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Silly Things People Say!

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  • MrOneLung said:

    I don't get the shah of Peru one... The penny not yet dropped here.

    I mean I know Peru is different continent and there was shah of Iran but think i am having a WHOOSH moment

    Shah of Persia?
  • edited May 2013
    Writer and/or singer can be foreign. I was commissioned to write the Belarus entry in 2005.
  • Writer and/or singer can be foreign. I was commissioned to write the Belarus entry in 2005.

    Where did it come ?

  • Writer and/or singer can be foreign. I was commissioned to write the Belarus entry in 2005.

    Tony Iommi wrote the Armenia entry. Oh the shame

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGOSZ7Uufno
  • edited May 2013
    If we are out and I have kept away from the score, I have to go to the match thread and follow it all the way through for luck. She always moans at me for taking too long and tells me to just look at the score and get it over with. If I ever do that and we have lost, I will blame her for us losing and have the hump all day.
  • edited May 2013
    On my first visit to Subway sandwich shop I met one of me oppos, he was in front of me in the line and asked for a foot long. Then the woman asked me.

    Her "Would you like a 6 inch or foot long?"

    Me (A bit green and not thinking) "Err 12 inch please!"

    Her "Sorry, but they only come in 6 inch or foot long.'
  • wrong thread Loco - there is a jokes thread if you want to post a few "crackers"

    Well thank you for taking time out to tell me.

    http://www.charltonlife.com/discussion/19050/jokes#latest

  • edited May 2013
    Sums it up.
    For some reason you need to click on the picture.
    JT, I aint.
  • Writer and/or singer can be foreign. I was commissioned to write the Belarus entry in 2005.

    Where did it come ?

    Unbeleiveby the then Prime Minister replaced the song and singer at the last moment and entered his own girlfriend...the very same thing happened this year.

  • I went out yesterday morning to stain/paint the garden fence. There are 9 panels & I said it'll take me all day.
    I popped in after half an hour for a coffee.
    "You finished then" she said. Grrrrrr ....
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  • Mate calls me and says can i crash at yours Saturday night as im going to the O2 for a concert.

    Yes no prob say I. Who going to see? Muse she says. I look up their schedule and they are playing at the Emirates.



  • Had to have an area of skin cancer removed a couple of months ago from my forehead. Took ages to heal, finally took the dressing off and at work the woman I sit opposite said, "oh it doesn't look too bad, once you get a bit of sun on it should be fine"
  • I said, "I have to go for a jimmy", to an ex, and poppoed to the loo.

    When I came back she looked confused and said, "what do you mean, jimmy?"
    "Well, it's rhyming slang", I said to her.
    "Oh right." She said seeming to have got it before piping up with, "well who is Jimmy Piss?"
  • Got my missus to phone the church on Xmas Eve and ask what time Midnight Mass started.

    Maybe not so daft after all: the service might start at 11 p.m., or 11.30....
  • Her: "I'm breaking up with you"
    Me: "Why"
    Her: "It's just not working"
    Me: "What do you mean it's not working"
    Her: "I'm sleeping with your best mate"
  • Car journey with the kids and ex, going through the alphabet naming birds, get to D on her turn and she says... Dildo, tried telling her she meant Dodo, but she wouldn't have it.
  • Car journey with the kids and ex, going through the alphabet naming birds, get to D on her turn and she says... Dildo, tried telling her she meant Dodo, but she wouldn't have it.

    You can see where she went wrong, one is often seen stuffed in a public place, the other is often used for stuffing in a private place.
  • Walking out after the first Lord Of The Rings film my wife asked 'where did they get all those small actors'?

  • Mrs MAM: Where's the plug off the hoover?
    Me: On the Christmas tree lights
    Mrs MAM: When did you do that then?
  • I wish I had a thick missus.
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  • I wish I had a thick missus.

    She must be if she lets you get away with taking her on a £7.50 holiday. ;0)

  • Whilst watching today's game some bird comes out with;
    "so if it ends 0-0, it's penalties then extra time"
    FFS
  • Her "are you picking our wifi up?"

    Me "No, been trying for the last 5 mins, gonna check the box in a minute."

    Her "I bet its because I unplugged it earlier!"

    Give me strength FFS!
  • edited June 2013
    4 of us going to see Stone Roses on Saturday. One being my wife, who doesn't go to that many gigs.

    Me : We'll meet up in the pub around 2pm, if that ok with you ?

    Her: Fine, at least we'll be able to have a couple of drinks, as we won't be drinking in there will we ? FFS.

  • family quiz on xmas day some years ago
    my mum got the question..."whats the capital of Belgium?"
    she hesitated for a while ,and me dad said "heres a clue you had it with your dinner"
    she answered "Turkey"

    doh!
  • 4 of us going to see Stone Roses on Saturday. One being my wife, who doesn't go to that many gigs.

    Me : We'll meet up in the pub around 2pm, if that ok with you ?

    Her: Fine, at least we'll be able to have a couple of drinks, as we won't be drinking in there will we ? FFS.

    I'd say she's clever.
    In Manchester at the Stone Roses gig I didn't have a single drink as we got crushed in a bar queue for nearly 2 hours and had to climb over the bar to get out.
    Massive nightmare queues for bars.
  • Bad planning :-)
  • BIG_ROB said:

    Her "are you picking our wifi up?"

    Me "No, been trying for the last 5 mins, gonna check the box in a minute."

    Her "I bet its because I unplugged it earlier!"

    Give me strength FFS!

    Yep, been there, done that!

    The dozy wife said she was turning it off to 'save electricity' - incroyable!
  • Seeing a girl whose first language in Chinese results in lots and lots of 'WTF' moments when she uses the wrong word.

    To be fair it's get a lot more interesting when she insists we speak in Chinese. I think I've said something correctly and she is just pissing herself laughing at me.
  • I had a Chinese last night. Well not Chinese, it was.. like.. Asian food.
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