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The Christmas Sh*ts

edited December 2020 in Not Sports Related
Mine normally start on Christmas Eve. Just as my annual two week diet of cheese, twiglets and booze starts. This year it started a little earlier, possibly June.

This year Christmas gout is a high possibility.


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Comments

  • After the Christmas pudding 
  • After about the 4th day of eating leftover turkey, ham & salad.
  • edited December 2020
    "The Christmas Shits"

    Is that the collective name for when all of Mr Hankeys family get together 
  • edited December 2020
    2.30 to 5.30 off the pan 
    back on ffs 
    the marks I get on arse and backs of legs a joke 

  • I feel your pain @oohaahmortimer
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  • Go veggie and enjoy predictable, quality dumps. And if you want to speed things up Christmas Day, go for the apricot stuffing 
  • 2.30 to 5.30 off the pan 
    back on ffs 
    the marks I get on arse and backs of legs a joke 


    Forget the bog brush, go back to using paper. Best thing I ever did.
  • 2.30 to 5.30 off the pan 
    back on ffs 
    the marks I get on arse and backs of legs a joke 

    Is that what the ooh and aah in your name refers to?
  • I have the opposite problem. If the country runs out of toilet roll it won’t be my fault. 
  • Carter said:
    All that rich food we indulge in over Christmas carries a price tag and the man must be paid in full 

    I have begun my period of abstinence from eating anything hot or too exotic so my colon can handle whatever I give it to deal with on Christmas day and will not let me down until new years eve when I will probably shit myself as big Ben chimes 

    @oohaahmortimer God speed my friend, I know you pay the price everyday I hope Christmas day itself isn't too loose and your body gives you a window of peace before the inevitable heavy metal onslaught and mayhem 
    I always have a bowl of bran or porridge and a few satsumas for Christmas Day breakfast to try and combat the onslaught of stodge for the rest of the day.

  • The problem is we have a Millenium dome bowl we fill with chocolates and they get refilled as fast as I can eat them.
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  • Blissfully regular the whole year around.  In fact Great Western Railways set their clocks by me.
  • I’m currently living on the bog , in between eating copious amounts of Cadbury’s and chocolate digestives , with the odd bit of sleep thrown in , I’m disgusting 
    Obviously you know that chocolate is bad for IBS?
  • I’m currently living on the bog , in between eating copious amounts of Cadbury’s and chocolate digestives , with the odd bit of sleep thrown in , I’m disgusting 
    Obviously you know that chocolate is bad for IBS?
    Yep , I did a year off 3 years ago and 6 months off I think start of this year.

    It helps but not massively , my constitutional action is mainly mush whatever the diet 
  • I’m currently living on the bog , in between eating copious amounts of Cadbury’s and chocolate digestives , with the odd bit of sleep thrown in , I’m disgusting 
    Obviously you know that chocolate is bad for IBS?
    Yep , I did a year off 3 years ago and 6 months off I think start of this year.

    It helps but not massively , my constitutional action is mainly mush whatever the diet 
    I have ulcerative colitis so I understand.
    I was having a bit of a recent flare up and decided it may be a combination of too much caffeine, wheat, chocolate and alcohol, so reduced the intake and am much improved.
  • I always get an attack of the chalfonts at Christmas 
  • lolwray said:
    I always get an attack of the chalfonts at Christmas 
    Nasty business 

    A mate of mine suffers with what he calls IDS (itchy dirtbox syndrome) which is brought on by grapes of wrath. Says the only cure is the anusol or some pretty innovative sounding tablets that go into said dirtbox and work their magic 


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