Charlton Life: To take a small snippet of information and develop an eleborate and highly pessimistic theory around it; e.g.:
"I found this bit of flaky skin this morning and convinced myself I had skin cancer, but when I went to the doctors it just turned out to be a bit of stray cornflake I dropped at breakfast. I don't mind telling you I got myself in a right Charlton Life about it."
Waggy-Green: To be undecided about whether to choose the stylish or functional option;e.g.:
"I'm in the market for a new car but can't make my mind up between the Alfa Romeo and the Toyota. I'm in a right Waggy-Green about it."
Most readers should by now have mastered the basics of Charltonish, and will thus be ready to take their language studies onto an advanced level. As a reminder, 'Charltonish' is a linguistic phenomenon which took root initially in South-East London, but which is expected to be replace English as the UK's main language by 2016.
Provided you have mastered the basics (see above link), learning the following advanced words and phrases should enable you to consider yourself fluent:
Murray, verb (muhree); panic attack; eg. "My wife hates flying - whenever there's any sign of turbulence, she’s prone to have a murray."
Lesreed, verb (lezreed); to be promoted unexpectedly; eg. "I’ve only been working at the firm for three months – I didn’t expect to be lesreeded to Chief Executive.”
Darrenbent, adjective (daruhnbent); forced to sell in January; eg. "My grandma bought me an IPod for Christmas but I've already got one - I'm darrenbent to put it on Ebay next week."
Kiely, verb (kahylee): to slice violently; eg. "I kielied my tee shot out-of-bounds at the 8th hole and ended up with a triple-bogey."
Sorondo, adjective (surondo): missing; eg. "Kent Police are becoming increasingly concerned about the whereabouts of a 9-year old girl who has been sorondo for over 48 hours."
Andyreid, adjective (andeereed): not fit for the purpose intended; eg. "Have you got a different screwdriver? This one is andyreid."
Carson, noun (kahrsuhn): something good but probably temporary; eg. “I’m dating this absolute stunner – I’ll enjoy it whilst it lasts ‘cos she’s bound to be a carson.”
Curbishley, verb (kurbishlee): to escape punishment for something partly your fault; eg. “My lawyer reckons that if I give evidence against my accomplices, I might curbishley.” (see also Curbishley, verb: to go on too long)
Perry, verb (peree): to regret getting rid (of someone); eg. “I bumped into my ex-girlfriend last night and she looked great; I think I perry her.”
Marcusbent, adjective (mahrkusbent): overpriced; eg. “I like shopping in French Connection but their clothes are so marcusbent.”
Valleygold, noun (valeegohld): bottomless pit (usually of money); eg. “Subsidies paid to French farmers have rapidly become a valleygold.”
Hughes, adjective (hyooz): inexplicable, unfathomable; eg. “It’s hughes what she sees in him; he’s such an asshole.”
Amdyfaye, adjective (amdeefahy): unable to score; eg. “He’s a good looking fella and funny too – it’s strange that he’s amdyfaye.”
Kinsella, adjective (kinseller): sorely missed; eg. “My grandfather passed away over twenty years ago but he’s still kinsella.” (see also: parker, jensen)
Can't think of any Charlton ones, but as a general footballese. "Rooney" to be inarticulate and hard to comprehend. "I was Iistening to an interview with Paul Lambert and he is truly Rooney".
Leaburn- " despite the greatest efforts a failure to score". I was in the pub last night and I hit on this gorgeous bird but it ended up a real Leaburn.
Clarke (Verb): To stand around looking lost and cold. viz: "I didn't enjoy the party. Everyone was copping off but I just Clarked in the back yard all night.
Flashkiller (adj.) describes a considered and in-depth dicussion between two individuals on the implications of certain actions made by one of them: e.g 'had a right flashkiller with the missus last night 'cos of her and the milkman'. Note: flashkillers have been known to result in violence.
Pardew, verb (pah-duew): to blame anything & everything for one's own failings; eg - "That builder next door had in left a right mess. They called him to complain, but he just pardewed that it was in that state already"
Most readers should by now have mastered the basics of Charltonish, and will thus be ready to take their language studies onto an advanced level. As a reminder, 'Charltonish' is a linguistic phenomenon which took root initially in South-East London, but which is expected to be replace English as the UK's main language by 2016.
Provided you have mastered the basics (see above link), learning the following advanced words and phrases should enable you to consider yourself fluent:
Murray, verb (muhree); panic attack; eg. "My wife hates flying - whenever there's any sign of turbulence, she’s prone to have a murray."
Lesreed, verb (lezreed); to be promoted unexpectedly; eg. "I’ve only been working at the firm for three months – I didn’t expect to be lesreeded to Chief Executive.”
Darrenbent, adjective (daruhnbent); forced to sell in January; eg. "My grandma bought me an IPod for Christmas but I've already got one - I'm darrenbent to put it on Ebay next week."
Kiely, verb (kahylee): to slice violently; eg. "I kielied my tee shot out-of-bounds at the 8th hole and ended up with a triple-bogey."
Sorondo, adjective (surondo): missing; eg. "Kent Police are becoming increasingly concerned about the whereabouts of a 9-year old girl who has been sorondo for over 48 hours."
Andyreid, adjective (andeereed): not fit for the purpose intended; eg. "Have you got a different screwdriver? This one is andyreid."
Carson, noun (kahrsuhn): something good but probably temporary; eg. “I’m dating this absolute stunner – I’ll enjoy it whilst it lasts ‘cos she’s bound to be a carson.”
