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You win the £88 million jackpot...

24

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  • - Get our house finished
    - Stick £5m in some sort of bank account
    - Sort family and friends out (clear debts, pay off mortgages, hire hitmen for).
    _ Then give the rest to a couple of small charities, were'd I'd see it make a difference
  • Well, I’d just be happy to win enough for a downpayment on a mortgage (#millennial) :joy:

    But yeah, top quality care for nan, house for Mum, houses for both my sisters, house for my brother (but in my nephew’s name so my brother doesn’t fuck that up!). Money in a trust fund for said nephew. House in Spain, house in Italy and one in Scandinavia somewhere (Christmas card shit).

    Then I’d go back to uni and do degrees in computer engineering and history.

    Oh, and a mountain of drugs, pay for my best mate to have his dream wedding to his missus and then take all my mates on one hell of a stag for him.
  • PaddyP17 said:

    I have a big plan in place. It's boring, but oh well. Given lottery winners are tens or hundreds of times more likely to be murder victims; robbed; die of a drug overdose; be kidnapped; bankrupted; and so on - I've needed a cast-iron plan.

    These numbers, of course, aren't exact.

    1a. TELL NO-ONE. (At least, not immediately, despite the likely urge.)

    1b. Get on to Camelot. They know what to do. Insist on anonymity when they come round, and all that.

    1c. Hire a lawyer. Ideally a proper big nob lawyer, partner at a firm, that sort of thing.

    2. Still TELL NO-ONE. I'm not going public. I'm probably not telling family or friends yet, as much as is possible. I will "fall ill", or something.

    3a. Tell my lawyer I intend to give £15m of this jackpot to family and friends. This will NOT be in the form of a lump sum. I may, however, clear a few debts (student loans, mortgages, what have you).

    Trust funds going through stock indices and what have you shall be set up for my cousins; money shall go toward an annuity from which my brother can pull money out of/house deposit/that sort of thing, if he so wants; and for my parents and other relatives etc etc.

    Get lawyer/accountant to sort all that out. This leaves £73m.

    3b. I'll take £3m to myself "for the time being" (immediate expenses e.g. my lawyer, maybe an accountant, buying a property quickly so I can do all this in private). This leaves £70m.

    (Might have to do 3b immediately post-Camelot as part of step 1, but who knows)

    4. If possible, dump £15m in UK government bonds that should be paying at around 2-3% (or another govt, if possible). That should be a bona fide income of, hopefully, £300k-450k a year. That is rock solid money. If the UK stops paying on their government debt, then money is nowhere near our biggest worry. This leaves £55m.

    5. Be boring again and dump £30m into an index fund, with low fees. Hopefully said fund will pay out at around 4%. In 20 years, that £30m becomes £65m. Tidy. This leaves £25m.

    ------------

    So - I have now, hopefully, guaranteed myself an income of at least £300k a year unless the Bank of England is burning; provided for family and friends in a way they would never have imagined; and I have a huge pot in the form of an index fund that will keep growing at market rates.

    Life is good, so step 6:

    ------------

    6a. Donate perhaps £10m, if that, to charity. Likely contenders are Anthony Nolan, Alzheimers Research, and NSPCC.

    6b. Tell everyone I've won £8m* on the lottery, and do what I want! Buy a couple of houses here and abroad, go on holidays to wherever, party with mates, maybe invest in a couple of fun-looking startups, maybe even go back to university.

    (*£8m being roughly the sort of amount I reckon would set oneself up for life - I'd still have £7m left.)

    Sorted.

    No coke and whores?
  • How much does your lovely government take of £88M?
  • How much does your lovely government take of £88M?

    None as far as I know,
  • How much does your lovely government take of £88M?

    None as far as I know,
    Damn! Here you pay Federal Taxes. Say bye bye to 35% of it.
  • I've always wanted to buy a dog, preferably one of those German shepherd ones. ;)
  • Duct tape.
  • Sponsored links:


  • How much does your lovely government take of £88M?

    None as far as I know,
    Damn! Here you pay Federal Taxes. Say bye bye to 35% of it.
    Stupid rule. I'm sure that, is the competition is open to anyone and everyone, no tax is paid on the winnings, but nor doubt someone will be along shortly to put me right......
  • How much does your lovely government take of £88M?

