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32 minutes

AlecBAlecB
in Charlton Life Articles & Podcasts
As the excitement builds towards a new season at The Valley, the thoughts of most fans turn to new signings, formations, Reebok kits and the two Millwall fixtures.

Not this midlife fan!

Now that we’re back in the Championship, with larger crowds, my thoughts are focussed on what time I need to go down to the North Stand lower concourse to nip to the loo and guarantee being served a half-time pint.

I’ve been following Charlton for 45 years and visited many a concourse on my travels, but the North Stand lower concourse at The Valley is in a (lower) league of its own. If you’re operating a refreshment outlet at a football ground, you would expect to have to serve customers at half-time, or if you don’t know much about football, about 45 minutes after everyone suddenly disappears. This logic doesn’t apply to the North Stand lower concourse!

The look of complete surprise on the faces of the staff every time I approach the till is something to behold. The order is always the same, “four Anytime IPA’s please”, but the delivery is less predictable. Part of the problem is that the beer is poured at the far end of the bar so after taking the order, and then computing it, my designated adventurer has to make their way across to the ‘pouring team’ who appear equally as surprised to receive an order for beer. The four pints are then transported (sometimes one at a time) back across the bar and into my grateful but ageing hands.

Whilst Spurs fans can boast of their “bottoms-up” system delivering a pint in 6 seconds, the Charlton “top-down” system takes closer to 6 minutes from order to delivery, with a tutting queue slowly building up behind you. Bearing that in mind you can’t simply amble down at half-time, order your drinks and go on your merry way whistling ‘The Red Red Robin’.

During the Duchâtelet and Sandgaard eras, life was simple. 38 minutes on the clock was the signal to go down, have a piss and place your order. If it was a big game or a protest match, 36 minutes was a safer option. My bladder was programmed to hold out and life was simple. You could even watch the remainder of the half on the concourse screen.

Even at the start of last season 38 minutes was acceptable. However, as Nathan Jones started working his magic on the pitch, there was twitching off it. Things came to a head during our surge towards the play-offs. I departed my seat at 36 minutes and, to my horror, the queue was already three deep. Abandoning the pleas of my bladder, I went straight to the queue and regretted it immediately. After eventually being served and finding a gap to nurse the pints on the shelf by the wall, I had to wait cross-legged for the half-time cavalry to come.

After that incident I announced that 32 minutes was the new time. This development didn’t just impact me. If it’s someone else’s round, I’m chirping in their ear from 29 minutes to start preparing their descent and checking if there’s anything else to add to the order. I am also the ‘marker’ for Steve and co. who sit several rows behind us. When we go, they go.

I gather (and gather) the club caterers are aware of this issue and the fans frustration, but rather than having senior staff orchestrating events behind the bar they have opted to try other tactics to cut the queues. One short-lived solution involved a self-service machine which looked like it first appeared on Tomorrow’s World in 1978.

The incompetency isn’t just limited to the concourse. The ‘Fans Bar’ has also had its moments. Mum gave up years ago asking for a white wine spritzer, I was once asked if Murphy’s was meant to be black and Stuart was poured a pint of red wine when I ordered him a large measure.

So, if you are at The Valley this season keep an eye on the clock and at 32 minutes glance to the North Stand lower Block B for movement.

Or maybe not!

Who says pre-season optimism has to be restricted to on the pitch activities? Maybe the club have decided to open the abandoned bar at the far end of the concourse or perhaps there is a new formation in the ‘pouring team’ lead by a new catering signing from Spurs.

It’s always the pre-season hope that kills us!
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Comments

  • Siv_in_NorfolkSiv_in_Norfolk
    sam3110 said:
    Have a skinful before the game and go "cold turkey" for halftime.

    I've never felt the desperate need to neck a pint or two in the 15 mins between halves personally, and think that anyone who has to, has to deal with queuing up for ages if that's what it takes
    Yeah, but the service issue really is a thing. It is ridiculously,  phenomenally, comicaly bad. It's in everyone's interest to get it sorted. 
  • sam3110sam3110
    Siv_in_Norfolk said:
    sam3110 said:
    Have a skinful before the game and go "cold turkey" for halftime.

    I've never felt the desperate need to neck a pint or two in the 15 mins between halves personally, and think that anyone who has to, has to deal with queuing up for ages if that's what it takes
    Yeah, but the service issue really is a thing. It is ridiculously,  phenomenally, comicaly bad. It's in everyone's interest to get it sorted. 
    I think the main issue is staffing levels and training, it's pretty much all temp/agency staff and they therefore don't have any training, and don't really care either. They also have unused kiosks in the CEL. 