Curbishley, verb (kurbishlee): to escape punishment for something partly your fault; eg. “My lawyer reckons that if I give evidence against my accomplices, I might curbishley.” (see also Curbishley, verb: to go on too long)
Perry, verb (peree): to regret getting rid (of someone); eg. “I bumped into my ex-girlfriend last night and she looked great; I think I perry her.”
Marcusbent, adjective (mahrkusbent): overpriced; eg. “I like shopping in French Connection but their clothes are so marcusbent.”
Valleygold, noun (valeegohld): bottomless pit (usually of money); eg. “Subsidies paid to French farmers have rapidly become a valleygold.”
Hughes, adjective (hyooz): inexplicable, unfathomable; eg. “It’s hughes what she sees in him; he’s such an asshole.”
Amdyfaye, adjective (amdeefahy): unable to score; eg. “He’s a good looking fella and funny too – it’s strange that he’s amdyfaye.”
Kinsella, adjective (kinseller): sorely missed; eg. “My grandfather passed away over twenty years ago but he’s still kinsella.” (see also: parker, jensen)
Love it, but surely this should be someone else, i.e. Andyreid? Bent was sold in the summer.
Parker: to abandon that which you have spent much time with for purely selfish reasons, only to quickly realise the grass isn't greener and you probably should have stayed put.
Eg. I just read that my ex wife of 30 years has been murdered by the 'real man' she left me for. What a complete an utter Parker.
Chrispowell (adjective) turn a situation around from dreadful to amazing. "We were so hard up we couldn't afford the heating bill, then my Valley Gold number came up. It was a chrispowell day!"
Comments
"I found this bit of flaky skin this morning and convinced myself I had skin cancer, but when I went to the doctors it just turned out to be a bit of stray cornflake I dropped at breakfast. I don't mind telling you I got myself in a right Charlton Life about it."
Waggy-Green: To be undecided about whether to choose the stylish or functional option;e.g.:
"I'm in the market for a new car but can't make my mind up between the Alfa Romeo and the Toyota. I'm in a right Waggy-Green about it."
Most readers should by now have mastered the basics of Charltonish, and will thus be ready to take their language studies onto an advanced level. As a reminder, 'Charltonish' is a linguistic phenomenon which took root initially in South-East London, but which is expected to be replace English as the UK's main language by 2016.
Provided you have mastered the basics (see above link), learning the following advanced words and phrases should enable you to consider yourself fluent:
Murray, verb (muhree); panic attack; eg. "My wife hates flying - whenever there's any sign of turbulence, she’s prone to have a murray."
Lesreed, verb (lezreed); to be promoted unexpectedly; eg. "I’ve only been working at the firm for three months – I didn’t expect to be lesreeded to Chief Executive.”
Darrenbent, adjective (daruhnbent); forced to sell in January; eg. "My grandma bought me an IPod for Christmas but I've already got one - I'm darrenbent to put it on Ebay next week."
Kiely, verb (kahylee): to slice violently; eg. "I kielied my tee shot out-of-bounds at the 8th hole and ended up with a triple-bogey."
Sorondo, adjective (surondo): missing; eg. "Kent Police are becoming increasingly concerned about the whereabouts of a 9-year old girl who has been sorondo for over 48 hours."
Andyreid, adjective (andeereed): not fit for the purpose intended; eg. "Have you got a different screwdriver? This one is andyreid."
Carson, noun (kahrsuhn): something good but probably temporary; eg. “I’m dating this absolute stunner – I’ll enjoy it whilst it lasts ‘cos she’s bound to be a carson.”
Curbishley, verb (kurbishlee): to escape punishment for something partly your fault; eg. “My lawyer reckons that if I give evidence against my accomplices, I might curbishley.” (see also Curbishley, verb: to go on too long)
Perry, verb (peree): to regret getting rid (of someone); eg. “I bumped into my ex-girlfriend last night and she looked great; I think I perry her.”
Marcusbent, adjective (mahrkusbent): overpriced; eg. “I like shopping in French Connection but their clothes are so marcusbent.”
Valleygold, noun (valeegohld): bottomless pit (usually of money); eg. “Subsidies paid to French farmers have rapidly become a valleygold.”
Hughes, adjective (hyooz): inexplicable, unfathomable; eg. “It’s hughes what she sees in him; he’s such an asshole.”
Amdyfaye, adjective (amdeefahy): unable to score; eg. “He’s a good looking fella and funny too – it’s strange that he’s amdyfaye.”
Kinsella, adjective (kinseller): sorely missed; eg. “My grandfather passed away over twenty years ago but he’s still kinsella.” (see also: parker, jensen)
"Rooney" to be inarticulate and hard to comprehend.
"I was Iistening to an interview with Paul Lambert and he is truly Rooney".
I was in the pub last night and I hit on this gorgeous bird but it ended up a real Leaburn.
e.g. "we are never going to find that missing pedalo without a Bryanhughes"
Fiverpunter (noun) - to turn up irregularly and act like you own the place
e.g. " I usually put my flask and cardy on those 3 seats, but some fiverpunters have sat there"
e.g. "I cant understand why Darren from the warehouse still has a job"
"Nah mate, he might not seem it but hes Jackson"
Note: flashkillers have been known to result in violence.
"Ah, i got in from work and found my husband had done all the ironing and prep'd the dinner. Its the Solly's that count"
1) "Ah, i got in from work and found my husband had done all the ironing and prep'd the dinner. Its the Solly's that count"
2) "Stop getting your Solly out in public AFKA"
Treacy (noun) Rocket in top corner
It's long cross which is Teesed and finished with a Treacy.
Eg. That car's been going strong for years but since we've moved down to Plymouth it's completed Dohertyed. We haven't had it out of the garage.
Eg. I just read that my ex wife of 30 years has been murdered by the 'real man' she left me for. What a complete an utter Parker.