Mine: We have a quaint old house, but it seriously needs a new roof. Trouble is we can't afford to get it done properly. We've tried rearranging the tiles in all sorts of ways, but its still leaking water and ruining the whole house.
CFGS: It is a bit like a failing marriage, you get the odd brightspot, but generally it is fucking depressing but you do not want to be the one to give up on it.
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Or get a bike ......
We're in a tale spin, Deon Burton's nicked the last parachute, flashing a smile to camera as he leaps out the exit door, while Phil Parkinson has got his foot planted on the dashboard battling to pull back on the stick and level out the damaged aircraft. There could be a dark sea or a jagged cliff face involved somewhere too.
Perhaps Charlton should scrap the Red Red Robin and play the sound of a plummeting Spitfire as the players run out - might drown out the boos!
Painful to see and largely unsuccessful
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
When I was a lad
And old shep was a pup
Over hills and meadows wed stray
Just a boy and his dog
We were both full of fun
We grew up together that way
I remember the time at the old swimmin hold
When I would have drowned beyond doubt
But old shep was right there
To the rescue he came
He jumped in and then pulled me out
As the years fast did roll
Old shep he grew old
His eyes were fast growing dim
And one day the doctor looked at me and said
I can do no more for him jim
With hands that were trembling
I picked up my gun
And aimed it at sheps faithful head
I just couldnt do it
I wanted to run
I wish they would shoot me instead
He came to my side
And looked up at me
And laid his old head on my knee
I had struck the best friend that a man ever had
I cried so I scarcely could see
Old shep he has gone
Where the good doggies go
And no more with old shep will I roam
But if dogs have a heaven
Theres one thing I know
Old shep has a wonderful home
Charlton Athletic is like a member of my family and we are all feeling the pain.
....can't remember the outcome, but hopefully a tow-truck would've come along to pull him to safety.
Used to be half reasonable!!
Then started to think I was still half reasonable!!!
Then stopped thinking I was half reasonable!!!!
Now I'm very poor at football,
I know I'm very poor at football.
But It was me wearing the shirt, I am to blame.
(And then I knew when I wasn't good enough when I'm a substitute for a internet side, still I could blame the manager ;-)
C'mon you Addicks
Then they tried four new managers in quck succession - John Major, who had held lots of jobs but had not really made much mark in any of them ; William Hague, who was a decent enough man but patently out of his depth ; Iain Duncan Smith, who talked the talk and walked the walk but ultimately was a disaster who didn't have a clue; and finally Michael Howard , who was appointed as pretty much a caretaker after his three predecessors had all failed. The faithful then all began to wish Thatcher would return, but that just wasn't a realistic option because she had moved on and you just can't turn the clock back.
Charlton in 2008 are stuck where the Tories were in 2005.
But the story does get better, believe me. They then found David Cameron, who took them to a ten point lead. And although that lead has since been cut back a bit, Team Tory is still well-placed for promotion, certainly in contention for a play-off place.
The question is : where is our David Cameron? You dont have to like him (and personally I don't). But a good manager learns from the team that is winning, steals both their kit and their tactics and by doing so, eventually catches them up and overtakes them...
Still we're out now, I'll have a fag and launch the tennis ball off for the dog to chase, he used to be a lot quicker than that.
That poxy dog has lost the tennis ball now he hasn't got anything to chase, whats gonna keep him excited now until its the end of walkies. Need another distraction.
He's bloody biting me now at the end of walks, I just don't wanna take the little basket out any more at the end of a day if he's gonna be like this.
I'm still taking you out I say to the dog else he'll shit on the floor and drive mum up the wall then there'll be rows galore and the poor little shit will get used to not going out.
Oh joy he's found excitement, his eyes ain't what they used to be and he thinks chasing children is more fun than balls. I bet he's wanted to knock one of those lads over for years but been contented chasing the tennis ball, oh great the boys hurt himself on the dogs mouth. That wasn't as much fun as we thought it would be was it dog? No just for the sake of some exctitement you had to chase something because you were bored and wanted a change.
Now we can't go up that field anymore and the dogs getting slower, he don't wanna go out now. We never got his balls done, always such a sensible well behaved dog, great for families. Then time for doggy rape and he can't be controlled anymore to not be let off his lead, it'll do too much long term damage to someones pet. Then he's f*cked, only limps, his legs have gone and it's time for a trip to the vets to have a kip. It was great while it lasted dog, but these things can't last forever nothing happens the same way twice and all that.
We had to put the dog down to move on but it's tought thinking of the old days and how things have changed now, the house ain't so noisy and theres lots less life about the place. Still might get a new pup, heard theres a new litter of pups in need of a run. Then although he might take a while to grow and be strong we can have just as much of a crack chasing things and going where we ain't meant to go. Not just yet though.
Crap analogy I know but the closest thing I could loosely put to our situation at the moment ;-)
Only things didn't get better, they got far, far worse as Reams picked fights with anyone who disagreed with him & told endless stories about when his dad was Assistant Manager to Lennie.
Then it dissapeared.
... Good times.