    But the thing that holds up all the queues, without fail, is the one guy that goes downstairs 10 mins before his mates to order for a whole group of people, then proceeds to order all his pints 1 or 2 at a time. I have witnessed this on multiple occasions and it drives staff, and other customers, absolutely crazy. Same goes for the dads who go down there to buy food for their snotty nosed kits and then doesn't decide what to order for them all by the time he's at the front and just stands and stares at the menu for a good 2 more minutes, as if everything is in an alien language.

    As someone who works in hospitality I can confidently say a lot of our customers really don't help with the queuing times.
  • RedhenryRedhenry
    edited August 7
    Has always been the same unfortunately, I gave up on a halftime pint years ago and I suspect many others also have because of this...
  • blackpool72blackpool72
    One of the main problems is that the bar staff don't know how to pour a pint properly. 
    I'm not blaming them as they are agency staff on minimum pay.
    I've said it before and I'll say it again,  we are living in an age of plastic bottles, so why not do away with trying to pull a pint and just sell bottled beer. 
    Other clubs do this successfully and it cuts the waiting time down to a minimum. 
  • cafc999cafc999
    Some of our group have been known to go on 7 minutes ...
  • BrentfordAddickBrentfordAddick
    As well as not knowing how to pour a pint they ae not drinkers (to their credit) so there's no experience of waiting for beer. I'm not a half time drinker but I don't understand why they don't just knock out bottles with no pouring. 
  • Peter_GPeter_G
    How many goals and key moments have you missed Alec?
    I always look forward to each new season and once I’m there I rarely miss any of the onfield action for any reason. Besides, the beer at The Valley is overpriced gnat’s p!ss.
  • LargeAddickLargeAddick
    Why not stay there the whole game and save yourself the angst?
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  • fenaddickfenaddick
    Wonder if one reason we can’t go to bottles is because of the link up with meantime. Would it be cost effective for them to produce plastic bottles only to be sold in one location? And do we actually have the space for enough fridges to keep them com enough that people won’t complain? 
  • EugenesAxeEugenesAxe
    sam3110 said:
    Siv_in_Norfolk said:
    sam3110 said:
    Have a skinful before the game and go "cold turkey" for halftime.

    I've never felt the desperate need to neck a pint or two in the 15 mins between halves personally, and think that anyone who has to, has to deal with queuing up for ages if that's what it takes
    Yeah, but the service issue really is a thing. It is ridiculously,  phenomenally, comicaly bad. It's in everyone's interest to get it sorted. 
    I think the main issue is staffing levels and training, it's pretty much all temp/agency staff and they therefore don't have any training, and don't really care either. They also have unused kiosks in the CEL. 

    But the thing that holds up all the queues, without fail, is the one guy that goes downstairs 10 mins before his mates to order for a whole group of people, then proceeds to order all his pints 1 or 2 at a time. I have witnessed this on multiple occasions and it drives staff, and other customers, absolutely crazy. Same goes for the dads who go down there to buy food for their snotty nosed kits and then doesn't decide what to order for them all by the time he's at the front and just stands and stares at the menu for a good 2 more minutes, as if everything is in an alien language.

    As someone who works in hospitality I can confidently say a lot of our customers really don't help with the queuing times.
    Orders Guinness last!

    (I know there’s no Guinness).
  • blackpool72blackpool72
    fenaddick said:
    Wonder if one reason we can’t go to bottles is because of the link up with meantime. Would it be cost effective for them to produce plastic bottles only to be sold in one location? And do we actually have the space for enough fridges to keep them com enough that people won’t complain? 
    Other clubs manage to keep their bottles cold enough to serve, so no reason why we can't.
    No idea regarding our link up with meantime. 
  • Curb_ItCurb_It
    Why cant they just sell bottles of beer ... be so much quicker and less volume to thrown down your neck in such a short window.  

    Whose remit is this to get this shambles sorted?

  • jonseventyfivejonseventyfive
    I think most of the 'facilities ' struggle with big crowds,  adds character or bloody annoying depending how you feel. 
  • fenaddickfenaddick
    blackpool72 said:
    fenaddick said:
    Wonder if one reason we can’t go to bottles is because of the link up with meantime. Would it be cost effective for them to produce plastic bottles only to be sold in one location? And do we actually have the space for enough fridges to keep them com enough that people won’t complain? 
    Other clubs manage to keep their bottles cold enough to serve, so no reason why we can't.
    No idea regarding our link up with meantime. 
    Only reason it crossed my mind is the only clubs I’ve seen bottled beer sold have either newer or bigger stadiums which had the ability to have bigger kiosks. The Valley might be able to do it, just speculation really 
  • blackpool72blackpool72
    edited August 7
    I never buy beer at the Valley for 3 very good reasons. 
    1. It's overpriced 
    2. It's shit.
    3. It takes an age to get served. 

    I have a pre match pint or 4 in the Rad and sometimes put a miniature whisky in my jacket pocket for half time. 

