CHARLTON SUFFER LATE BRUM RUSH
Having competently kept the home side at bay for 86 minutes, Charlton crumbled in the final minutes of the game, conceding 6 goals and 17 corners. Addicks manager blamed the late goalfest on his decision to substitute Lloyd Sam in the 85th minute, causing mass disruption to his 'best team'.
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A resurgent Birmingham City side totally destroyed a lacklustre Charlton outfit and got their promotion push back on the rails again after a few dodgy results.Charlton were second best in every department as the Midlanders ran out 5-0 winners.This puts even more pressure on Addicks manager Alan Pardew as they begin the run up to xmas,many Addicks fans will have a new manager on their christmas list
Having scored a consolation goal to make it 6-1 in the 93rd minute after 3 minutes of good play from the Addicks, Alan Pardew announced his belief that his team have turned the corner and their season begins now. The Addicks were trailing 3 - 0 before the first half whistle blew courtesy of a Marcus Bent hat-trick. Things only got worse in the second as they conceeded 3 more via set-pieces. But the Addicks rallied together for the final few moments and as the ball bounced around the Brum penalty area, Luke Varney (playing on crutches) managed to stick his knee in and score with Charlton's first shot of the match.
"The last few minutes showed what we are capable of. We need to be more like that. For a lot longer. Oh and a big shout out to Luke Varney. Represent homeboy."
Birmingham City (0) 1
Bent 90
Charlton A (1) 2
Bailey 19
Gray (pen) 57
Under pressure Blues Boss Alex McLeish was left feeling off colour when Addicks Striker Andy Gray slotted home a 94th minute penalty to seal the three points for Alan Pardew's rampant Reds.
Pardew said "It's taken a while for the team to gel but now we are flying. I've always known that this was my best side and that you can't play your way out of this division so I'm not concerned with the 8 yellow cards."
Despite Pardew claiming to have changed "the whole she bang" his team turned out another crap performance as a vengeful Marcus Bent bagged a brace and created the other for Kevin Phillips
Pardew justified making 10 changes to his starting line up as he felt we needed to freshen up - with only Kelly Youga keeping his place.
Pardew also paid tribute to his long lost son Luke Varney who ran around like a headless chicken and threatened nothing
Charlton striker Chris Dickson was the addicks hero as he pounced in the 94th minute as Charlton came away with the three points after a hard fought win.
Charlton manager Alan Pardew edged closer to the exit door following a brace from Kevin Phillips
Finally after almost two years in charge of the Addicks Alan Pardew decided to play his best team, with winning results. Goals from Nicky Bailey and a superbly taken goal by Luke Varney who rounded the keeper not once, not twice but THREE times before cooly sliding the ball into the back of the net.
Mr Pardew was in formed that he was Pard it as the Charlton Board weilded the axe swiftly downwards,
After watching Charlton start brightly but fail to capitalise on early pressure, The Charlton chairman interuppted the press confrence where Mr Pardew was announcing that this was his best team yet they were not good enough to stop Brum scoring from all 17 corners that they had won. He announced that this was it he had heard enough bollox and that it was time for Mr Pardew to step aside, He announced that a 3 teir Managment structure was going to be in place with Big Sam, Billy Davies and Gus Poyet taking control of the team. He leant across whispered in Mr Pardews ear and swiftly left.
Mr pardew was swiftly removed by Birmingham Trading Standards and placed in the rear of the waiting police van
But unfortnatly it will have to wait another week as Brum battered hapless Charlton.
Under Pressure Pardew caimed while stroking Luke Varneys head
"We're due a win, i keep playing my best team it's bound to happen soon, i've got a few loans coming in... one from barclays, one from HSBC of which we'll clone Luke so we can have 11 main men in the side" at which point Varney rolled over and Pardew rubbed his tummy.
Charlton fans were jumping for joy as their team stole 3 vital points at ST Andrews on Saturday. Charlton were under the cosh for most of the game and rarely threatened the Blue's goal with Andy Gray looking isolated up front.
However, it was sub Jose Semedo who won the 3 points for the Addicks hitting a 20 yard screamer in off the bar.
Pardew said "i broght on Jose to sure things up a bit. Now he has a good chance of starting for us next week - up front. We got lucky today, but like my best mate Kelly Youga says - this game is all about luck".
Marcus 'My name is Marcus' Bent, scored a sensational hat-trick against his old club Charlton giving the Blues a 3-0 victory.
Upon the hat-trick goal, which was Bent's third goal off his backside, Alan Pardoo tendered his resignation saying 'If that hopeless berk can score a hat-trick then so can I', whereupon Pardoo then re-joined his boyhood heroes West Ham Utd.
'I have family who still live in Plaistow, so they'll be delighted' Pardoo said
Luke Varney, Pardoo's 'Main Man', missed eleven one on ones but Pardoo still stood firmly behind his boy saying
'When Luke gets one he'll get three. It's just the one he has a problem with'
Man of The Match: Kelly Youga (Stuart Pearce-like dominating performance)
Crowd: 19,506
Away Fans: 500 manic depressive plus OoohAah with his terrace tranny
A thrilling end to end 4-5 win for struggling Charlton Athletic left manager Alan Pardew purring with delight, while his Scottish counterpart was left reeling after poor refereeing decisions.
