So I went to this Eskimo restaurant. I asked to see the menu. The waiter said "we don't have a lot of options, so I'll just call them out to you". "We have whale meat steaks, we have whale meat curry, we have whale meat stir-fry and, of course, we have the Vera Lynn." I said, "what's the Vera Lynn?" He said "whale meet again".
Good God….that was a WW2 joke! Later sourced and made more well known by The Goons I believe.
Not sure if this is a joke, a true story or an anecdote that got exaggerated over time, but anyway:
In the early 60s, Stoke recruited a Scottish defender named George Kinnell. He'd played at the highest levels in Scotland but was an unknown in England. In one of his early games he overdid it with a tackle and the ref reached for his book, asking him for his number and name. And George replied "Four. Kinnell." Which almost got him sent off.
An Irish guy is travelling on a plane when the pilot makes an announcement.
”Folks, we just had one engine go out, but don’t worry, this plane can fly just fine on two engines. All it means is that we’ll be about an hour late”
An hour later, the pilot gets on the intercom again.
”Folks, don’t get alarmed, but a second engine just went out, but please don’t worry. This plane is designed to fly safely on one engine. However, it’s likely that we’ll now be about two hours late”.
After that announcement, the Irish guy turns to the person sitting next to him and says:
”Well, I sure hope that third engine doesn’t go out. We’ll be up here all night”
Nothing like a bit of casual racism for getting a laugh.
An Irish guy is travelling on a plane when the pilot makes an announcement.
”Folks, we just had one engine go out, but don’t worry, this plane can fly just fine on two engines. All it means is that we’ll be about an hour late”
An hour later, the pilot gets on the intercom again.
”Folks, don’t get alarmed, but a second engine just went out, but please don’t worry. This plane is designed to fly safely on one engine. However, it’s likely that we’ll now be about two hours late”.
After that announcement, the Irish guy turns to the person sitting next to him and says:
”Well, I sure hope that third engine doesn’t go out. We’ll be up here all night”
Would this joke be less funny if the second word in it was ‘stupid’?
An Irish guy is travelling on a plane when the pilot makes an announcement.
”Folks, we just had one engine go out, but don’t worry, this plane can fly just fine on two engines. All it means is that we’ll be about an hour late”
An hour later, the pilot gets on the intercom again.
”Folks, don’t get alarmed, but a second engine just went out, but please don’t worry. This plane is designed to fly safely on one engine. However, it’s likely that we’ll now be about two hours late”.
After that announcement, the Irish guy turns to the person sitting next to him and says:
”Well, I sure hope that third engine doesn’t go out. We’ll be up here all night”
Would this joke be less funny if the second word in it was ‘stupid’?
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer walks into a Bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, Ms could you please cash this cheque for me?"
Cashier:"It would be my pleasure. Could you please show me your ID?"
Solskjaer:"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Manager of Manchester United”.
Cashier: "Yes, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."
Solskjaer: Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."
Cashier: "I am sorry, Mr Solskjaer but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."
Solskjaer,"Come on please, I am urging you, please cash this cheque."
Cashier: "Look sir, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque."
"Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque. So, sir, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you?"
Solskjaer stands there thinking and thinking and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I don't have a clue."
Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes , Mr Solskjaer?”
An Irish guy is travelling on a plane when the pilot makes an announcement.
”Folks, we just had one engine go out, but don’t worry, this plane can fly just fine on two engines. All it means is that we’ll be about an hour late”
An hour later, the pilot gets on the intercom again.
”Folks, don’t get alarmed, but a second engine just went out, but please don’t worry. This plane is designed to fly safely on one engine. However, it’s likely that we’ll now be about two hours late”.
After that announcement, the Irish guy turns to the person sitting next to him and says:
”Well, I sure hope that third engine doesn’t go out. We’ll be up here all night”
Nothing like a bit of casual racism for getting a laugh.
Not casual racism AA, it’s cultural diversity. How do I know that? I have a fat book of weak jokes entitled More Adult Only Jokes published in 2003.
