I went on a date when I was 17 with a girl from work. Ended up in the Eltham Pizza Hut and she started getting upset because she thought another girl at work fancied me and ended up breaking down and hyper venterlating. The other diners were looking at me obviously thinking it was my fault and that I was a shit.
I met a really good looking local girl in a bar whilst on holiday in Zuric. One thing lead to another and she invited me back to her house for a nightcap. We walked for miles to her apartment and when we got inside there was a bloke inside watching tv. I assumed it was her flatmate but no, it was her boyfriend.
I made out like I had dropped something on the way there and made my exit, not to return, weirdos.
Had a blind date with a girl called Suze after being set up by a mutual friend.
Been married for two years but still seems weird!
On said first date we went on a pub crawl around Borough and in a crowded boozer a mouse came onto the dance floor did a little spin around on its toes then buggered off again. Yes we were drunk but it definitely happened, how it didn't get trodden on I'll never know
I met a really good looking local girl in a bar whilst on holiday in Zuric. One thing lead to another and she invited me back to her house for a nightcap. We walked for miles to her apartment and when we got inside there was a bloke inside watching tv. I assumed it was her flatmate but no, it was her boyfriend.
I made out like I had dropped something on the way there and made my exit, not to return, weirdos.
Not weird really, but I'd just passed my driving test and had brought a Triumph Herald off a mate for £40 (yes, I know I'm getting old!). Anyway, this car had a sliding sunroof. It had been raining all day but had stopped when I picked this girl up for our first date and it was dark.
On the way to the cinema, she started squirming a bit in the passenger seat, we got there and parked up and she got out with a very large wet patch on her arse, it turned out my so called mate forgot to tell me that there was a leak from the sun roof! To be fair to her she sat through the film, needless to say a second date didn't happen of course!
I went on a date when I was 17 with a girl from work. Ended up in the Eltham Pizza Hut and she started getting upset because she thought another girl at work fancied me and ended up breaking down and hyper venterlating. The other diners were looking at me obviously thinking it was my fault and that I was a shit.
It was probably the fact that you took her to Pizza Hut on a date
Not really a date, but was the first night I met her....got hammered in Bromley the week before Xmas, met a very classy lady in Jazzmin's who within 10mins decided I was going home with her. Didn't argue, as we were walking home, she said she was going into an allnight garage to get a bottle of water and to wait for her. Watched her go and she didn't go in the shop, in drunken curiosity I followed her and found her squatting behind a wall having a piss. She looked up, laughed and said "don't worry I'll have a shower when we get back" The moment passed and I turned on my heels to the sound of multiple swear words and the classic "its not like I'm having a shit"
Not a date, but some years ago, I was at the Christmas works party.
It was getting late, we were pretty drunk & I was dancing with the "average" looking office junior, who out of the blue tells me that she loves me.
I thought wtf & burst out laughing. I didn't meant to be cruel, but was totally gobsmacked.
15 minutes later in the middle of the dance floor her best mate comes up to me & slaps me round the chops really hard & screams something like, "that's for being so horrible to my mate".
The whole party stops & everyone's giving me evils.
Having just broken up with a long term girlfriend, I went to a house party where I got totally trollied. Nonetheless i was trying my best to impress a quite attractive girl. Despite my drunkeness, she stayed in my company!! However, when I let slip an uncontrollable silent fart that stunk like a sewage works on a hot day the budding romance was over...................
Pulled a lovely looking girl in Bexleyheath in 2000. Got absolutely steaming and went back to hers. Fell asleep almost as soon as I walked through the door. Legged it as soon as I woke up due to going Liverpool away. A week later we met up again after the 3-3 with Man United. After a long day on the beer it ended in the same result, Me asleep as soon as I walk in! We never went any further. Charlton ruin everything!
Dated this girl, took her to Wimpy Bexleyheath - the menu was surprising good and she paid.
I had a thick beard back then and the conversation lead on to body hair... She randomly opened flies in her jeans to prove how hairy she was and 'how long' it had been since she 'had any'
Dated this girl, took her to Wimpy Bexleyheath - the menu was surprising good and she paid.
I had a thick beard back then and the conversation lead on to body hair... She randomly opened flies in her jeans to prove how hairy she was and 'how long' it had been since she 'had any'
Married her 4 years later.
So a girl was willing to whip out her minge mohican in a wimpy at a moment's notice, and you decided to marry that girl?
Dated this girl, took her to Wimpy Bexleyheath - the menu was surprising good and she paid.
I had a thick beard back then and the conversation lead on to body hair... She randomly opened flies in her jeans to prove how hairy she was and 'how long' it had been since she 'had any'
Married her 4 years later.
So a girl was willing to whip out her minge mohican in a wimpy at a moment's notice, and you decided to marry that girl?
