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Nuclear War and all that jazz

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  • gringo
    gringo Posts: 635
    edited June 25
    eastterrace6168 said:
    Paint your windows with white emulsion and build an air raid shelter under your stairs using the doors in your house, that should do the trick...

    ...oh and kiss yer arse goodbye...🙄



    People moved in around the corner, and immediately leapt into action.. they whitewashed the kitchen window. Two years later still unchanged, so I figure either,

    1 they've predicted Putins getting a bit trigger happy, and don't want any T-towels singed.
    2 they are too tight to buy blinds/curtains like normals do, or really cant agree on a colour.
    3 they are bone idle, haven't noticed or sacrifice virgins in the kitchen and need max privacy.
    4 pretending no ones living there and so spend the evenings behind the sofa, hiding from the            
       bayliffs.
    5 or like winding me up, because it bothers me when I really shouldn't give a toss.

    Funny thing is, if we have the fence going vertically and not horizontally it's a breach of covenant, if we display a Estate Agency sign its a breach, If we have the wrong type or colour front door thats also a breach, but covering your kitchen window in white emulsion is ok...oh it makes me  :s
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,641

  • Blackheathen
    Blackheathen Posts: 6,670
    eastterrace6168 said:
    Paint your windows with white emulsion and build an air raid shelter under your stairs using the doors in your house, that should do the trick...

    ...oh and kiss yer arse goodbye...🙄
    I can feel a song coming on
  • red10
    red10 Posts: 843
    Living in North Suffolk with the amount of air bases we have locally does make me think that the area could be a bit of a target. At least we would go out with a bit of a bang.
  • BJW
    BJW Posts: 69
    Blackheathen said:
    eastterrace6168 said:
    Paint your windows with white emulsion and build an air raid shelter under your stairs using the doors in your house, that should do the trick...

    ...oh and kiss yer arse goodbye...🙄
    I can feel a song coming on
    https://youtu.be/IFJpnVFfF8Y?si=jlBBX6KfHQ7whpKS
  • Exiled_Addick
    Exiled_Addick Posts: 17,222
    BJW said:
    Blackheathen said:
    eastterrace6168 said:
    Paint your windows with white emulsion and build an air raid shelter under your stairs using the doors in your house, that should do the trick...

    ...oh and kiss yer arse goodbye...🙄
    I can feel a song coming on
    https://youtu.be/IFJpnVFfF8Y?si=jlBBX6KfHQ7whpKS
    I think I'd rather be vapourised in a mushroom cloud than listen to this.
  • Oggy Red
    Oggy Red Posts: 44,976
    CAFCTrev said:
    Dont worry, everyone who wants a fallout shelter will be able to get one. 
    Did you get yours on Amazon Prime?



  • Oggy Red
    Oggy Red Posts: 44,976
    DaveMehmet said:
    golfaddick said:
    Well it ain't going to happen so you can carry on about your day. Read on another forum someone was going to blow everything, max out their credit cards & have a final swansong. Advice there was to not be so stupid, otherwise in 6 months time the bailiffs would he knocking on your door & you'd be up shit creek. 

    As the mug & t-shirt say.... ..keep calm & carry on. 
    Bollocks, I’ve just shagged Jenny from accounts as I thought the end was imminent. I’m going to have trouble explaining this to the wife. 
    Perhaps you'd have a better chance of survival by not explaining anything to your wife? 🤔


  • Chippycafc
    Chippycafc Posts: 14,172
    DaveMehmet said:
    golfaddick said:
    Well it ain't going to happen so you can carry on about your day. Read on another forum someone was going to blow everything, max out their credit cards & have a final swansong. Advice there was to not be so stupid, otherwise in 6 months time the bailiffs would he knocking on your door & you'd be up shit creek. 

    As the mug & t-shirt say.... ..keep calm & carry on. 
    Bollocks, I’ve just shagged Jenny from accounts as I thought the end was imminent. I’m going to have trouble explaining this to the wife. 
    I am deeply offended by your opening sentence. Could you refrain from using it please. Xx

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  • cantersaddick
    cantersaddick Posts: 17,069
    Some of us are important enough to have a place in the governments top secret fallout shelter. Unfortunately, due to HS2 there is a shortage of concrete so its not due to be finished until 2079. 
  • kigelia
    kigelia Posts: 2,582
    I read ‘Nuclear War: A scenario’ earlier this year. Unsurprisingly a depressing read and whilst fictional it is supposedly based on a lot of work with relevant experts.

    the only conclusion I have after reading it was other than making sure you are in the southern hemisphere you have no chance. Even then you won’t likely last long. 
  • SporadicAddick
    SporadicAddick Posts: 6,914
    I read many years ago that one of the then USSRs designated targets was Lewisham.

    it might be bollocks, but if Russia has retained the Soviet strike list, then stay away from the shopping centre would be my advice.

