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The season of missing socks

There had been signs that it was in its way, the number of socks that I couldn’t match into pairs seemed to be increasing once again but now the weather has turned and the nights are drawing in its only going to get worse. I can get the the need for wearing socks under boots but why don’t females buy their own ? What’s so special about mine that those in the house constantly raid my sock drawer when they want a pair to put under their wellies etc and why, if they must take mine, can’t they take a matching pair ? How difficult can it be to take two that are even the same colour or have the same pattern ? Is there some unwritten fashion rule that females must wear odd socks that belong to somebody else ?

Comments

  • I have a very simple solution for you - simply staple all of your matching socks together.

    Then all of your sock related woes will be a thing of the past....
  • edited October 14
    It’s a fricking mystery where socks go. About a year ago I bought twenty pairs and nobody raids my sock draw and now that twenty as of last Sunday ( I counted them) down to twelve. Wtf
  • They say men are obsessed with sex, socks and shaving.
    I doubt there is any man alive that hasn't had sock trauma in the past.
    Those bearded celibate barefooted monks truly have special power.
  • Have I come up with a solution ? You decide.

    I’m sure you know the way mums keep kids glove together by running a thread from each glove through the child’s sleeves ?

    Why not do the same for socks. Up each trouser leg and across the crotch. The most brilliant ideas are often the most simple.
  • Have I come up with a solution ? You decide.

    I’m sure you know the way mums keep kids glove together by running a thread from each glove through the child’s sleeves ?

    Why not do the same for socks. Up each trouser leg and across the crotch. The most brilliant ideas are often the most simple.

    Pull the other one.
  • You buy ten pairs of black socks and nothing else. Pick up the first two every morning, even in the dark. Or three if you're Rolf Harris.
  • Have you checked the dried up ones under your side of the bed?

    Brilliant.
  • Surely you pair your socks before putting them in the sock drawer? That way they don't get separated...
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  • Surely you pair your socks before putting them in the sock drawer? That way they don't get separated...

    It’s the bit once you have taken them off for laundering and finding the pair again once the misses has ironed them that they go missing.

  • Ironed socks?
    Seriously?
  • Iron socks wtf.
  • seth plum said:

    Ironed socks?
    Seriously?

    I made a choice. Ironed socks or ironed paper.
    My socks are creased to buggery.
  • Stig said:

    A couple of months ago I went for a short walk across our village with Mrs Stig. On the way back we reached a style that we had only just crossed a few minutes before. "That's strange", I said noticing an old sock on the ground. "That wasn't here before, and there's no one else around".

    "That's yours", said the lovely lady with more than a hint on confidence.

    "Of course it's not mine", I said rolling up my trouser legs to prove a point, "Mine are both here".

    "That's yours, I'm telling you. You've got another one at home just like it". Adding thoughtfully, "You'd best pick it up and bring it home".

    "I'm not picking up a strange sock", I responded. "I don't know what manky foot that's been on. And besides, I might be depriving a tramp of a good find"

    "It's been on your manky foot", stated the self-appointed expert in masculine hosiery. "Its mate is in our linen basket".

    A state of mild bickering continued for a few minutes before she finally persuaded me to pick up the grotesque item. When we arrived home, she bounded up the stairs with an enthusiasm rarely seen since our early twenties. She disappeared into the bathroom, emerging a few seconds later with a wide grin and a sock that looked exactly like the one I'd just fetched home. It was then that she had a sudden attack of the Angela Lansburys. "Last night", said informed me "you went to bed drunk. You pulled off your jeans without taking your socks off properly. One fell off on the floor. The other must have got stuck up your trouser leg. This morning you put new socks on, but the same jeans as yesterday - with one one sock still stuck up the leg. You sat around on Charlton Life all morning so there was nothing to dislodge it. Nothing, that is, until you stretched your leg to step over the style and that's when it fell out".

    And that I believe is the answer to where the missing socks go. They are deposited around the countryside by hungover drunkards, unaware that their lazy disrobing habits are the single biggest cause of a sock-pollution epidemic. With thanks the the great sock detective of south Essex.

    Seriously impressive Mrs Stig. Seriously impressive.
  • edited October 14

    Have you checked the dried up ones under your side of the bed?

    FFS, don’t tell me you burgled my house AND had a wank in our bed...

    I hope it was Mrs Ltgtr’s photo you were looking at and not mine...
  • I was topping up the Brownie Points the other day by pegging the washing on the line for Mrs Hex. Applying some order to the process I decided to start with the socks and peg them in pairs. 10 of the first 11 socks randomly picked out were different !
  • seth plum said:

    Ironed socks?
    Seriously?

    No not seriously. I don’t even iron my pants.

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  • No prizes for guessing what your getting for Christmas...
  • Surely you pair your socks before putting them in the sock drawer? That way they don't get separated...

    no, but they get seperated from going from the laundry basket into the washing machine & out again. I live on my own. I dont have any pets or ghosts in my house. I currently have 3 single socks of different colours....1 blue, 1 black & 1 grey. where are their matching brothers ??
  • I have sometimes worn the right one on the left foot and the left one on the right by accident not as a fashion statement
  • edited October 15

    Surely you pair your socks before putting them in the sock drawer? That way they don't get separated...

    no, but they get seperated from going from the laundry basket into the washing machine & out again. I live on my own. I dont have any pets or ghosts in my house. I currently have 3 single socks of different colours....1 blue, 1 black & 1 grey. where are their matching brothers ??
    The blue and black ones can potentially be explained by the crap lighting you (me & everybody) else has in their houses and the length of time that has passed since you bought them. Trying putting your socks into pairs in daylight next time or buy new ones. As for the grey, accept that it was a mistake buying it in the first place and throw it away, there’s a reason why some ‘designers’ sell socks in packs that contains a mix of black, blue and grey socks and that’s because nobody in their right mind would buy the grey ones if they had a choice.
  • edited October 15
    Quite a few years ago I also had the great missing socks debacle in my house. No matter how many I bought it was guaranteed that within a few months I’d be down to the bare bones!

    Having grilled my then partner and satisfied that it wasn’t her, I could find no explanation.
    Until the following spring when I was out in the back garden turning over the soil and discovered them buried in various places throughout.

    The dog, obviously not satisfied that the detergent we used was doing it’s job, took it upon herself to dispose of the odious offenders and presumably do her and us all a big favour!
  • There ought to be a documentary series about men and socks. We haven't even got on to the toenail aspect of things yet, or at what point we decide our socks have had it.
  • seth plum said:

    They say men are obsessed with sex, socks and shaving. doubt there is any man alive that hasn't had sock trauma in the past.
    Those bearded celibate barefooted monks truly have special power.

    I have never read anything from DaveMehmet about shaving.

  • Shaven haven maybe?!?
  • edited October 18
    I reckon they go to the same place at Tupperware lids.
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