From the manager's post-match quotes below taken from different games and deliberately not presented in chronological order, try and identify which performances he was talking about.
On second thoughts, don't bother as they're all virtually interchangeable. Simply vote instead for your funniest line.
My vote probably goes to "It was their two goals that were the problem", although the one explaning that we kept giving the ball away because we were "too determined" is pretty good, too...
a) "From where I'm sitting I am disappointed we haven't got something, so that just shows you how tight it was…the results today show this division is going to be wide open and with a home game to come next week I'm hoping a win will put us in the top six.”
b) "If we had got the first goal it would have been different,.. We went away from our game plan, and that was disappointing in terms of what we were trying to achieve… Now we really need to start looking after ourselves in terms of making sure get a run together or else we will find ourselves in trouble."
c) "I'm beginning to wonder if a good consistency and level of performance is ever going to come from some of the members of the side."
d) ''A little bit more composure on the break would have been a real problem for them. But there looked like only one winner when they got their equaliser so it was a disappointing end …it was a game that got away from us. .. It's important that when we concede goals at any time we react better - otherwise we'll lose more games than we'll win."
e) "We know we need to bounce back ... But we don't feel we played that badly today… breaks didn't go our way and fortune didn't favour us, and the referee's decisions were tough on us. That's the Championship for you."
f) "I didn't think we started the game particularly well but we were getting back into the game …In the second half I really felt we had a go. .. I'm very disappointed to have lost that game. I thought we were too direct. We could have got an extra pass in. But I thought we were the stronger side."
g) "I've always reacted to pressure in the same way, though, and that's to be bold. If you start letting fear or other people affect your judgement, then you are in trouble. People talk about pressure on managers, but it's never about the manager, it's always about the players who have to go on the pitch and deliver."
h) "I thought we started well but the goal really affected us… we made loads of chances - not many clear-cut I might add - and I hoped we could have taken one. I honestly felt if we'd got the first goal we would have been all right. I felt that was crucial.''
i) "There are a few players who have to take a good look at themselves. A few were way below par…I was scratching my head at times … this division is all about delivering week in, week out. Unfortunately we were second best in a lot of areas.''
j) "It was their two goals that were the problem. We thought we were comfortable and in this division you're never comfortable. We switched off … "It's almost a step forward and then a step backwards at the moment…The team worked well this week and I felt good going into the game. But we had a few low performances today and I'll have to look at the selection of the side because there are one or two who are desperate to have a go.''
'k)'I felt a bit disappointed in the first half as we seemed too up for the war and couldn't seem to settle ourselves down and keep possession. We kept turning the ball over to them…in the second half I thought we played very well and thought we should have perhaps wrapped up the game …maybe we got the balance wrong in the first half; we were too determined perhaps. And you can't play a game like that, giving the ball away.''
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lol
At the moment i'd recomend Trading Places.........
d) Wolves
j) Sheff Wed
Are they right?
But they are all from the last two months - I didn't dare go back into the archives and look at the tosh he spouted last season. Far too many painful memories...one that does stick in the mind, though, is him saying that the reason Blackpool scored five against us was because we lost Kelly Youga. I could only take this to mean that if Youga had stayed on the pitch, they probably would have got ten...
PMSL
http://www.thespoiler.co.uk/index.php/2008/10/22/spot-the-pattern-in-pardews-post-match-press-conferences