I met a girl in a club in Plymouth (so not really a proper first date!) When I was 18. Went back to her's and got down to business. She was panting loudly and gasping and I was thinking "yeah. She's loving this!" Suddenly she escaped from under me and took a big drag on an asthma inhaler that was in the bedside table. She'd almost died from an asthma attack. Afterwards she said "Do you mind if we stop?". I don't think I could have carried on anyway.
Dated this girl, took her to Wimpy Bexleyheath - the menu was surprising good and she paid.
I had a thick beard back then and the conversation lead on to body hair... She randomly opened flies in her jeans to prove how hairy she was and 'how long' it had been since she 'had any'
Married her 4 years later.
I thought you were going to say she had a bender in a bun.
Not weird really, but I'd just passed my driving test and had brought a Triumph Herald off a mate for £40 (yes, I know I'm getting old!). Anyway, this car had a sliding sunroof. It had been raining all day but had stopped when I picked this girl up for our first date and it was dark.
On the way to the cinema, she started squirming a bit in the passenger seat, we got there and parked up and she got out with a very large wet patch on her arse, it turned out my so called mate forgot to tell me that there was a leak from the sun roof! To be fair to her she sat through the film, needless to say a second date didn't happen of course!
Dated this girl, took her to Wimpy Bexleyheath - the menu was surprising good and she paid.
I had a thick beard back then and the conversation lead on to body hair... She randomly opened flies in her jeans to prove how hairy she was and 'how long' it had been since she 'had any'
Not weird really, but I'd just passed my driving test and had brought a Triumph Herald off a mate for £40 (yes, I know I'm getting old!). Anyway, this car had a sliding sunroof. It had been raining all day but had stopped when I picked this girl up for our first date and it was dark.
On the way to the cinema, she started squirming a bit in the passenger seat, we got there and parked up and she got out with a very large wet patch on her arse, it turned out my so called mate forgot to tell me that there was a leak from the sun roof! To be fair to her she sat through the film, needless to say a second date didn't happen of course!
Not weird really, but I'd just passed my driving test and had brought a Triumph Herald off a mate for £40 (yes, I know I'm getting old!). Anyway, this car had a sliding sunroof. It had been raining all day but had stopped when I picked this girl up for our first date and it was dark.
On the way to the cinema, she started squirming a bit in the passenger seat, we got there and parked up and she got out with a very large wet patch on her arse, it turned out my so called mate forgot to tell me that there was a leak from the sun roof! To be fair to her she sat through the film, needless to say a second date didn't happen of course!
I met a girl in a club in Plymouth (so not really a proper first date!) When I was 18. Went back to her's and got down to business. She was panting loudly and gasping and I was thinking "yeah. She's loving this!" Suddenly she escaped from under me and took a big drag on an asthma inhaler that was in the bedside table. She'd almost died from an asthma attack. Afterwards she said "Do you mind if we stop?". I don't think I could have carried on anyway.
I reckon if you meet 'nick nick' down at The Valley tell him this story and he'd make a blinding joke with it.
Met a girl at a pub in New York City. Had one drink and the next thing I remember I am waking up by myself at the bus station in Hartford Connecticut with a sore arm. I had apparently got a tattoo which said "oh my". I don't remember a minute of the night after the first drink. Cost me a pretty penny to get tattoo "removed" a few years later.
Comments
I made out like I had dropped something on the way there and made my exit, not to return, weirdos.
Been married for two years but still seems weird!
On said first date we went on a pub crawl around Borough and in a crowded boozer a mouse came onto the dance floor did a little spin around on its toes then buggered off again. Yes we were drunk but it definitely happened, how it didn't get trodden on I'll never know
Didn't eat there.
...Right?"
On the way to the cinema, she started squirming a bit in the passenger seat, we got there and parked up and she got out with a very large wet patch on her arse, it turned out my so called mate forgot to tell me that there was a leak from the sun roof! To be fair to her she sat through the film, needless to say a second date didn't happen of course!
It was getting late, we were pretty drunk & I was dancing with the "average" looking office junior, who out of the blue tells me that she loves me.
I thought wtf & burst out laughing. I didn't meant to be cruel, but was totally gobsmacked.
15 minutes later in the middle of the dance floor her best mate comes up to me & slaps me round the chops really hard & screams something like, "that's for being so horrible to my mate".
The whole party stops & everyone's giving me evils.
@kin 'ell, I hadn't done anything !
Her purse must have more dust on it than the pen Charlton use to sign players.
However, when I let slip an uncontrollable silent fart that stunk like a sewage works on a hot day the budding romance was over...................
I had a thick beard back then and the conversation lead on to body hair...
She randomly opened flies in her jeans to prove how hairy she was and 'how long' it had been since she 'had any'
Married her 4 years later.
Fair play
Suddenly she escaped from under me and took a big drag on an asthma inhaler that was in the bedside table. She'd almost died from an asthma attack.
Afterwards she said "Do you mind if we stop?".
I don't think I could have carried on anyway.
Some things I'd do, but shit, wouldn't do that. So made an excuse that I had to go. She was BLOCKED