    Even if there is no prospect of nuclear armageddon, my advice remains.
  • Exiled_Addick
    Exiled_Addick Posts: 17,222
    cantersaddick said:
    Some of us are important enough to have a place in the governments top secret fallout shelter. Unfortunately, due to HS2 there is a shortage of concrete so its not due to be finished until 2079. 
    Hopefully it's not being made out of RAAC.
  • Chizz
    Chizz Posts: 28,366
    DamoNorthStand said:
    If there is a nuclear wipeout, you can guarantee we will be 4-0 up away at Millwall with 5 minutes to go when it happens.
    That would be so frustrating. Because if we were 4-0 up with five minutes to go, there would be a pretty good chance, if the game were allowed to continue to the end, that we would come away with a point. 
  • se9addick
    se9addick Posts: 32,089
    I’d rather be wiped out in a nuclear attack than have to read the original post ever again. People are such drama queens, everything’s fine. 
  • SantaClaus
    SantaClaus Posts: 7,684
    edited June 25
    se9addick said:
    I’d rather be wiped out in a nuclear attack than have to read the original post ever again. People are such drama queens, everything’s fine. 
    Until all the private jets start heading for Auckland. 
  • Big William
    Big William Posts: 3,850
    Chizz said:
    DamoNorthStand said:
    If there is a nuclear wipeout, you can guarantee we will be 4-0 up away at Millwall with 5 minutes to go when it happens.
    That would be so frustrating. Because if we were 4-0 up with five minutes to go, there would be a pretty good chance, if the game were allowed to continue to the end, that we would come away with a point. 
    Needs a poll - "Would you accept the annihilation of mankind if it meant three points at the New Den?" 

    Could be a close one
  • JohnBoyUK
    JohnBoyUK Posts: 9,054
    You know it will bloody happen just as Spurs are running away with the PL...
    #Spursy







    (Nurse, nurse, I haven't had my medication today!)
  • JohnBoyUK
    JohnBoyUK Posts: 9,054
    DamoNorthStand said:
    If there is a nuclear wipeout, you can guarantee we will be 4-0 up away at Millwall with 5 minutes to go when it happens.
    ooops, I posted without reading this...

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  • Gribbo
    Gribbo Posts: 8,542
    DamoNorthStand said:
    If there is a nuclear wipeout, you can guarantee we will be 4-0 up away at Millwall with 5 minutes to go when it happens.
    What a way to go though 
  • Oggy Red
    Oggy Red Posts: 44,976
    Gribbo said:
    DamoNorthStand said:
    If there is a nuclear wipeout, you can guarantee we will be 4-0 up away at Millwall with 5 minutes to go when it happens.
    What a way to go though 
    What, and be denied bragging rights over the Scum for the first time in more than 30 years....? 
  • MrWalker
    MrWalker Posts: 4,137
    Ccantersaddick said:
    Some of us are important enough to have a place in the governments top secret fallout shelter. Unfortunately, due to HS2 there is a shortage of concrete so it’s not due to be finished until 2079. 
    Still, they are working towards it, so that’s just as good.
  • jose
    jose Posts: 707
    Build homes with the money, don’t build things to blow them up.

  • MrWalker
    MrWalker Posts: 4,137
    JohnBoyUK said:
    You know it will bloody happen just as Spurs are running away with the PL...
    #Spursy







    (Nurse, nurse, I haven't had my medication today!)
    Thank you for releasing the pressure of the threat of nuclear Armageddon. 
    Well, not so much releasing it, as making it so infinitesimally unlikely that we can all continue our lives with carefree joy.
  • ShootersHillGuru
    ShootersHillGuru Posts: 50,666
    red10 said:
    Living in North Suffolk with the amount of air bases we have locally does make me think that the area could be a bit of a target. At least we would go out with a bit of a bang.
    Where you live in England will make sod all difference to the outcome. 
  • Davo55
    Davo55 Posts: 7,848
    At least Duchatelet might realise that his valuation of the nuclear desert that was The Valley might be a little overstated.
  • Clem_Snide
    Clem_Snide Posts: 11,759
    Just watch the Young One’s Episode - Bomb.

    Contains all survival information required.
  • valleynick66
    valleynick66 Posts: 4,912
    jose said:
    Build homes with the money, don’t build things to blow them up.

    And Seth couldn’t sit on his hands and say nothing it seems. 
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