The Ashes 2017-18

Gabba Gabba Gabba – Day 1 – Business Commences

I woke up jaded this morning after 5 hours’ sleep in Brisbane, but soon felt fine as I prepared for the battle at The Gabba. I hadn’t realised it was a 10am start. I strode towards the ground in a purposeful and, dare I say, a business-like manner. There was business to do. Indeed, I am reminded of Geoffrey Boycott, who on arriving in Australia for the first time, wrote ‘Business’ in the box on his immigration card for the ‘purpose of visit’. A few hours earlier, I had ticked the tourism box, but it felt like business as I approached The Gabba.

When I heard that England had won the toss, I expected a morning of fearsome deliveries whistling past the ears of our heroes. There was ten minutes of fanfares, National Anthems et al and we were ready to go. The first ball to Cook was delivered to a deafening roar, followed a big ‘ooh’, but the ball past safely past Cook. The second ball was the same. The third ball was a softer ‘ooh’, but the same ball and then we were down to business as usual and a crowd that was less vociferous than I had expected.

The hype about Starc and Hazlewood looked nothing more than, well, hype as the England openers played the first two overs comfortably. Then, Cook became statuesque and an edge meant that we were 2 for 1 (or 1 for 2, if you come from Aussieland). I feared the worst, but there was no need as Vince and Stoneman looked comfortable all the way to lunch. Don’t get me wrong, the Aussies bowled well and very tidily, but I’ve seen scarier stuff from Jofra.

Lunch in Brisbane seems to involve drinking as much beer as you can in 40 minutes. It’s gassy stuff and nowhere as nice as a pint of Harveys at Hove. But, there was no rush as weird rain fell on The Gabba. In every direction, there were blue skies but for an hour a dark cloud sat over the ground and steady drizzle fell. The ground staff looked lackadaisical and the covering of the square looked inadequate, but once the rain stopped we were back playing far more quickly than in England. Perhaps, it’s drier rain than at home.

Vince and Stoneman continued slowly but started to gather some momentum, but it was the last momentum for some time until a six from Mooen Ali late in the day. I learnt from an Aussie sitting next to me that Nathan Lyon is nicknamed Garry as there is a Garry Lyon who plays Aussie Rules Football, but that it’s OK to call him Larry, Barry or Harry as well. And, not only names that rhyme with Garry but anything that ends in -y or -ie. No, I don’t understand either.

Vince survived a dropped straightforward caught behind chance, but Stoneman got a nasty one and was bowled for a resolute 50-odd. Those flashing bails are horrible when it’s your batsmen that is out, but so much fun when an opposition batsmen is out. Paine, behind the stumps for the hosts, obviously loved seeing those flashing bails as he whipped off the bails regularly after his missed chance. His lack of practice at keeping wicket seemed to extend to a memory loss that the batsmen actually had to be out of his ground to be stumped.

Things settled again until Vince needed my body rather than his own. I would never even have considered a single to just wide of cover (assuming I was capable of planting a crisp shot wide of cover), but he thought his youth would see him home. He told Root to go, Root went, but he didn’t make it home and he went – back to the hut. A real waste after an impressive 83 that I had not expected if I’m honest.

Malan and Root then took us through our worst period of the day in my book. It’s a fine line between being sensible/cautious and getting bogged down, but a siege mentality crept in as Malan and Root looked to survive as Frankie Lyon wheeled away for over after over cheaply and the seamers bowled very tidily but no more than that. Nothing was whistling past the ears as I had expected.

Root went LBW thanks the modern technology which brought in Mooen Ali at 163 for 4. I feared another wicket or two in the last hour of play, but Ali scattered the close fielders with a six and a couple of blows and Malan came out of his shell to join him. Malan looked more relaxed without his skipper as partner. England battled back as the Aussies tired a little. Malan got his pads in the way of one going down the legside at the death from Starc and managed to convince the Aussies that it might be LBW – good trick, Dawid – a wasted Decision Review.

Besides the failed Mexican waves and a shouting match between a few Aussies and a few Poms, it was a generally subdued 35000 crowd. Not many runs, but fascinating cricket. The post play verdict from both sets of fans was that they would have liked better. Day two should be interesting.