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The Apprentice 2017

edited October 2017 in Not Sports Related
Welcome to the Apprentice 2017 thread.

This year's series of the BAFTA Award winning The Apprentice starts on Wednesday 4 October (BBC1, 9pm). It has exceeded the business lifespan of some of its previous winners and has now reached series 13.

Early winners of the "process" have had mixed careers. Tim Campbell and Michelle Dewberry (winners of series one and two, respectively) have both successfully fought cancer; series five winner Yasmina Siadatan fell pregnant following a romance with a colleague, within four months of joining Sugar's business and decided not to return after maternity leave; Stella English, winner of series six quit her role when she found out her contract was not going to be renewed and sued Sugar, unsuccessfully. But fingernail botherer Tom Pellereu (who jointly holds the record for the highest number of task defeats), former wrestler Richard "Ricky" Martin and GP Leah Totton (winners of series seven, eight and nine) have all had varying degrees of success following £250k investment wins.

Some of the more famous contestants in the past are those that failed to win, including serial clothing-remover Luisa Zissman (runner up, series nine) and hateful, hate-filled hate preacher Katie Hopkins, who deserted series six and was subsequently fired from her "real" job.

Series 13 contestants
- 26 year old Clark Kent lookalike Andrew Brady, a Project Engineer from Cheshire
- Irritating, 36 year old fashion pr Anisa Topan, from Surrey
- Clothing company owner, Bushra Shaikh, 34, from Surrey, who is very good at selling (so she keeps saying)
- 24 year old Charles Burns from Manchester, who is a management consultant
- Chatham FC footballer Danny Grant, 32 from Rochester
- Big, scary florist, Elizabeth McKenna, 39, from Nottinghamshire
- Tory boy Elliot van Emden, 31 year old law firm owner
- 27 year old sales executive from Watford Harrison Jones
- 25 year old marketing manager, Jade English, from Manchester, who seems unable to use the word "really", but absolutely adept at deploying a similar word, "reallyreally"
- James White. 26. Birmingham. Looks like Macaulay Culkin. And not in a good way.
- Jeff Wan. Look, I'll be honest, the series hasn't even started and I hate this guy already. "To be honest, I think Lord Sugar is going to be a great break dancer". Oh do fuck off mate.
- Joanna Jarjue. 23. Daily Mirror: "The Apprentice hopeful Joanna Jarjue is winning over fans with her incredible bikini body". I don't think she'll be first out.
- Builder Michaela Wain, 33, Bolton. Her game plan, "I'm just' gonna be meself". My advice Michaela: don't.
- Ross Fretton, Digital Product Consultant from Essex. Claims "I’m usually the smartest person in any room". My guess is he spends a lot of time on his own.
- Sajan Shah 24 year old from London. Our city seems to have been very poorly represented this year.
- 25 year old clothing company owner Sarah-Jayne Clark from Derbyshire. "I am not a manipulative person, but if someone gets in my way, I will move them out of the way": Sarah-Jayne, demonstrating the fact she doesn't know what manipulative means.
- 35 year old confectionery company owner Sarah Lynn from London. "Women are like tea bags – you don’t know how strong they are until you put them in hot water". Thanks for that, Sarah.
- Siobhan Smith, 34 year old wedding company owner from London: "I fly aeroplanes, scuba dive, jump off cliffs, paraglide; I’m a blogger and a mother – as well as running my wedding planning business. A lot of people call me superwoman". Really? And what do you do in your spare time, Siobhan?

So, will you be watching? Who are the most likely winners? Who's taking the "walk of shame" early? (Charlton-related klaxon: the w.o.s. is filmed outside the head office of former Charlton shirt sponsor Viglen).

Final note
This year's episode includes - possibly for the first time on national television - one of our own.


  • Dont you just wish that there was a 'please do not post here because it just promotes people who are up their arse and just makes you cringe and the show is a pile of shit' button.
    Yuk - makes me wanna puke.
  • Lurid stories now please @Carter
  • I saw a stall selling Alana's cakes this afternoon in Lancaster, ridiculously rich by Alana. I didn't see here there though
  • Carter said:

    Danny is one of my mates, was on Charltons books as a kid. Very, very decent footballer. I'm dreading how he is going to come across

    He sings the fresh prince of bel air theme tune in the meet the candidates preview.
  • Joanna Jarjue is an ex pupil of mine. She was pretty sure of herself and hot-headed. She should do well in The Apprentice environment.
  • McBobbin said:

    Can't wait. Love the apprentice, but mainly to be rude about the contenders

    Me too.
  • Can't stand the revolting contestants and I dislike reality TV, but I watch The Apprentice, why? :blush:
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  • Contestants seem to get thicker year on year so hopefully the trend continues.
  • Can't stand the revolting contestants and I dislike reality TV, but I watch The Apprentice, why? :blush:

    Because it can't fail to make you feel better about yourself.

    The vast majority are grade A arseholes who actually believe the cliched crap they come out with. They profess to be great business minds but in reality would struggle to run a lemonade stall in their own front garden.
  • Can't stand the revolting contestants and I dislike reality TV, but I watch The Apprentice, why? :blush:

    same here. Love watching these know-it-alls fail miserably then blame each other. It's car crash TV at its finest.
  • I suspect they are manipulated and edited to look like idiots. The clearly pick them to entertain rather than to find a great business person. If they did not make stupid decisions that we can see are wrong from the beginning - we wouldn't be so entertained.
  • Back in the day, The Weakest Link did a 'celebrity' special with some of the mouth breathers from The Apprentice. They were pretty much all thick as shit and most of them would struggle to sit the right way up on the toilet. I try to avoid all contact with this show because I know that if I see even one challenge I will keep watching out of some sense of morbid curiosity.
  • I suspect they are manipulated and edited to look like idiots.

    Absolutely no question about it. Some of the edits and inserts they do are so disingenuous I struggle to watch it now.

    The reaction shots are the worst. Someone says something, it's then edited to add comic timing with some silly music, and a reaction shot taken from a completely different part of the day slipped in to finish it off.
  • Essential viewing in the Swisdom household - just to see how inept these people really are.

    I know they pick people who make good tv as opposed to those who might be decent "in business" but it's perfect harmless tv
  • Imagine how boring it would be with competent contestants!
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  • On now
  • They are deliciously awful. Got my wine, and settled down
  • Makes me cringe watching some of them
  • Losing money. Tut tut. tbf Danny was far from the worst
  • Went to uni with Elliot. Don't remember much about him. Charles seems like a right pain in the arse
  • edited October 2017
    I'm sure I recognised that Danny. Was he at your wedding @Carter ?

    Such a great edited programme to make everyone look twats.
  • I'm sure I recognised that Danny. Was he at your wedding @Carter ?

    Such a great edited programme to make everyone look twats.

    Oh mate I was howling with laughter all the way through that. When they were picking a project manager I was shaking my head going 'don't do it Dan, don't do it' he can't run a bath!

    Fair play to him for having a go, he came across about as well as I expected him to, he's a really nice bloke but I knew he wouldn't have the emotional intelligence to rise above the noise and make a decision. He also responded to criticism exactly how I thought he would.

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Roland Out!