If anyone wants a joke under the heading:
A … walks into a bar Blondes Battle of the sexes Sanctity of marriage Signs collected by a flight attendant on her travels A plank short Business is business Signs you have had too much of modern life Believe it or not Cultural diversity Deserted islands Government Religion Schooldays Ten things not to say to your new girlfriend’s parents Viagra The innocence of kids Things not to say at a job interview Lawyers Law enforcement
Things you should never say to a cop Courtroom capers Making music 20 reasons why chocolate is better than sex On the farm Hunting and fishing What things on your resume really mean University life Doctors and nurses Why did the chicken cross the road Eating out Growing old gracefully Death and dying The Garden of Eden You know you’re having a bad day when … Pearly gates and down below Playing with balls (and other sports) Golf 101 things not to say during sex Laughing at disabilities Pets and other animals Hard drives and floppies Accountants and their ilk Funny newspaper heading Its all in the mind The banking sector Funny signs seen on Great Britain The military The moral of the story is … How many … does it take to change a lightbulb We wish you a merry Christmas Jail v work
A priest, an imam and a rabbit sit at a table in a café Waitress: gentlemen, what can I get for you? Priest: May I have a pot of tea, please? Imam: I would like a double espresso, thank you. Rabbit: I've no idea what's going on. I'm only here because of auto-correct.
Another thought. Aussies/Kiwis are often at each other’s throats, most of it in good humour. When I first came to NZ in the 1960s Ten Pound Poms were the butt of constant jokes and it wouldn’t have been in my best interests to be offended. Don’t get me on the subject of the laughable rugby teams sent out from the UK in those days, full of teachers and accountants, run over by the burly farmers of Southland and Canterbury.
I think it’s the intent of humour that’s important, not whether it’s racist, sexist or whatever.
Comments
It's not stroganoff.
Later sourced and made more well known by The Goons I believe.
In the early 60s, Stoke recruited a Scottish defender named George Kinnell. He'd played at the highest levels in Scotland but was an unknown in England. In one of his early games he overdid it with a tackle and the ref reached for his book, asking him for his number and name. And George replied "Four. Kinnell." Which almost got him sent off.
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer walks into a Bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, Ms could you please cash this cheque for me?"
Cashier:"It would be my pleasure. Could you please show me your ID?"
Solskjaer:"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Manager of Manchester United”.
Cashier: "Yes, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."
Solskjaer: Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."
Cashier: "I am sorry, Mr Solskjaer but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."
Solskjaer,"Come on please, I am urging you, please cash this cheque."
Cashier: "Look sir, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque."
"Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque. So, sir, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you?"
Solskjaer stands there thinking and thinking and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I don't have a clue."
Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes , Mr Solskjaer?”
If anyone wants a joke under the heading:
A … walks into a bar
Blondes
Battle of the sexes
Sanctity of marriage
Signs collected by a flight attendant on her travels
A plank short
Business is business
Signs you have had too much of modern life
Believe it or not
Cultural diversity
Deserted islands
Government
Religion
Schooldays
Ten things not to say to your new girlfriend’s parents
Viagra
The innocence of kids
Things not to say at a job interview
Lawyers
Law enforcement
Courtroom capers
Making music
20 reasons why chocolate is better than sex
On the farm
Hunting and fishing
What things on your resume really mean
University life
Doctors and nurses
Why did the chicken cross the road
Eating out
Growing old gracefully
Death and dying
The Garden of Eden
You know you’re having a bad day when …
Pearly gates and down below
Playing with balls (and other sports)
Golf
101 things not to say during sex
Laughing at disabilities
Pets and other animals
Hard drives and floppies
Accountants and their ilk
Funny newspaper heading
Its all in the mind
The banking sector
Funny signs seen on Great Britain
The military
The moral of the story is …
How many … does it take to change a lightbulb
We wish you a merry Christmas
Jail v work
….. you have only to ask 😅
Casual racism,
Waitress: gentlemen, what can I get for you?
Priest: May I have a pot of tea, please?
Imam: I would like a double espresso, thank you.
Rabbit: I've no idea what's going on. I'm only here because of auto-correct.
That's casual racism, incinuating all old, blind marines are misogynistic
Irish jokes have been around as long as I can remember and long before that no doubt.
I guess if you unpicked most of the jokes on here you’d find an ism of some sort.
But if I was that intense I wouldn’t be reading the thread.
Another thought. Aussies/Kiwis are often at each other’s throats, most of it in good humour. When I first came to NZ in the 1960s Ten Pound Poms were the butt of constant jokes and it wouldn’t have been in my best interests to be offended. Don’t get me on the subject of the laughable rugby teams sent out from the UK in those days, full of teachers and accountants, run over by the burly farmers of Southland and Canterbury.
I think it’s the intent of humour that’s important, not whether it’s racist, sexist or whatever.