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Found this on the Everton rivals site......

....and made me chuckle so thought i'd share it.

Not letting your poo go until the coast is clear -

next time you are in a public convenience washing your hands whilst someone is in the toilet being strangely quiet. simply dry your hands then open and close the exit door, fooling the pooper into a false sense of security. the first "sploosh" can then be greeted with a massive "WAHEY!"

Comments

  • LOL that made me laugh to.....
  • HOW TO POO AT WORK

    We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in
    our cubicles
    and suddenly felt something brewing down below. As much as we try to
    convince
    ourselves otherwise, the WORK POO is inevitable. For those who hate pooing
    at
    work, following is the Survival Guide for taking dump at work.
    CROP DUSTING
    When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in
    your area and
    everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful
    when you
    do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra
    30 feet to make
    sure the smell has left your pants.
    FLY BY
    The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooing. Walk in and check for
    other pooers.
    If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful
    not to become
    a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you
    constantly
    going
    into the bathroom.
    ESCAPEE
    A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop
    in a stall. This is usually
    accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee,
    do not
    acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the
    farter in the urinal,
    pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable
    for all involved.
    Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

    JAILBREAK
    When forcing a poo, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace.? This
    is
    usually a side effect
    of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in
    the stall until everyone
    has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just
    occurred.

    COURTESY FLUSH
    The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poo hits the water.? This
    reduces the amount of air time
    the poo has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught
    doing the
    WALK OF SHAME.
    WALK OF SHAME
    Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk
    up the bathroom. This can
    be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with
    farts, it is best to
    pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the
    COURTESY FLUSH.
    OUT OF THE CLOSET POOER
    A colleague who poos at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see
    an
    Out Of The Closet Pooer
    enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm.
    Always look around the office
    for the Out Of The Closet Pooer before entering the bathroom.
    THE POOING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N)
    A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooing goes
    off
    without incident. This
    group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Pooers,
    and identify SAFE HAVENS.
    SAFE HAVENS
    A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least
    expect
    visitors. Try floors that
    are predominantly of the opposite sex.? This will reduce the odds of a
    pooer of your sex entering the
    bathroom.
    TURD BURGLAR
    Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force
    the door open. This is one of the
    most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poo at
    work. If this occurs, remain
    in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all
    uncomfortable eye contact.
    CAMO-COUGH
    A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are
    in a stall. This can be used to
    cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective
    when used in conjunction
    with an ASTAIRE.
    ASTAIRE
    A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you
    are
    occupying a stall. This will remove
    all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the
    bathroom immediately so the pooer can
    poo in peace.

    WATERMELON
    A poo that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is
    also an embarrassing incident. If you
    feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
    HAVANAOMELET
    A case of diarrhea that creates series of loud splashes in the toilet
    water. Often accompanied by an Escapee.
    Try using Camo-Cough with an Astaire.
  • And people call this site elitist........
  • Can't beat toilet humour!!
  • You are right about our reputation Barts:

    ELITIST:
    Pooer that checks all cubicles before selecting the best one for
    their actions. Probably posts on Charlton Life.
  • Olly!!! Are you getting all this dood!!

    We didn't even start it!!
  • [cite]Posted By: Carter[/cite]Olly!!! Are you getting all this dood!!

    We didn't even start it!!

    are you joking, i wrote that!!!
  • Quality!!
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