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The weird stories thread

Describing strange things that have happened. The purpose of this thread.

I have one. Weirder things have happened but this just sort of stands out for some reason.

"Weird" I find the word to not really be a solid reliable one as not all people think alike. What might be considered weird to one person from a different country, might just be the norm to someone else. Obviously.

It was Christmas time ish 2015.

Was in Canada looking for a place to live as I wanted to move out from where I was staying at that time.

I used a website called kijiji to find a room I could rent.

I rang a woman up who had a place advertised. It looked quite nice and was relatively affordable. Judging by the sound of her voice, she sounded more like an elderly person. Sounded genuine though.

The day arrived for me to view the place.

As I was getting close to walking on the road I could potentially end up living within, a rather eerie feeling crept it. I thought it was just nerves. It was, but was also a scenic area that reminded me of the film Texas chainsaw massacre. It was horrible.
Nerves, I kept reminding myself.

The road of houses actually overlooked a lake. A freshwater beach.

The atmosphere of the surrounding area was dreadful. Scary. Nerves I kept saying.

Anyway. I got there, knocked on the door.

Before i knew it, a family of freaks in the most smelly small uncomfortable cramped house were all interrogating me asking about what kind of a person I am. Very aggressively.

It's hard to describe... I can handle myself but I was trembling and trying to contain my true thoughts. Already I knew I wasn't going to live there and i straight away just wanted to leave.
It was also in the middle of nowhere.

All the members of this family were rather old. I think the youngest might have been 40 odd. Perhaps.

It was almost like a random collection of people. The interior design of this place was awful. The kitchen actually looked more like a cupboard.

So, the woman that i spoke to on the phone, her even older and rather fat sister, who was also wearing a bandana, (maybe she was ill wont hold that against her) took me upstairs to show me where I would be sleeping and possibly living.

We would be sharing the same living space. Was a living room upstairs and our bedrooms were directly opposite each other. The walls were thin.

A white anorexic cat also occupied this living space.

This woman made it clear to me that the cat was a well respected senior figure of this family and that I would need to get its approval over time.I would be welcomed but would be officially beneath the importance of a cat. That was just an impression I got. She didn't actually say that....

By this time I'm looking forward to leaving. I was just polite being nice.... seeing it out.

She then sat me down and said "David" (said my name in a way that you would if you've known someone for years)

She put her hand on my knee, briefly, not sexually.

"David there's something you should know, sometimes I like to er I have people up here and I .......entertain men"

There was a little silence. I was sort of inbetween looking at the floor and looking at her foot at this point.

I just said OK yeh being social and stuff, that's nice. Then I looked away.

She just said "well you know noise and stuff. Your going to hear. You need to be alright with the er company"

That conversation was pushed along by myself and I was using a manor to nicely suggest OK I've seen everything now, let me go home and think about it.

I was then stopped.

Oh you haven't seen the lake yet. My nephew will show you.

"Brendan" took me outside to the lake where he then proceeded to tell me his life story within 5mins, all the really crappie things that have happened to him and got a little emotional in the short space of time we was looking at the view.
Nothing against that. It's just a random thing where you don't quite know how to react to someone being that open with someone they've only just met. Instant trust. Too much.

"Sometimes I just come out here look at the stars and think about life"

There was a slience while he was looking into the distance....perhaps with a growing tear in his eye.

OK....I said. Thanks.

I then abruptly said cheers and goodbye. The woman waved at me through the window...indication of a belief that I'd be moving in.

I then sort of started jogging.

Got far away as possible.


Weirder things have happened but I'd be interested to read stories where lifers want to share things that could either be considered weird or interesting.

A really good "what the f*ck was that all about" story.

Over to you.

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Comments

  • I got to the bit where the fat, older, bandana wearing sister led him upstairs and reluctantly read on peering through my hands as though watching a terrifying scene from a horror film.
    Lucky escape.
  • Would ya though?
  • One of the occupants wasn't called Nick by any chance?
  • Pretty sure the old lady was coming on to you, a chance wasted.
  • se9addick said:

    Pretty sure the old lady was coming on to you, a chance wasted.

    But he obviously only had eyes for the sister as he remembers her figure and attire.
  • I heard a story about a man who bought an historic South London football club and installed a fool as CEO and....oh forget it. You know the rest.
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  • A really good "what the f*ck was that all about" story.
    I had one grandad who supported Charlton and one that supported Man City... And I am a Charlton fan. Often wonder what the f*ck that is all about if that counts?


