Girlfriend: Do you want to do X at the weekend? Me: Umm, can I have a think about it? Girlfriend: Why? Me What? GF: Why do you want to have a think about it?
Got phoned 3 times in an hour yesterday by my ex who's flying over from Estonia and is having me meet her at the Airport.
1st time: "I'm arriving at 4" 2nd time: "No sorry, there was a 4 in the number. Getting in at 2pm. See you there" 3rd time: "Sorry again! I'm changing at Helsinki at 2pm, should be with you by 3:30"
She works in finance dealing with numbers all day.
Got phoned 3 times in an hour yesterday by my ex who's flying over from Estonia and is having me meet her at the Airport.
1st time: "I'm arriving at 4" 2nd time: "No sorry, there was a 4 in the number. Getting in at 2pm. See you there" 3rd time: "Sorry again! I'm changing at Helsinki at 2pm, should be with you by 3:30"
She works in finance dealing with numbers all day.
Better man than me Mr Happy. I wouldn't go out the way to pick up my ex if it was from the bus stop round the corner................
My mother is always good for an unintended laugh. Funnily enough she has just left and had us rolling our eyeballs at this one today. Talking about her brother, who is flying out from Gatwick to the Costa Del Whatever to start a week long cruise where he will be cruising the Medway.
Sometimes we just let it go as we don't want to embarrass her too much.
I have been reduced to saying "how the f**k should I know, I'm a man. I can see your lips moving but I don't understand anything your're saying". On a good day this gets a laugh.
A colleague is up in Leeds on business on Thursday & Friday this week. He was originally planning to meet his daughter who is studying at York on Thursday night but now has to go to a business function. I was telling the wife about this:
Me: "Collleague Name" isn't very happy. He was going to meet his daughter on Thursday night but has to work now Wife: She lives in Yorkshire though Me: Where do you think Leeds is? Wife: Is it far from Yorkshire?
Got phoned 3 times in an hour yesterday by my ex who's flying over from Estonia and is having me meet her at the Airport.
1st time: "I'm arriving at 4" 2nd time: "No sorry, there was a 4 in the number. Getting in at 2pm. See you there" 3rd time: "Sorry again! I'm changing at Helsinki at 2pm, should be with you by 3:30"
She works in finance dealing with numbers all day.
Better man than me Mr Happy. I wouldn't go out the way to pick up my ex if it was from the bus stop round the corner................
I'd drive my ex to Helsinki provided she stayed there...
This is another one Her "Do you think.I should dye my hair brunette?" Me "Yeah, why not, I think it would look nice." Her "So you don't like it blonde then?"
my mate who is also a mother managed to put some pizzas in with the polysterene packaging that came with it, thinking they were there as one time use baking trays.
I recall sitting with a group of friends, many years ago discussing the middle east conflict, the Palestine problem, Iran and Iraq and the brutality of their former tribal regimes. At a natural break in the conversation my girlfriend with some seriousness announced the profound conversation stopper - "I think it is all the fault of the Peruvians".
I got the strangest look when I pointed out she was either 8000 miles or a couple of letters out. It took the casual mention of the Shah of Peru for ........the penny to drop.
On another occasion when we were out enjoying a leisurely drive through the Sussex countryside, I noted we had driven past a number of hand made signs directing people to a local clay pigeon shoot. My girlfriend being very much in tune with nature with great indignation went on a 10 minute tirade (to my increasing amusement) about the brutality of men and the destruction of the countryside. It was only at the point she insisted we drive home because the day had been ruined I politely enquired as to whether she had ever seen a CLAY pigeon.
Comments
Me: Umm, can I have a think about it?
Girlfriend: Why?
Me What?
GF: Why do you want to have a think about it?
WTF?
her 'what dress shall I wear, the blue or the red?', me 'red', her 'I'll wear the blue' .
Drives me mad!
Her: "What are they doing?"
Me: "Putting on new tyres."
Her:"Why didn't they do that before the race?"
Me: He's not too concerned as he will now concentrate on helicopters.
Her: Don't they have ejector seats in helicopters then?
Her: "Scanadelphia?"
1st time: "I'm arriving at 4"
2nd time: "No sorry, there was a 4 in the number. Getting in at 2pm. See you there"
3rd time: "Sorry again! I'm changing at Helsinki at 2pm, should be with you by 3:30"
She works in finance dealing with numbers all day.
Sometimes we just let it go as we don't want to embarrass her too much.
"whats wrong with the blue one then?"
Me: "Collleague Name" isn't very happy. He was going to meet his daughter on Thursday night but has to work now
Wife: She lives in Yorkshire though
Me: Where do you think Leeds is?
Wife: Is it far from Yorkshire?
"You never liked the blue one did you"
Her Grandmother Eileen bless her, once told a Priest she couldn't attend mass as she was a Prostitute (meaning Protestant of course)
Her "Do you think.I should dye my hair brunette?"
Me "Yeah, why not, I think it would look nice."
Her "So you don't like it blonde then?"
Ffs!
Complete turnip.
I got the strangest look when I pointed out she was either 8000 miles or a couple of letters out. It took the casual mention of the Shah of Peru for ........the penny to drop.
On another occasion when we were out enjoying a leisurely drive through the Sussex countryside, I noted we had driven past a number of hand made signs directing people to a local clay pigeon shoot. My girlfriend being very much in tune with nature with great indignation went on a 10 minute tirade (to my increasing amusement) about the brutality of men and the destruction of the countryside. It was only at the point she insisted we drive home because the day had been ruined I politely enquired as to whether she had ever seen a CLAY pigeon.
Also, several years ago, my best mate's wife, upon turning 20, proudly proclaimed that she'd reached double figures!