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The *Bite Size* Takeover Nonsense Thread

Stig
Stig Posts: 29,079
in General Charlton
You moaned, we listened.

A number have complained that they would rather not wade through the propaganda, speculation and (possibly somewhere) facts on The Takeover Thread about the potential take over of Charlton (as if) to get your daily dose of nonsense. When there's no takeover news, it's easy to find the nonsense you need without having to work through pages of pet theories and speculation. But on a night like tonight where there has been a meeting, suddenly it becomes a nightmare.

So our mods will run a Bite Size thread for those that just want to cherry pick the latest puns, rhymes, jokes, food combinations and chit chat.

This thread will be be kept closed to ensure its purity and to keep it free from facts and rumours. If you would like to contribute to this thread please inbox me or post a summary in the main takeover thread and I'll take the credit when I copy it here.

August 2014
@Sonicstud85 posts a groundbreaking early noodle post: 'The new Peri Peri Pot Noodle is devine'.

February 2018
Noodle Fever sweeps the Takeover thread. @BetterCallSaul states Red Bull is best enjoyed with a Pot Noodle. @catfordmorry wanted to know how to cook a pot noodle, to which @johnny73 says just chuck it in the microwave. @Solidgone claimed that Elvis sang about Pot Noodles. @JamesSeed wondered if there were gravy flavoured ones to which @Scoham informs him that it's a northern thing. @AFKABartram likes Chow Mien @cfgs likes chicken and mushroom but did mention something about a Brazilian (not sure if he hadn't changed topic though. @Karim_myBagheri posted a salacious picture of a Hot Noodle bearing the words 'Hurt Me You Slag'. @SE7toSG3 treated us to a story that might as well have started Uncle Albert style with the words 'during the war...' and carried on to describe eating pot noodle sandwiches whilst doing something with a shimuli (no, me neither) and engaging in bare knuckle fights with Russians. In contrast, @Henry Irving confessed that he's never had a pot noodle and hopes he never shall.

May 2018
Fish puns are back in fashion. Too many (and too many repeats) to give individual credits but 'Clown-ing around', 'What's the manta with you?', 'get rid of RD hook, line and sinker', "Roland a cheap skate', 'Carping', 'jumped the shark', 'Krill someone', an 'Karel Fry' were amongst the many delights posted.

September 2018
Short discussion about Islands in which @HarryLime reminded us very cleverly in response to a 'no man is an island' quote that in fact Barry is.

Comments

  • Stig
    Stig Posts: 29,079
    edited January 2019
    December 2018

    After a quiet couple of months which saw no serious nonsense other than a temporary return of fish puns (not that they ever really went away), things started to look up just before the new year with the introduction poems (for the want of a better word).

    @LTKapal started it off by posting the following effort:

    There once was a man called Roland
    He had less fans than EU's Poland
    Katriens back he did rub, with his new club
    Now we've no subs, they're off down the pub
    With the fans given no hope of promotion

    Finishing the post with the words "How'd I do", was like a red rag to Charlton Life's very own Laureate @SoundAsa£ and earned Kapal a scathing review which is best précised by the learned one's final two words, "absolutely hopeless". It was explained that the poem was deliberately poor as the author aimed to mirror Duchatelet's ownership style. Bids to buy the rights of the poem are understood to be well below the author's £40m valuation.

    Next up was @Exiled_Addick who cleverly critiqued the earlier work by making it the subject of his own ditty. This "sterling work" was described as close to perfect by The Laureate:

    There was a poster called Kapal,
    Whose poem made SoundAs say “Well”,
    “The lines were too long”
    “And the syntax all wrong”
    “And the last line don’t rhyme, bloody hell!”

    @soapboxsam suggested an addition to Exiled's opus magnum, before artistic duo @killerandflash posted their own work, scoring a very creditable 15 on the LOLometer:

    There once was a man called Roland
    Who signed a crap striker from Poland
    He's better than Yann
    Said no Charlton fan
    And now it's been 4 years of woe-land

    @soapboxsam suggested an amendment, which our poetic principal also described as "hopeless" before a third effort from Samuel the Orator was said to cause Soundas to tear his hair out and there were accusations that he didn't know what a rhyming couplet is:

    Roland has seven chips on each shoulder,
    Which was even noticed by Bob Boulder.
    He is a Walloon, and a bell-end,
    and back to Belgium we must send.
    Not being xenophobic about his exit,
    But lets all vote for REXIT.

    @Solidgone introduced a new style of poetry using just one word. His seminal work 'Shit' and his follow up 'Boom' are still talked about today in some circles, but only ever using one word. At this point we all got pissed, wished each other Happy New Year and Poetry Club was ended, or was it...
This discussion has been closed.

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