On the Saturday it was dress up night not very PC but the stag was given a Bin Laden outfit to wear. Before putting it on he had to cover him self in some tanning cream. Not known at the time by us but the guy who got it was given a brand that when applied got darker as time went on. Obviously he put a bit on but was told to put more on by the fella who got it within 2 hours all you could see on his face in dark were his teeth and eyes.
The rest of us were dressed up as soldiers and each time somebody shouted "get down" Bin Laden had to fall to his knees while everybody stood over him with guns pointed to his head and he would be handed a shot.
One of the lads brought a bb gun with him which fired the small pellets and every now and then you would cop one in the back of the neck or arse. This lasted for a while before one of the security copped one and the said weapon was confiscated.
Another fella was dressed like the charge of the light brigade soldiers full gear and had a huge sword in a holder. We all thought it was fake until we went to get into the big club and when the detector went off on him, the security guard nearly shat himself as it was real. Obviously this too was confiscated.
I can remember seeing Bin Laden quite a lot later being sick in a plant pot.
Lots more happenings but i wont go into them on here.
I went on a stag do to Margate for the day - the groom had 10 envelopes to open during the day - one before each pub - had a different challenge in each one - best one was the envelope before we went into a gay bar for a laugh - he had to take all his clothes off, walk in and ask for a ‘long screw against the wall’ cocktail - he did it !!
To be fair the patrons on the establishment saw the funny side, and they were a good bunch - ended up staying in there for a few hours drinking with them and ended up dancing on the tables to cheesy 70’s disco music
Another challenge was to go into a pub and order a drink, but end everything he said to the barman or any other people he spoke to with the words ‘you wanker’ - that ended badly, with one of the people at the bar taking extreme dislike to it, and trying to lay out the groom - cue a big fight in the pub between our stag group and most of the people in the pub
Finished the day off in Bembom Brothers, and the groom threw up on the Mary Rose, and we were escorted out by security because one of our party exposed himself to a group of girls he was trying to chat up
Another fella was dressed like the charge of the light brigade soldiers full gear and had a huge sword in a holder. We all thought it was fake until we went to get into the big club and when the detector went off on him, the security guard nearly shat himself as it was real. Obviously this too was confiscated.
Ha, you don’t say lol
Fug me @Acidlee I’ve struggled to get in places with trainers on and your mob have had guns and swords on a night out!!
My stag do was painful. Got set upon coming out of the last pub by some twats with baseball bats. The arseole with us who probably wound someone up in there got away scot free, however my brother, who was the best man and me got a good hiding. Woolwich registery office the next morning we looked a picture in the photos, the best man looked like a panda just out of hospital and my ears were so bruised i looked like i hadn't washed for six months...every word and movement was agony.
I did have a multi-coloured bruise on my back in the perfect shape of a baseball bat, which was most amusing back at wotk on the Monday, apparently.
Some say that marriage was doomed. I hindsight i say they were right!
I booked the 6 a side astro pitch at my local sports centre and had a football match prior to going to a club. I had football shirts made and split into two even teams of 8. It was a great way to get a nice thirst and set up the evening.
Moving on from all those boring threads about rubber gloves, hand cuffs, baseball bats, swords, guns and Mars bars. You didn't tell us the score?
Comments
And i am sure Mr Mortain was in attendance to vouch!
Ollies one is brilliant with the beer being pumped up arse I still cringe when I think about the Mars bar (and still people say it should pf been frozen, who carries a frozen chocolate bar with them for gawds sake??)
So what is the worst thing to happen to a stag/mate who has been stitched up??
I know from my own, i was simply so looking forward to going away on a boys weekend with my mates, that i would of hated to of had it spoiled in my mind by being made to look stupid. I do that enough with no help !
Brilliant!!!!
I went on a joint Stag where everyone grew taches and the pair of them were dressed as Gavin Henson and Charlotte Church. The Gavin henson loved it taking the piss about the otehr Stag dressed as a women untill he relised that everytime he had a forfit he had to have a waxing strip placed on one part of his anatomy... not great stitch ups like the storys of people waking up in various destinations...
I know that with Covid19 restrictions it is currently no longer possible, but perhaps that makes it a good time to update this thread with tales from 2008-2019.
Persuaded the then landlords of the Horse & Groom at the level crossing to throw a gentleman’s night and I would guarantee a crowd and double it up as my stag night, strippers, blue comedian soup in a basket etc.
Anyway, started the day at lunchtime on a pub crawl through blackheath/Greenwich with a couple of close pals.
