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More handbag tales: what are these?

razilrazil
edited June 2015 in Fun, Jokes & Captions
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    suzisausagesuzisausage
    I can never find one when I need one.
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    Brendan_O_ConnellBrendan_O_Connell
    My house is full of these f**king things. I'm always walking on them especially when I have no shoes on. Right f***s me off, it does!
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    CharltonparklaneCharltonparklane
    If my missus asks, 'have you seen a hairclip'
    I reply
    'Shut your eyes, put the palm of your hand on the floor, and just move it around and Ill fckin assure you you will find one'
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    CharltonparklaneCharltonparklane
    These wind me up so much, Im annoyed at myself that I didn't put it in the things that annoy uou thread
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    guinnessaddickguinnessaddick
    They are in competition with red elastic bands which the postman leave about.
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    RivieraRiviera
    Very popular in 1960's spy films, could open any lock.
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    bobmunrobobmunro
    I suppose one of the consequences of an ageing fanbase is that grumpy old men are everywhere!

    The hairclips in my house are all covered in sparkly bling so easy to avoid treading on. I'm chilled!

    Stay cool, won't you? ;-)
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    nth_london_addicknth_london_addick
    They are pucker for getting that really itchy inner ear,
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    bobmunrobobmunro
    nth london addick said:

    They are pucker for getting that really itchy inner ear,

    Definitely - just as long as you remember to use the closed end!!
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    smiffyboysmiffyboy
    nth london addick said:

    They are pucker for getting that really itchy inner ear,

    Fella at work had that problem so he used a bic biro, few days later was struggling to hear from that ear, so went to the doctors about it after looking in his ear got some tweezers and pulled out the blue tip at the top of the pen that had come off when he pushed it in.
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    Brendan_O_ConnellBrendan_O_Connell
    smiffyboy said:

    nth london addick said:

    They are pucker for getting that really itchy inner ear,

    Fella at work had that problem so he used a bic biro, few days later was struggling to hear from that ear, so went to the doctors about it after looking in his ear got some tweezers and pulled out the blue tip at the top of the pen that had come off when he pushed it in.
    I had a similar experience with an extra large Sharpie. It wasn't my ear that the end got stuck in though..........
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    guinnessaddickguinnessaddick
    I had a strawberry stuck in my ear, went to the doctors, he gave me some cream for it.
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    bobmunrobobmunro
    I had custard, cream, jelly and fruit in my ear once and went to the doctor complaining of being a trifle deaf.

    (ok, ok - but @MrOneLung started it!)
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    razilrazil
    Another serious thread trivialised by bad jokes




    ;)
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    CHGCHG
    I cleaned my washing machine out the other day, there were about 20 of these things.......
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    bobmunrobobmunro
    CHG said:

    I cleaned my washing machine out the other day, there were about 20 of these things.......

    I don't think you're supposed to wash you hair in a washing machine - some health and safety reason apparently.
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    Greenie JuniorGreenie Junior
    MrOneLung said:

    I had a peanut stuck in my ear once.

    went to A&E and they poured melted chocolate into the ear.

    It came out a treat.

    How long have you been waiting to use that one
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    Phantom_UserPhantom_User
    since before M&Ms is my guess ;)
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    PL54PL54
    MrOneLung said:

    I had a peanut stuck in my ear once.

    went to A&E and they poured melted chocolate into the ear.

    It came out a treat.

    That doesn't sound like a Picnic
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    Phantom_UserPhantom_User
    and slightly off topic
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    To_Be_FranckTo_Be_Franck
    razil said:

    Another serious thread trivialised by bad jokes




    ;)

    Razil has obviously got his snickers in a twist
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    ShootersHillGuruShootersHillGuru
    No idea why but just made me think of him.
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    guinnessaddickguinnessaddick
    Greenie Junior said:

    MrOneLung said:

    I had a peanut stuck in my ear once.

    went to A&E and they poured melted chocolate into the ear.

    It came out a treat.

    How long have you been waiting to use that one
    I bet mronelung is at home reveling in how he introduced that joke into this thread.
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    MrOneLungMrOneLung
    Forgot I posted that joke.

    Credit goes to DaddyOneLung circa 1982
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