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Sunday Morning Headlines - They're Back!!

WSSWSS
edited August 2007 in Fun, Jokes & Captions
ADKINS THROWS A PADDY

Scunthorpe manager Neil Adkins was infuriated that Charlton centre back Paddy McCarthy was not sent off in the first 30 seconds of their first game in the Coca Cola Championship as The Iron eventually went down 3-0 at The Valley with McCarthy ironically getting the final goal. Marcus Bent got Charlton's other two goals.

Comments

  • edited August 2007
    A Moo to a kill

    New signing Yassin Moutaouakil rounded off an impressive return to the Championship for Pardew's Charlton Athletic with a resounding 5-0 victory over newly promoted Iron, despite Marcus Bent having missing 3 open goals and 2 one on ones in the 1st 10mins and generally not being able to hit a cows arse with a banjo.
  • edited August 2007
    REID GOES ON ADKINS DIET

    Rotund Charlton midfielder Andy Reid welcomed the Iron to the Championship with a bang yesterday as he scored one goal and set up another for new boy Chris Dickson in Charlton's comfortable 4-1 victory....
  • edited August 2007
    Izzy Gets Busy in the Fizzy

    Izale McLeod helped himself to a brace as Charlton started life in the Coca Cola Championship with a resounding 4-0 thumping of outclassed Scunthorpe Utd at The Valley.
  • SEME D'OH

    New Charlton midfielder Semedo scored a last minute own goal to deny Charlton a win over Scunthorpe as the match ended 1-1. Marcus Bent had put Charlton into an early lead scoring from 25 yards with just 5 minutes gone on the clock.
  • Toddy Off to a flyer

    A goal in the first minute from Svetlav Todorov .......
  • Not Reid-ing Between the Lines

    Charlton's Andy Reid is considering whether or not to sue the Metropolitian Police, after he was wrongly arrested after their game against Scunthorpe. Reid was arrested for being in possession of a white powder, however this was later found to be salt which Reid admitted to using in high doses on his post-match pie and chips.
  • edited August 2007
    AL DISGRACE AS REF NOT PARD OF HEARING
    by Seth Winklebottom
    Scunthorpe Times

    Alan Pardew t'is expected to face a lengthy spell on terraces, as the Chorlton manager was not just sent off, but later arrested for foul and abusive languange, coupled with theatening violence. A reet ding-dong in the 64th minute sparked trouble. In the violence that followed, Darren Ambrose was alleged to have lost two fingernails, but fortunately they were of the sticky variety.
    Following the incident, Pardew was repeatedly seen screaming 'DO THE C***T'. In his defence, t'Charlton manager said he was merely urging his team to victory, and the alleged vitreol was purely an abbreviation of the opposition name. Such obscenities are clearly not wanted in football, and everyone here at T'Scunthorpe Times hope the authorites deal efficiently with the flash, smarmy, cockney w*nker.

    In game, Iron lost 12-0.
  • [cite]Posted By: AFKA Bartram[/cite]AL DISGRACE AS REF NOT PARD OF HEARING
    by Seth Winklebottom
    Scunthorpe Times

    Alan Pardew t'is expected to face a lengthy spell on terraces, as the Chorlton manager was not just sent off, but later arrested for foul and abusive languange, coupled with theatening violence. A reet ding-dong in the 64th minute sparked trouble. In the violence that followed, Darren Ambrose was alleged to have lost two fingernails, but fortunately they were of the sticky variety.
    Following the incident, Pardew was repeatedly seen screaming 'DO THE C***T'. In his defence, t'Charlton manager said he was merely urging his team to victory, and the alleged vitreol was purely an abbreviation of the opposition name. Such obscenities are clearly not wanted in football, and everyone here at T'Scunthorpe Times hope the authorites deal efficiently with the flash, smarmy, cockney w*nker.

    In game, Iron lost 12-0.

    AFKA comes up with comedy gold every so often :-)
  • edited August 2007
    God another brown noser!!! ;-)
  • [cite]Posted By: Charlton Dan[/cite]God another brown noser!!! ;-)

    Hey, just trying to get with the clique :-)
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  • You put your right hoof in...your right hoof out

    You hear some cows a mooing as they sing and they shout

    We might be from the south of London but we aint got foot and mouth

    Cos Moo- to-kill is all about
  • [cite]Posted By: Solidgone[/cite]You put your right hoof in...your right hoof out

    You hear some cows a mooing as they sing and they shout

    We might be from the south of London but we aint got foot and mouth

    Cos Moo- to-kill is all about
    that is abolutely superb.

    AFKA - make this song a sticky!!!
  • Scunthorpe game called off after female fan riot

    The Charlton Vs Scunthorpe game was called off after only 12 minutes yesterday after a crowd surge of predominantly female fans crashed their way into the North Stand. It was not known what caused the sudden onrush as most of the women were reduced to babbling wrecks. A spokesperson for the club stated: "We have seen a massive upsurge in female attendances at our matches over the past few years. A majority request specifically to sit in the West Stand so why they suddenly wanted to get to the North Stand is a puzzle." The epicentre of the incident appeared to a 24 year old male, who was taken to hospital. The unnamed man recently failed an audition for TV's "The Apprentice". The police press officer was unable to comment as she fainted whilst questioning the victim.
  • ha ha ha, you plum!
  • [cite]Posted By: Sco[/cite]Scunthorpe game called off after female fan riot

    The Charlton Vs Scunthorpe game was called off after only 12 minutes yesterday after a crowd surge of predominantly female fans crashed their way into the North Stand. It was not known what caused the sudden onrush as most of the women were reduced to babbling wrecks. A spokesperson for the club stated: "We have seen a massive upsurge in female attendances at our matches over the past few years. A majority request specifically to sit in the West Stand so why they suddenly wanted to get to the North Stand is a puzzle." The epicentre of the incident appeared to a 24 year old male, who was taken to hospital. The unnamed man recently failed an audition for TV's "The Apprentice". The police press officer was unable to comment as she fainted whilst questioning the victim.

    Here's a picture

    6afd090cf03690_thumb.jpg
  • edited August 2007
    "It's not funny for Scunny"

    Charlton surged to the top of the CCC after brushing aside woeful Scunthorpe yesterday. Star man was Off_it who sank 452 pints of strong continental lager before the game but came on as a late second half substitute to break the deadlock and bag all 7 of Charltons late goals, before going on to take his good lady bint out for a slaop up meal and then make sweet beautiful love to her well into the early hours.

    hic
  • GOREY CORY IN GLORY STORY

    substitute cory gibbs headed home the winner in the 90th minute. he had only been on the pitch for 2 minutes, in which time he pulled his hamstring whilst adjusting his shin pads and also had 20 stitches in a face wound caused by an untied flying boot lace.
  • [cite]Posted By: Off_it[/cite]"It's not funny for Scunny"

    Charlton surged to the top of the CCC after brushing aside woeful Scunthorpe yesterday. Star man was Off_it who sank 452 pints of strong continental lager before the game but came on as a late second half substitute to break the deadlock and bag all 7 of Charltons late goals, before going on to take his good lady bint out for a slaop up meal and then make sweet beautiful love to her well into the early hours.

    hic

    i was enjoying imagining all this happening til the last bit.
  • edited August 2007
    Honest opinion Les, should I have left off the "hic" comment then?
  • totally ruined the moment for me, mate.
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  • AL DISGRACE AS REF NOT PARD OF HEARING
    by Seth Winklebottom
    Scunthorpe Times

    What a ridiculous name for a journalist - where did you come up with that?
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