Haringey council has blocked Tottenham's plans to build a new ground on
Northumberland Park. A town hall source said: "We don't mind having a
funfair there once a year, but a circus every fortnight is a bit
much."
There was controversy in a recent scrabble tour
nament when a contestant believed he had won after having enough letters to spell 'Tottenham
Hotspur Football Club', only to find out found out it was only worth two points.
After leaving San Siro, Jose Mourinho was asked if he was going to help
Spurs get out of their slump. He turned around and said, "No way, I
ain't that special".
A young boy goes to social services and tells them he has nowhere to
live.
"What about your parents?" asks the social worker. "No, they beat me,"
says the boy. "What about your grandparents?" says the social worker.
"No,
they beat me even harder!" says the boy. "Well ... where do you want to
stay then?" replies the social worker. "Tottenham," says the boy. "They
don't beat anyone.
Juande Ramos, shortly after another training session, comments to the
head groundsman at White Hart Lane how impressive the pitch is looking. "It
ought to," replies the groundsman. "We put 70 million quid's worth of
manure on it every week."
When a groggy Vedran Corluka regained consciousness in the ambulance
leaving the Britannia Stadium on Sunday he asked medical staff who he
was.
On being told he played football for Tottenham Hotspur he lapsed into a coma.
Tesco are releasing new Oxo cubes in Spurs colours. Customers are told
to look out for laughing stocks.
Apparently the entire Tottenham squad have been busy honing their
skills playing the computer game Championship Manager. Sadly it seems Juande
misunderstood and thinks they want to play for a Championship manager.
A man was found dead floating in the Thames, wearing a blond wig, full
make-up, bra, knickers, suspenders and a Spurs shirt. Before informing
the next of kin the police removed the Spurs shirt to save the family
embarrassment.
Juande Ramos was clocked doing 169mph on the M1 coming back from Stoke?
Apparently he was just so desperate for three points.
A man is sitting in a pub with his jack russell dog one Sunday
afternoon.
The football results are coming up on the television in the corner:
"Stoke City 2 , Tottenham Hotspur 1," reads the announcer. Suddenly the jack
russell jumps up and shouts out, "Oh, no, not again." The shocked
landlord says, "That's amazing. Why did he say that when i
t was announced that Tottenham lost?" "Because he's a Spurs supporter," the dog's owner
replies. The landlord then asks what the dog says when Tottenham win a
match, to which the man replies, "I don't know. I've only had him six
months."
The teacher sets the topic of the day to her class "What does your dad
do for a living?".
The usual answers come back, policeman, doctor, fireman, plumber, etc
... but then it's little Johnny's turn.
He stands up and says " My dad is a podium dancer in a gay bar and
sometimes for extra money he has sex with the punters."
The teacher is shocked and takes him to one side. Concerned she says
"Johnny, is that true ?"
Johnny replies " No Miss it's b*llocks he plays for Spurs but I'm too
embarrassed to say that."
There are train delays in north London today due to a points failure in the Tottenham area.
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Comments
A Triangle has 3 points.