    None as far as I know,
    Damn! Here you pay Federal Taxes. Say bye bye to 35% of it.
    The lottery pay the tax portion here I believe.
  • I’d pay for a week’s car parking in a UK seaside resort

    It's only £88m that your gonna win AFKA... Doubt you'd be able to afford that!!
  • Dazzler21 said:

    PaddyP17 said:

    I have a big plan in place. It's boring, but oh well. Given lottery winners are tens or hundreds of times more likely to be murder victims; robbed; die of a drug overdose; be kidnapped; bankrupted; and so on - I've needed a cast-iron plan.

    These numbers, of course, aren't exact.

    1a. TELL NO-ONE. (At least, not immediately, despite the likely urge.)

    1b. Get on to Camelot. They know what to do. Insist on anonymity when they come round, and all that.

    1c. Hire a lawyer. Ideally a proper big nob lawyer, partner at a firm, that sort of thing.

    2. Still TELL NO-ONE. I'm not going public. I'm probably not telling family or friends yet, as much as is possible. I will "fall ill", or something.

    3a. Tell my lawyer I intend to give £15m of this jackpot to family and friends. This will NOT be in the form of a lump sum. I may, however, clear a few debts (student loans, mortgages, what have you).

    Trust funds going through stock indices and what have you shall be set up for my cousins; money shall go toward an annuity from which my brother can pull money out of/house deposit/that sort of thing, if he so wants; and for my parents and other relatives etc etc.

    Get lawyer/accountant to sort all that out. This leaves £73m.

    3b. I'll take £3m to myself "for the time being" (immediate expenses e.g. my lawyer, maybe an accountant, buying a property quickly so I can do all this in private). This leaves £70m.

    (Might have to do 3b immediately post-Camelot as part of step 1, but who knows)

    4. If possible, dump £15m in UK government bonds that should be paying at around 2-3% (or another govt, if possible). That should be a bona fide income of, hopefully, £300k-450k a year. That is rock solid money. If the UK stops paying on their government debt, then money is nowhere near our biggest worry. This leaves £55m.

    5. Be boring again and dump £30m into an index fund, with low fees. Hopefully said fund will pay out at around 4%. In 20 years, that £30m becomes £65m. Tidy. This leaves £25m.

    ------------

    So - I have now, hopefully, guaranteed myself an income of at least £300k a year unless the Bank of England is burning; provided for family and friends in a way they would never have imagined; and I have a huge pot in the form of an index fund that will keep growing at market rates.

    Life is good, so step 6:

    ------------

    6a. Donate perhaps £10m, if that, to charity. Likely contenders are Anthony Nolan, Alzheimers Research, and NSPCC.

    6b. Tell everyone I've won £8m* on the lottery, and do what I want! Buy a couple of houses here and abroad, go on holidays to wherever, party with mates, maybe invest in a couple of fun-looking startups, maybe even go back to university.

    (*£8m being roughly the sort of amount I reckon would set oneself up for life - I'd still have £7m left.)

    Sorted.

    No coke and whores?
    Youngsters today eh Daz!
    No point in winning if you're not gonna snort n shag!
    Shocking !
  • How much does your lovely government take of £88M?

    You won’t pay tax on the winnings but I guarantee you pay heaps of tax on virtually everything you buy with the exception of baked beans and salad.
    On the plus side you’ll have enough money and it won’t be a problem.
  • If I won 88m I would tell friends and family I won the 1m raffle.

    Explains wealth without them expecting large cuts of my cash.
  • Greenie said:

    Dazzler21 said:

    PaddyP17 said:

    I have a big plan in place. It's boring, but oh well. Given lottery winners are tens or hundreds of times more likely to be murder victims; robbed; die of a drug overdose; be kidnapped; bankrupted; and so on - I've needed a cast-iron plan.

    These numbers, of course, aren't exact.

    1a. TELL NO-ONE. (At least, not immediately, despite the likely urge.)

    1b. Get on to Camelot. They know what to do. Insist on anonymity when they come round, and all that.

    1c. Hire a lawyer. Ideally a proper big nob lawyer, partner at a firm, that sort of thing.

    2. Still TELL NO-ONE. I'm not going public. I'm probably not telling family or friends yet, as much as is possible. I will "fall ill", or something.

    3a. Tell my lawyer I intend to give £15m of this jackpot to family and friends. This will NOT be in the form of a lump sum. I may, however, clear a few debts (student loans, mortgages, what have you).

    Trust funds going through stock indices and what have you shall be set up for my cousins; money shall go toward an annuity from which my brother can pull money out of/house deposit/that sort of thing, if he so wants; and for my parents and other relatives etc etc.