Mike Riley elected to award 4 penalties to the visting londoners with Linvoy Primus heading in a late winner. After creating a total of 0 chances and 0 shots on target in the first 75 minutes Mr Riley felt sorry for the boys in red and gave a dubious spot kick when striker Luke Varney tripped over his own boot laces. Mr Riley also pointed to the spot on 3 more occasions the reasons are still as clear as mud although it was claimed Liam Ridgewell "looked at him funny".
Ol' Big Eck discarded everything he'd learned at this weeks RESPECT meeting for the referees and was clearly heard telling the man in black "I've cut people for less than that ya spawny fecker" whilst bursting a blood vessel on his forehead.
Birmingham had gone 4-0 up with braces for Kevin Phillips and Marcus Bent.
In a shock move an urgent UN security council meeting led to the deployment of 300 peacekeepers at Birmingham City's ground yesterday. A group of disgruntled Brum fans were threatening to lynch boss Alex McLeish with a dog lead following their shock 7-1 defeat to lowly Charlton Athletic.
UN Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon said last night that the move was 'unavoidable' and he hoped the the three hundred blue helmeted troops will ease tensions in the city and lead to an immediate ceasefire. He brushed off reports that fans had broken into the boardroom at city and were defending themselves with a job lot of rampant rabbits that the clubs owners were storing there as part of some obscure (allegedly) VAT fraud.
Not even the sight of Noddy Holder out of Slade streaking across St.Andrews at half-time to promote the re-release of ‘Merry Christmas Everybody’ nor the Children in Need sponsored mud wrestle between Karren Brady and Anne Widdecombe could distract dead-eye diddyman Kevin Phillips from scoring a brace against woeful Charlton Athletic yesterday.
The Blues ran out comfortable 4-0 winners although Alan Pardew, the Addicks’ suave if beleagured boss, described the loss as ‘another step in the right direction’ after last week’s draw at Plymouth Argyle.
Speaking at the post-match press conference Pardew said, ‘The lads gave me everything today and it would be inappropriate for me to say I am going to spend all weekend on the phone to Phil Brown and Tony Pulis desperately begging them to loan me some of their squad players. We need big, physical players and experienced boys with a bit of cleverness now - and the likes of Amady Faye and Bryan Hughes tick all those boxes.’
David Gold gives Pards a Blues movie
Alan Pardew, Charlton Athletic’s under pressure manager, has revealed that Birmingham City co-owner David Gold has offered to help him turn his team’s fortunes around.
Speaking to the assembled media after his side’s crushing 5-1 defeat, Pardew suggested Gold has provided him with a DVD highlights package featuring some of City’s best moments this season.
‘David and I know each other pretty well what with him being a life-long Hammer and me a former West Ham manager of course. Just now in the boardroom, David asked me if I was interested in an entertaining DVD which I might find quite revealing.
‘I’m not too proud to ask for help from a friend and David has assured me that it features a lot of frantic action and when I asked if there was plenty of coverage in and around the box, he just smiled knowingly.
‘I think the DVD only features the first team as he said it contains adult scenes and when I asked if he had any additional tape of the under 18s in action he said quite firmly he wasn’t into that sort of thing. So I guess they only film the main eleven.
‘I’m sure the DVD will really help squad morale and I’m intending to get some pizzas in with the lads and we’ll watch the film together tonight in the hotel.
‘The compilation possibly features some pre-season games as David said some of the action is Dutch, while a few classic matches from the 70s are included as David also commented that a lot of the blokes in the thick of the action have moustaches.
‘David is a sensitive chap as he handed the DVD over to me in a brown paper bag. I guess he didn’t want to draw attention to the fact he was helping a rival team.
‘If the DVD can help harden us up as a team then it’ll have been well worth watching.’
Another defeat for Charlton, but Alan Pardew remained defiant he would not walk away. The anti-Pardew chanting from the away section was at times so hostile, a 74-year old travelling fan's throat exploded with anger. He was later arrested for breach of peace.
Karen Brady, CEO of Birmingham, will have been delighted by the way her boys dominated a lacklustre Charlton team yesterday at St Andrews.
Former Addick Marcus Bent scored the first and veteran Kevin Phillips the second as Brum cruised to an easy victory.
The Charlton midfield spearheaded by Nicky Bailey huffed and puffed gamely but in truth only created two real chances all match both of which were put wide by Izale Mcleod.
Alan Pardew said after the match "when I was at West Ham we always found it hard to get a result at St Andrews. We have to regroup and come back strong for our next match against Sheffield United at The Valley. I need to get some loans in."
Sadly, I can't get the image of Anne Widdecombe covered in chocolate sauce and wearing only a thong out of my mind. My own fault.
Thanks for the kind words 'T' by the way - I liked your Luke Varney pooch image very much. Don't think you are far out...
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