One pal lived Halfway between the two on westcombe Hill, and said he had to pop in quickly, now, I knew later that night that I would probably get stitched up where the strippers were concerned, so I surreptitiously asked his then wife if she had any “Ann summers” type lingerie I could borrow, she then graciously hid & left me a red corset, stockings & suspenders in the bathroom, which I put on under my clothes.
around about 10-11 that evening after a cracking night was winding down, the moment came, the strippers grabbed me and then proceeded to strip me on the stage, I played the long game and it worked!
Unfortunately, my pals then completely stripped me and handcuffed me naked to the zebra crossing outside on the main road 😁
Doctors and nurses theme on the Saturday night.
My mates all dressed up as doctors- white coats, stethoscopes,etc and I was the patient - 70's psycoldelic pyjamas ,dressing gown, big glasses and loads of bandages wrapped round my swede.
I Looked horrendous.
They then strapped me to a wheelchair Tied my arms to the arm rests and off we went through the town.
There's a mini roundabout on the seafront and I was left on the middle of it for about 20 minutes while my medical carers f****d off to the pub!
Had a cracking night though and got plenty of attention from the many nurses that were luckily in the venue!
One in Marbs, they use to put ducks in your pint and you had to down it. By midday I had been done about 5 times in the space of 15 minutes, needless to say I ended up throwing up over some random girls on the table behind and got barred from the bar. I can normally handle my alcohol and am rarely sick(no hangovers) probably another reason why people see it as a challenge. The same stag i got dared to rugby tackle someone into the sea who was on the phone to his missus, who wasn't really mates with me in the first place , needless to say that went down well, although i didn't realise the next day as i couldn't recollect it happening.
A butlins one i was 19-20, forgot my dress up outfit so ended up wearing what they were giving the stag a old ladies dress, at least i got alot of attention that night.
vegas 2019 my cousins stag, they told me we were having a night out as smurfs, i went full hog got the smurf onesie (i will try and share a pic later) turned up as we went to get changed, i was in a different hotel so crossing MGM park to go to New York i was getting alot of attention, turned up and all the other fuckers were in their smartwear/ shirts etc. i had been stitched up and they got it on video lol i took it well obviously.
Another we went to Edinburgh, 5am at gatwick for some reason they kept making me drink chilli shots.
The common theme people tend to just get me smashed more than the stag, i must take that target of my back. Countless others or even the same trips where i end up getting stitched constantly, too many to remember.
Spot the idiot..
On the Saturday it was dress up night not very PC but the stag was given a Bin Laden outfit to wear. Before putting it on he had to cover him self in some tanning cream. Not known at the time by us but the guy who got it was given a brand that when applied got darker as time went on. Obviously he put a bit on but was told to put more on by the fella who got it within 2 hours all you could see on his face in dark were his teeth and eyes.
The rest of us were dressed up as soldiers and each time somebody shouted "get down" Bin Laden had to fall to his knees while everybody stood over him with guns pointed to his head and he would be handed a shot.
One of the lads brought a bb gun with him which fired the small pellets and every now and then you would cop one in the back of the neck or arse. This lasted for a while before one of the security copped one and the said weapon was confiscated.
Another fella was dressed like the charge of the light brigade soldiers full gear and had a huge sword in a holder. We all thought it was fake until we went to get into the big club and when the detector went off on him, the security guard nearly shat himself as it was real. Obviously this too was confiscated.
I can remember seeing Bin Laden quite a lot later being sick in a plant pot.
Lots more happenings but i wont go into them on here.
Another challenge was to go into a pub and order a drink, but end everything he said to the barman or any other people he spoke to with the words ‘you wanker’ - that ended badly, with one of the people at the bar taking extreme dislike to it, and trying to lay out the groom - cue a big fight in the pub between our stag group and most of the people in the pub
Finished the day off in Bembom Brothers, and the groom threw up on the Mary Rose, and we were escorted out by security because one of our party exposed himself to a group of girls he was trying to chat up
Halcyon days
How do you stitch a Spurs fan up?
Dress him up as a Rabbi. Wearing a pink tutu.
I have since been known as the Ju-Tu.
That made for some very strange looks at Welling United, Crayford Dogs and every pub in between...
Fug me @Acidlee I’ve struggled to get in places with trainers on and your mob have had guns and swords on a night out!!
Woolwich registery office the next morning we looked a picture in the photos, the best man looked like a panda just out of hospital and my ears were so bruised i looked like i hadn't washed for six months...every word and movement was agony.
I did have a multi-coloured bruise on my back in the perfect shape of a baseball bat, which was most amusing back at wotk on the Monday, apparently.
Some say that marriage was doomed. I hindsight i say they were right!
You didn't tell us the score?