    Get lawyer/accountant to sort all that out. This leaves £73m.

    3b. I'll take £3m to myself "for the time being" (immediate expenses e.g. my lawyer, maybe an accountant, buying a property quickly so I can do all this in private). This leaves £70m.

    (Might have to do 3b immediately post-Camelot as part of step 1, but who knows)

    4. If possible, dump £15m in UK government bonds that should be paying at around 2-3% (or another govt, if possible). That should be a bona fide income of, hopefully, £300k-450k a year. That is rock solid money. If the UK stops paying on their government debt, then money is nowhere near our biggest worry. This leaves £55m.

    5. Be boring again and dump £30m into an index fund, with low fees. Hopefully said fund will pay out at around 4%. In 20 years, that £30m becomes £65m. Tidy. This leaves £25m.

    ------------

    So - I have now, hopefully, guaranteed myself an income of at least £300k a year unless the Bank of England is burning; provided for family and friends in a way they would never have imagined; and I have a huge pot in the form of an index fund that will keep growing at market rates.

    Life is good, so step 6:

    ------------

    6a. Donate perhaps £10m, if that, to charity. Likely contenders are Anthony Nolan, Alzheimers Research, and NSPCC.

    6b. Tell everyone I've won £8m* on the lottery, and do what I want! Buy a couple of houses here and abroad, go on holidays to wherever, party with mates, maybe invest in a couple of fun-looking startups, maybe even go back to university.

    (*£8m being roughly the sort of amount I reckon would set oneself up for life - I'd still have £7m left.)

    Sorted.

    No coke and whores?
    Youngsters today eh Daz!
    No point in winning if you're not gonna snort n shag!
    Shocking !
    Just kidding, I don't use drugs.
  • Sponsored links:


  • PaddyP17 said:

    I have a big plan in place. It's boring, but oh well. Given lottery winners are tens or hundreds of times more likely to be murder victims; robbed; die of a drug overdose; be kidnapped; bankrupted; and so on - I've needed a cast-iron plan.

    These numbers, of course, aren't exact.

    1a. TELL NO-ONE. (At least, not immediately, despite the likely urge.)

    1b. Get on to Camelot. They know what to do. Insist on anonymity when they come round, and all that.

    1c. Hire a lawyer. Ideally a proper big nob lawyer, partner at a firm, that sort of thing.

    2. Still TELL NO-ONE. I'm not going public. I'm probably not telling family or friends yet, as much as is possible. I will "fall ill", or something.

    3a. Tell my lawyer I intend to give £15m of this jackpot to family and friends. This will NOT be in the form of a lump sum. I may, however, clear a few debts (student loans, mortgages, what have you).

    Trust funds going through stock indices and what have you shall be set up for my cousins; money shall go toward an annuity from which my brother can pull money out of/house deposit/that sort of thing, if he so wants; and for my parents and other relatives etc etc.

    Get lawyer/accountant to sort all that out. This leaves £73m.

    3b. I'll take £3m to myself "for the time being" (immediate expenses e.g. my lawyer, maybe an accountant, buying a property quickly so I can do all this in private). This leaves £70m.

    (Might have to do 3b immediately post-Camelot as part of step 1, but who knows)

    4. If possible, dump £15m in UK government bonds that should be paying at around 2-3% (or another govt, if possible). That should be a bona fide income of, hopefully, £300k-450k a year. That is rock solid money. If the UK stops paying on their government debt, then money is nowhere near our biggest worry. This leaves £55m.

    5. Be boring again and dump £30m into an index fund, with low fees. Hopefully said fund will pay out at around 4%. In 20 years, that £30m becomes £65m. Tidy. This leaves £25m.

    ------------

    So - I have now, hopefully, guaranteed myself an income of at least £300k a year unless the Bank of England is burning; provided for family and friends in a way they would never have imagined; and I have a huge pot in the form of an index fund that will keep growing at market rates.

    Life is good, so step 6:

    ------------

    6a. Donate perhaps £10m, if that, to charity. Likely contenders are Anthony Nolan, Alzheimers Research, and NSPCC.

    6b. Tell everyone I've won £8m* on the lottery, and do what I want! Buy a couple of houses here and abroad, go on holidays to wherever, party with mates, maybe invest in a couple of fun-looking startups, maybe even go back to university.

    (*£8m being roughly the sort of amount I reckon would set oneself up for life - I'd still have £7m left.)

    Sorted.