    I would only consider buying at the valley if the 3 reasons I gave for not drinking there are resolved. 
  • BrentfordAddickBrentfordAddick
    Nobody says you have to drink at football but if we are going to sell it, at least sell it in a way that works well. Probably not a massive priority because I wonder how much more would actually be sold, but, if it can be done better at no cost then it's right to try and do it better. 

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  • CAFCTrevCAFCTrev
    edited August 7
    Tbh I think the best solution are plastic cups and banks of self service beer machines in the concourses, like the Guinness ones we have at Twickenham. Probably very pricey to set up but it has to be the future. Dozens of people would get beers in a handful of minutes, and the standard manned concourse kiosks could be restricted to food and simple soft drink orders to minimise queues there also.


  • sam3110sam3110
    se9addick said:
    Lordflashheart said:
    I’ve never understood the need for a half time pint

    In any event the beer at The Valley is rank 
    golfaddick said:
    I know the OP was partly tongue in check but it never ceases to amaze me that someone cant go 2 hours without alcohol. 


    Every time a thread like this arises we see these comments and it creates a ridiculously false narrative. 

    I doubt there are many of our fans who “need” a pint at half time or genuinely “can’t go 2 hours without alcohol”. By the same token people don’t need to spend their Saturday afternoon watching 22 men chasing an inflatable ball. 

    But they are grown adults who want to have a drink at the football, I’m surprised that would “amaze” anyone. 
    If that's the case and they want a pint then they can queue up for one can't they? And if the queue is long and the wait is a lot, then they can question their life choices, but complaining about the long wait on here solves nothing, and a sensible solution is to drink elsewhere and forego the half-time pint. 

    Anyone that wants a pint at a football match, and sees the ridiculous price, the shite quality and the slow service, and still wants a pint and queues up for 20 mins for one gets what they deserve 
  • GreenhitheGreenhithe
    I’m in the same block as you and your post is both hilarious and spot on. The bar staff are to a man disinterested young slow and out of their depth. I have been close to screaming or crying before. It’s literally torture. Let’s hope it’s sorted this year but I ain’t holding my breath. 
  • ElfsborgAddickElfsborgAddick
    I understand the view that you should be able to go through the game without the need of a drink, however, I think that it is avoiding the issue of the shocking service, which lets face it, has been going on for many years.
    As has been mentioned, a way of reducing the waiting time drastically is to serve booze in a bottle.
  • GreenhitheGreenhithe
    One said to me last year “what is lemonade”. Genuinely. He works behind a bar. 

  • ElfsborgAddickElfsborgAddick
    sam3110 said:
    se9addick said:
    Lordflashheart said:
    I’ve never understood the need for a half time pint

    In any event the beer at The Valley is rank 
    golfaddick said:
    I know the OP was partly tongue in check but it never ceases to amaze me that someone cant go 2 hours without alcohol. 


    Every time a thread like this arises we see these comments and it creates a ridiculously false narrative. 

    I doubt there are many of our fans who “need” a pint at half time or genuinely “can’t go 2 hours without alcohol”. By the same token people don’t need to spend their Saturday afternoon watching 22 men chasing an inflatable ball. 

    But they are grown adults who want to have a drink at the football, I’m surprised that would “amaze” anyone. 
    If that's the case and they want a pint then they can queue up for one can't they? And if the queue is long and the wait is a lot, then they can question their life choices, but complaining about the long wait on here solves nothing, and a sensible solution is to drink elsewhere and forego the half-time pint. 

    Anyone that wants a pint at a football match, and sees the ridiculous price, the shite quality and the slow service, and still wants a pint and queues up for 20 mins for one gets what they deserve 

    What is your solution on the service being quickened up?
    Do you not accept that for the prices being charged for both food and drink that the service should be a lot better?
  • tom_ktom_k
    Does anyone think it’s low alcohol beer they serve there too? It would explain the taste and would make sense to stop people getting lashed.
  • sam3110sam3110
    Greenhithe said:
    One said to me last year “what is lemonade”. Genuinely. He works behind a bar. 

    It's a good question though, what does the -ade stand for? Coca Cola is a brand name, a flavoured soda or tonic, like orange soda or elderflower tonic, makes sense too. Why isn't it called Lemon Soda? Or Fizzy Lemon? Who cares about menial tasks like serving drinks when such philosophical questions can be discussed...
  • Curb_ItCurb_It
    Let us pissheads moan about not getting a pint at half time if we want.  

    Service at the Valley is appalling.  APPALLING!! Just in case anyone from the club is reading. 

    I used the Vista lounge last season a couple of times... before we went up for the start of the game we paid for our half time pints and came down to freshly poured pints waiting for us !!  You get what you pay for I guess... costs too much next season sadly. 


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