Office Christmas Parties

man_at_milletts · December 15

The crafty snog, the slap and tickle in the stationery cupboard. Photocopying your bum.

Do they still exist? What's your memories?

ForeverAddickted · December 15

My fondest memory was the Christmas Party this year... I didnt go.

God I'm such an anti-social miserable bastard at times... and I f**king love it!!

cantersaddick · December 15

Did 12 pubs of Christmas with work on Thursday. Far beyond my usual drinking capabilities. Managed to stumble my way onto the last train home. Fell asleep, missed New Eltham, someone woke me up at Bexley, no trains back in the other direction - had to Uber home. Had to stop the Uber to get out and be sick. Threw up again at home. Wife very angry that I "tried to keep up with the young ones" - Still haven't told her about missing the stop and the uber! 9am with my director the next morning felt like climbing Kilimanjaro.

Still haven't looked at my bank account.

Brownie12 · December 15

cantersaddick said:

Did 12 pubs of Christmas with work on Thursday. Far beyond my usual drinking capabilities. Managed to stumble my way onto the last train home. Fell asleep, missed New Eltham, someone woke me up at Bexley, no trains back in the other direction - had to Uber home. Had to stop the Uber to get out and be sick. Threw up again at home. Wife very angry that I "tried to keep up with the young ones" - Still haven't told her about missing the stop and the uber! 9am with my director the next morning felt like climbing Kilimanjaro.

Still haven't looked at my bank account.

Tell her it’s none of her business. Always goes down well.

Brownie12 · December 15

ForeverAddickted said:

My fondest memory was the Christmas Party this year... I didnt go.
God I'm such an anti-social miserable bastard at times... and I f**king love it!!

With you on that. My work had 3 different things going on this year and I’ve managed to swerve all 3.

ElfsborgAddick · December 15

Best to avoid Christmas bashes, you don't face embarrassment on return to work if anything has happened.

R0TW · December 15

Spill the beans, what did you do to have to escape to Brazil?

ElfsborgAddick · December 15

R0TW said:

Spill the beans, what did you do to have to escape to Brazil?

Working too hard.

R0TW · December 15

I assume that’s not a typo?

ElfsborgAddick · December 15

R0TW said:

I assume that’s not a typo?

Red card for that

SuedeAdidas · December 15

I go to the team / section dos…… but never to the big company ones.

Far too try hard and/or poncy.

This year’s one was in London Zoo FFS.

WSS · December 15

SuedeAdidas said:

I go to the team / section dos…… but never to the big company ones.
Far too try hard and/or poncy.
This year’s one was in London Zoo FFS.

Well it definitely wouldn't have been wild.

MrOneLung · December 15

SuedeAdidas said:

I go to the team / section dos…… but never to the big company ones.
Far too try hard and/or poncy.
This year’s one was in London Zoo FFS.

Merry Christmas you filthy animals

Carter · December 15

Genuinely I could not think of many worse ways to spend an evening.

I have to be paid to spend time with the fuckers I work with, there is no way I'm being around them voluntarily

DaveMehmet · December 15

Carter said:

Genuinely I could not think of many worse ways to spend an evening.

I have to be paid to spend time with the fuckers I work with, there is no way I'm being around them voluntarily

That’s the spirit mate

O-Randy-Hunt · December 15

Mine was banging this year.

Scoham · December 15

https://x.com/jordanreviewsit/status/1998819675635945560?s=46&t=A-w3Eq0EWWpjMxring904Q

gmantaxi · December 16

Some proper fun time Frankie’s on here , 3 for me , 1st one today 🎉

CharltonKerry · December 16

I worked for 55 years and attended 1 and frankly that was 1 to many.

AllHailTheHen · December 16

No Xmas real parties these days at my place. Just very sedate team lunches which we did the F1 arcade this year.

Roll back 25 years and it was absolute carnage. Based on the office etiquette nowadays there would be multiple people getting the boot the day after. I really miss those days!

DaveMehmet · December 16

The first one I went to was a medieval night at Chilham Castle. I worked at the local Lloyds Branch in Blackfen and we joined a couple of local branches and went together by coach. My mum worked at Welling so was also there with my Dad. I was only 16 and got very pissed, very quickly (they were serving mead). I ended up getting thrown out of the bar as I was asking the barmaids (dressed as wenches in low cut tops) to "just get me something from the bottom shelf so you have to bend down".

Got back on the coach and threw up down the aisle after about 20 minutes. My parents were sitting with the bank manager and my Mum was mortified.

On the walk home after the coach dropped us off, I was stumbling along the pavement and my Dad shouted "stand up straight and walk properly" to me. Apparently I practically stood to attention and marched down Days Lane.

ButtleJR · December 16

Glad to see this forums filled with such outgoing, sociable people. Mines today, looking forward to it. Free bar opens at 1pm so could be interesting. A former colleague of mine woke up in France after a Christmas do with no recollection of how she got there (and with no passport) and hasn't touched a drop of alcohol since... Scary

man_at_milletts · December 16

I recall years ago getting the train home to New Eltham after an office party and jumped on and spotted a nearby neighbour who worked for the same company. He wasn't particularly pleasant but we were on nodding terms. He was absolutely bladdered and drifting in and out of consciousness. The train stops at a station and all of a sudden he leaps up and starts pressing the open door button which had no effect so he starts smacking on the door with the palms of his hands. All of a sudden the warning goes for the door closing and he peeks over his shoulder as the doors to the platform are just about to close so he makes a dramatic leap and just squeezes through the doors. He lands on the platform with a smile on his face and then as the train starts to pull away he notices I'm still on the train and I could see from his face he was thinking twat! I just had sight of him as he turned round to see that he had got off the last train that night at Mottingham. Happy days.

