I’m firing up porn hub as soon as Mrs Otto and Daughter are asleep. I’m hoping to stay awake long enough to finish a w@nk without being caught.
no seriously, I’m watching old episodes of The Bill and having a packet of crisps.
What flavour crisps?
The new walkers ones. “Dennis Nilsen human remains flavour” not bad to be fair.
Decent, might have to go out and get a pack or two.
You won’t regret it. They are like the Smiths Salt and shake packets - except the salt could be anything ranging from anus to a bit of brain. Keeps you guessing and much more intriguing than guessing who the masked singer is.
I’m firing up porn hub as soon as Mrs Otto and Daughter are asleep. I’m hoping to stay awake long enough to finish a w@nk off without being caught.
Try a dangerw@nk and call your wife as your doing it... See if you can get done before she catches you!!
Mate of mines regular dangerw@nk was knocking one out in bed whilst his Mrs was asleep next to him. Never got caught apparently. So he said anyway.
True story - and no it’s NOT me.
My mates wife made friends with a radical feminist that was married to this bloke called Clint - he was an air conditioning engineer.
Anyway, after she had their second kid she decided she did not want to have sex with him any more for some feminism related reason - can’t recall the exact details.
Anyway poor old Clint - he was only mid 30s - was getting balls bluer than the sky and needed some relief so when he woke up in the middle of the night with a boner he decided he needed to take matters into his own hands.
Unfortunately he must have been bashing the bishop rather too enthusiastically as he woke up his wife who went into an absolute rage about how she felt violated and - here’s the kicker - she called the fucking Police!
So the Old Bill turn up at about 3am and end up persuading her that you can’t really prosecute a bloke for having a Tommy in his own bed but advised the mortified Clint that he should find somewhere more private next time!
I’m firing up porn hub as soon as Mrs Otto and Daughter are asleep. I’m hoping to stay awake long enough to finish a w@nk off without being caught.
Try a dangerw@nk and call your wife as your doing it... See if you can get done before she catches you!!
Mate of mines regular dangerw@nk was knocking one out in bed whilst his Mrs was asleep next to him. Never got caught apparently. So he said anyway.
True story - and no it’s NOT me.
My mates wife made friends with a radical feminist that was married to this bloke called Clint - he was an air conditioning engineer.
Anyway, after she had their second kid she decided she did not want to have sex with him any more for some feminism related reason - can’t recall the exact details.
Anyway poor old Clint - he was only mid 30s - was getting balls bluer than the sky and needed some relief so when he woke up in the middle of the night with a boner he decided he needed to take matters into his own hands.
Unfortunately he must have been bashing the bishop rather too enthusiastically as he woke up his wife who went into an absolute rage about how she felt violated and - here’s the kicker - she called the fucking Police!
So the Old Bill turn up at about 3am and end up persuading her that you can’t really prosecute a bloke for having a Tommy in his own bed but advised the mortified Clint that he should find somewhere more private next time!
Yeah Yeah, sort of thing any offender would always say
Comments
*hopefully
My mates wife made friends with a radical feminist that was married to this bloke called Clint - he was an air conditioning engineer.
Anyway, after she had their second kid she decided she did not want to have sex with him any more for some feminism related reason - can’t recall the exact details.
Anyway poor old Clint - he was only mid 30s - was getting balls bluer than the sky and needed some relief so when he woke up in the middle of the night with a boner he decided he needed to take matters into his own hands.
Unfortunately he must have been bashing the bishop rather too enthusiastically as he woke up his wife who went into an absolute rage about how she felt violated and - here’s the kicker - she called the fucking Police!
So the Old Bill turn up at about 3am and end up persuading her that you can’t really prosecute a bloke for having a Tommy in his own bed but advised the mortified Clint that he should find somewhere more private next time!
So where did you decide to do it next time