    Wow... Michael Slater looked rather young to be a Grandad?
  • sam3110 said:

    OACHELLA VIP WEEKEND 1 PASS: free for the right person
    Ok here’s the deal. I have a VIP Pass for Weekend 2. I’m willing to give it away for free to the right person. I’m looking for a travel “companion” that can enjoy the festival with me and just have a good time. I left my job as Supervising Manager at Soup Plantation and subsequently divorced my wife of 11 years. I cashed out my 401k and decided that moving forward, my life is all about having fun! No more team meetings, no more employee evaluations, no more balance sheets, no more darn conference calls at 7am. JUST FUN! I have a room at the Tropics Motor Motel in Indio Thursday through Monday. If you believe you can meet the below criteria, please shoot me an email and describe why you think you make the best fit. I appreciate your time and look forward to finding the right “one”!

    1. Must be female between the ages of 19 and 25
    2. Must be comfortable traveling in a Recreational Vehicle (Vintage Shasta Chinook 3100 – pic attached).
    3. Must have fashionable sense of style in the vein of typical coachella goer (i.e. cute indian headband, small ripped jean shorts, lots of colorful bracelets, etc).
    4. Preferably have a playlist of various Coachella artists on phone we can listen to on ride over.
    5. Must keep hands and feet moisturized at all times.
    6. Must be open-minded and opportunistic.
    7. Must be ok with periodic hand-holding (perhaps during certain sensual songs and while walking into the festival initially).
    8. Fingernails and Toenails must be nicely painted and harmonious with general color scheme of outfit.
    9. I will provide snacks such as beef jerky and peanut butter sandwiches but if you have additional snacks and/or drinks…BIG BONUS!
    10. Being social is fine but no excessive fraternizing with other male festival-goers, and most definitely NO PUBLIC AFFECTION with other festival-goers (violation of this rule results in immediate removal of Tropic Motor Motel room privileges and maybe even return ride).
    11. Periodic moments of extended eye contact.
    12. Allow me to brush your hair once per day (not mandatory, but encouraged).
    13. Must not be into drugs, pot ok.
    14. Must take a minimum of four photos of us together and post them to your Instigram account.
    15. Any personal grooming such as toenail clipping, eyebrow plucking or lipstick application must be done in my presence.
    16. At least once during festival, you must allow me to carry you on my shoulders so you can see stage better (perfect time for instigram photo!)
    17. At least twice during the festival you must tell me in a playful manner that “I am naughty”.
    18. At some point in time during the festival you must tell me that “you didn’t know how this would go, but you’re actually having a really good time”.
    19. At least once during our stay after your shower, you must use the steam to write a cute message on the bathroom mirror for me to find later when I shower.
    20. Must be ready to party and HAVE FUN!

    This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and as mentioned, an all expenses paid trip. If you think you’re the one, let me know and we can have a great time together. My name is Gordon and I am 56 years old from West Covina.

    Best,

    Gordie

    Get many replies?
    haha i havent followed the news story but the bit that got me was 7. Must be ok with periodic hand-holding (perhaps during certain sensual songs and while walking into the festival initially).
  • maybe theres a different thread for odd dreams but i had a very amusing one the other day ... i was looking at a map of kent where every place name had been changed to have a smutty connotation ...eg bromley had been changed to shitville ,tenterden to vaginaden ,pluckley to flapton and so forth ...i actually woke up laughing

    i must nt eat protein after 9 pm in the future
  • lolwray said:

    maybe theres a different thread for odd dreams but i had a very amusing one the other day ... i was looking at a map of kent where every place name had been changed to have a smutty connotation ...eg bromley had been changed to shitville ,tenterden to vaginaden ,pluckley to flapton and so forth ...i actually woke up laughing

    i must nt eat protein after 9 pm in the future

    DaveMehmet, is that you?
  • Sounds like Hilary is more partial to LSD than SLI
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  • Elvis has attended his own 82nd birthday party at Graceland apparently.
  • I might have been over-egging the pudding when I said she was 'cold'. She wasn't THAT fucking cold. even I'm not stupid enough not to realise the difference between an actual dead person and someone who is pretending to be dead... :smiley:

    Could have been an awkward situation if she'd text you saying she was too tired and didnt want do the deed (a text that you then didnt receive for some reason) - That could have got you in hot water...
  • Very first line:

    'Not sure if I have put this on here before'.

    I think you would remember. If you really can't remember then someone else will because that sort of thing is not easily forgotten.
  • This thread is gonna run and run!
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