Pedro45 · December 16

man_at_milletts said:

I recall years ago getting the train home to New Eltham after an office party and jumped on and spotted a nearby neighbour who worked for the same company. He wasn't particularly pleasant but we were on nodding terms. He was absolutely bladdered and drifting in and out of consciousness. The train stops at a station and all of a sudden he leaps up and starts pressing the open door button which had no effect so he starts smacking on the door with the palms of his hands. All of a sudden the warning goes for the door closing and he peeks over his shoulder as the doors to the platform are just about to close so he makes a dramatic leap and just squeezes through the doors. He lands on the platform with a smile on his face and then as the train starts to pull away he notices I'm still on the train and I could see from his face he was thinking twat! I just had sight of him as he turned round to see that he had got off the last train that night at Mottingham. Happy days.

That reminds me of a true story from days well long gone; bladdered guy wakes up on the train, realises it's stopped and thinks it's his stop, so goes to the (manual) door, opens it, and steps out into the void and falls flat on his face. There was no platform! The other passengers leap up to help him, drag him back onto the train and he's very appreciative, thanks everyone, and heads to the door the other side of the train. He then opens that door, steps out and falls into the void once more. The train had stopped outside his station!

Oh_Yoni_Boy · December 16

Had mine last week, 2-5pm in the office including a long meeting with all the EMEA leadership team patting themselves on the back and giving god-awful soundbites about how it's been such a great year, and then self-funded to the pub after that for those who wanted to... game's gone! A couple of youngsters leading the charge to getting inappropriately pissed when I left around 10ish was the only glimmer of hope.

Rizzo · December 16

Ours was last week and it was pretty decent. Started at 1pm with a nice meal followed by drinks, all on the company tab. I left about 7.00, nicely pissed but not hammered, got home at a decent time and no hangover the next day. For a middle-aged bloke who doesn't get out much these days, that was about as much as I could have asked for.

Carter · December 16

ButtleJR said:

Glad to see this forums filled with such outgoing, sociable people. Mines today, looking forward to it. Free bar opens at 1pm so could be interesting. A former colleague of mine woke up in France after a Christmas do with no recollection of how she got there (and with no passport) and hasn't touched a drop of alcohol since... Scary

Fuck that right off

I'm plenty sociable, with my people. I've been around long enough to know nothing good is going to come out of spending free time with people I would avoid if I was unlucky enough to see on a weekend.

What I will say is a lot has happened to make the workplace as difficult as possible to freely socialise.

We get a load of bollocks about bringing your whole self to work. Utter bullshit, if I were to bring my whole self to work as opposed to the overly tolerant, patient, dare I say it, professional version of myself it wouldn't fit with the narrative of platitudes spewed down from above. Nah

I'll be myself around people I trust to be myself around thanks. From over 20 years doing what I do I can count the people I actually get on with away from work on one hand, I like having a drink with them but I'm not wasting life credits on dickheads I have to receive payment to be around

man_at_milletts · December 16

ButtleJR said:

Glad to see this forums filled with such outgoing, sociable people. Mines today, looking forward to it. Free bar opens at 1pm so could be interesting. A former colleague of mine woke up in France after a Christmas do with no recollection of how she got there (and with no passport) and hasn't touched a drop of alcohol since... Scary

What was she drinking? Just asking for a friend.

ElfsborgAddick · December 16

Carter said:

ButtleJR said:

Glad to see this forums filled with such outgoing, sociable people. Mines today, looking forward to it. Free bar opens at 1pm so could be interesting. A former colleague of mine woke up in France after a Christmas do with no recollection of how she got there (and with no passport) and hasn't touched a drop of alcohol since... Scary

Fuck that right off

I'm plenty sociable, with my people. I've been around long enough to know nothing good is going to come out of spending free time with people I would avoid if I was unlucky enough to see on a weekend.

What I will say is a lot has happened to make the workplace as difficult as possible to freely socialise.

We get a load of bollocks about bringing your whole self to work. Utter bullshit, if I were to bring my whole self to work as opposed to the overly tolerant, patient, dare I say it, professional version of myself it wouldn't fit with the narrative of platitudes spewed down from above. Nah

I'll be myself around people I trust to be myself around thanks. From over 20 years doing what I do I can count the people I actually get on with away from work on one hand, I like having a drink with them but I'm not wasting life credits on dickheads I have to receive payment to be around

Yep, agree with all that.

I'm not so desperate for a free p*** up to be with people I have nothing in common with.

F*** that off totally.

Stuart_the_Red · December 16

I used to go to the office Xmas parties, but stopped for two reasons:

1: they stopped inviting partners and it was purely employees (no fun anymore!),
and
2: they started to be more about which department could drink more and invariably ended up in handbags at dawn. I couldn’t be arsed with that!

paulbaconsarnie · December 16

When I was on tools, the works Xmas drink day used to be really enjoyable. Breakfast, game of cards and darts in one of the mess rooms with a few tinnies for those early starters then onto a pub or 6 from lunchtime.
Now I’m mainly office based and the focus is a Xmas dinner at a local pub.
Though I work with some really good people, not many are drinkers and leave after the meal.
So for the last few years I have volunteered to man the public facing office and phones for the afternoon.

They know I like a drink and think I’m making a big sacrifice when in reality I just can’t be arsed and rack up the brownie points that afternoon to use when I need favours done.

Office Christmas Parties

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