    At 3a, one of your cousins sells your story to The Scum for £3k (you know which one it would be), you’re kidnapped, taken to a favela in Abbey Wood, stripped and force fed pot noodle until you cough up the key to your safety deposit box, all because you didn’t force your family into signing NDA’s and behaviour agreements......
  • bobmunro said:

    I would just buy a new set of golf clubs - I'm easily pleased.

    Maybe Carnoustie, Royal Lytham & St Annes, Turnberry, Wentworth and Pebble Beach.

    Surely first port of call should be forking out to get proper broadband installed at your place? Admittedly that'd probably cost you as much as buying a golf club, particularly if BT are involved.
  • I'm gonna give £1M to each of the first 87 of you lot that buys me a beer!
  • Fumbluff said:

    PaddyP17 said:

    I have a big plan in place. It's boring, but oh well. Given lottery winners are tens or hundreds of times more likely to be murder victims; robbed; die of a drug overdose; be kidnapped; bankrupted; and so on - I've needed a cast-iron plan.

    These numbers, of course, aren't exact.

    1a. TELL NO-ONE. (At least, not immediately, despite the likely urge.)

    1b. Get on to Camelot. They know what to do. Insist on anonymity when they come round, and all that.

    1c. Hire a lawyer. Ideally a proper big nob lawyer, partner at a firm, that sort of thing.

    2. Still TELL NO-ONE. I'm not going public. I'm probably not telling family or friends yet, as much as is possible. I will "fall ill", or something.

    3a. Tell my lawyer I intend to give £15m of this jackpot to family and friends. This will NOT be in the form of a lump sum. I may, however, clear a few debts (student loans, mortgages, what have you).

    Trust funds going through stock indices and what have you shall be set up for my cousins; money shall go toward an annuity from which my brother can pull money out of/house deposit/that sort of thing, if he so wants; and for my parents and other relatives etc etc.

    Get lawyer/accountant to sort all that out. This leaves £73m.

    3b. I'll take £3m to myself "for the time being" (immediate expenses e.g. my lawyer, maybe an accountant, buying a property quickly so I can do all this in private). This leaves £70m.

    (Might have to do 3b immediately post-Camelot as part of step 1, but who knows)

    4. If possible, dump £15m in UK government bonds that should be paying at around 2-3% (or another govt, if possible). That should be a bona fide income of, hopefully, £300k-450k a year. That is rock solid money. If the UK stops paying on their government debt, then money is nowhere near our biggest worry. This leaves £55m.

    5. Be boring again and dump £30m into an index fund, with low fees. Hopefully said fund will pay out at around 4%. In 20 years, that £30m becomes £65m. Tidy. This leaves £25m.

    ------------

    So - I have now, hopefully, guaranteed myself an income of at least £300k a year unless the Bank of England is burning; provided for family and friends in a way they would never have imagined; and I have a huge pot in the form of an index fund that will keep growing at market rates.

    Life is good, so step 6:

    ------------

    6a. Donate perhaps £10m, if that, to charity. Likely contenders are Anthony Nolan, Alzheimers Research, and NSPCC.

    6b. Tell everyone I've won £8m* on the lottery, and do what I want! Buy a couple of houses here and abroad, go on holidays to wherever, party with mates, maybe invest in a couple of fun-looking startups, maybe even go back to university.

    (*£8m being roughly the sort of amount I reckon would set oneself up for life - I'd still have £7m left.)

    Sorted.

    At 3a, one of your cousins sells your story to The Scum for £3k (you know which one it would be), you’re kidnapped, taken to a favela in Abbey Wood, stripped and force fed pot noodle until you cough up the key to your safety deposit box, all because you didn’t force your family into signing NDA’s and behaviour agreements......
    Little do they know...

    image
  • I'm gonna give £1M to each of the first 87 of you lot that buys me a beer!

    How about if I buy you 87 beers
  • I’d blow the vast majority of it on animals.

    That is a very disrespectful way to talk about whores.
  • Dazzler21 said:

    How much does your lovely government take of £88M?

    None as far as I know,
    Damn! Here you pay Federal Taxes. Say bye bye to 35% of it.
    The lottery pay the tax portion here I believe.
    I guess the offsetting caveat is that we have two lotteries and each routinely get to $200-600M.
  • Pay off my debts, buy a new car and have a few good holidays.

    And then what would you do with the remaining £87,850,000?
  • Greenie said:

    Coke n Tarts.

    Would that be Diet Coke Greenie........and what kind of tarts, apple and blackberry, or mince...........Bakewell would go down well with me?
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