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You know you're getting old when.

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  • Porridge is 50.


  • …You have succumbed to buying a hot water bottle because your feet are too cold when going to bed. 🥸
  • Stig said:
    Porridge is 50.


    so am I now!!!
  • Flew back into England last night, today damp chilly touring the estate and looking how the plants have coped, seem instantly to be full of aches and pains.
  • Your ears get bigger and your dick gets smaller - so Alan Bennett says
  • Draw cord chino
  • You’re the last person to know what having an upside down pineapple in your trolley is all about and you hear about it on radio 4 as though it’s something normal. 
  • You’re the last person to know what having an upside down pineapple in your trolley is all about and you hear about it on radio 4 as though it’s something normal. 

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  • I had to google it 🥸
  • I've logged onto Charlton Life and am getting adverts for "Prepaid Direct Cremations".  Not bloody likely, I'm not paying up front for that when there's a roll of bin bags under the kitchen sink. What is a 'direct' cremation anyway? Is there an indirect cremation where they can only set light to you after the flame has touched someone else?
  • You’re the last person to know what having an upside down pineapple in your trolley is all about and you hear about it on radio 4 as though it’s something normal. 
    You're definitely not the last person.  When I googled it I also found this. 

    An upside-down pineapple: You're a swinger looking for a couple. Putting a peach in someone's trolley: You're basically flirting. Lettuce: You're looking for a one night stand. Lentils: You want something long-term.

    Beware all ye who enter the fruit and veg aisle  :#  
  • You’re the last person to know what having an upside down pineapple in your trolley is all about and you hear about it on radio 4 as though it’s something normal. 
    You're definitely not the last person.  When I googled it I also found this. 

    An upside-down pineapple: You're a swinger looking for a couple. Putting a peach in someone's trolley: You're basically flirting. Lettuce: You're looking for a one night stand. Lentils: You want something long-term.

    Beware all ye who enter the fruit and veg aisle  :#  
    Heads off to Sainsburys Charlton.
  • You’re the last person to know what having an upside down pineapple in your trolley is all about and you hear about it on radio 4 as though it’s something normal. 
    You're definitely not the last person.  When I googled it I also found this. 

    An upside-down pineapple: You're a swinger looking for a couple. Putting a peach in someone's trolley: You're basically flirting. Lettuce: You're looking for a one night stand. Lentils: You want something long-term.

    Beware all ye who enter the fruit and veg aisle  :#  
    Courgette and Aubergine, you fancy a bit of Ratatouille!
  • edited October 2024
    Pack of hot dogs a a bottle of gentleman's relish? Run a mile.
  • When you’re told that a crown you are having replaced is over 60 years old, tooth knocked out by a right hook whilst playing rugby at school. I suppose I can’t complain after all that time, but unfortunately the root is knackered so will almost certainly replaced by an implant.
  • edited October 2024
    .... when you both have a free flu jab appointment today :( 
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  • You’re the last person to know what having an upside down pineapple in your trolley is all about and you hear about it on radio 4 as though it’s something normal. 
    You're definitely not the last person.  When I googled it I also found this. 

    An upside-down pineapple: You're a swinger looking for a couple. Putting a peach in someone's trolley: You're basically flirting. Lettuce: You're looking for a one night stand. Lentils: You want something long-term.

    Beware all ye who enter the fruit and veg aisle  :#  
    Apparently, an inverted cauliflower means you fancy Charlton to win and damaged sprout means you still hate Roland
  • You’re the last person to know what having an upside down pineapple in your trolley is all about and you hear about it on radio 4 as though it’s something normal. 
    You're definitely not the last person.  When I googled it I also found this. 

    An upside-down pineapple: You're a swinger looking for a couple. Putting a peach in someone's trolley: You're basically flirting. Lettuce: You're looking for a one night stand. Lentils: You want something long-term.

    Beware all ye who enter the fruit and veg aisle  :#  
    And we all know what a pot noodle and a box of tissues means. 
    …and don’t mention the custard 🤓
  • Yesterday I bought milk, bread, tomatoes and potatoes I must be a supermarket sex machine.
  • iaitch said:
    Yesterday I bought milk, bread, tomatoes and potatoes I must be a supermarket sex machine.
    I hope it wasn’t a French stick. 
  • Or plum tomatoes 
  • ...and my pavlovian response to getting home from work. Head to change into house clothes and whenever my trousers are half way down I suddenly need to pee in the next 2 seconds. Haven't gotten into my head that I should visit a toilet before I leave anywhere just yet. Always found it strange that my Mum and Dad would ask to visit the facilities just before they left friends' houses. Seemed strange to think that their thanks for a nice night was to urinate or defecate, but I'm beginning to realise why now!
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Roland Out Forever!