Quick bit of help wanted if possible
My Father-In-Law is currently dealing with cancer and potentially has dementia as his behaviour is eratic to say the extreme least (constantly over dosing on his medication and having no memory of his actions); Unfortunately though its not something he's taking that well and is pretty much refusing any assistance whilst Mental Health arent exactly helping either
The problem we currently have is that he's still got access to his car (my MiL tries to hide his car keys) and has had a couple of accidents (all of which he denies, either down to dementia or is just plain lying)
Is there anyway we can remove him of his Driving Licence (basically getting it revoked) without him being aware
i.e. Have checked the DVLA website and they've a form which you can complete where you can say you feel that someone isnt fit to drive yet before removing the Licence they'd want to do checks on him
(Something we know he'd refuse to have done)
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National dementia helpline might help:
0300 222 1122
Have found them an excellent support in the past
This thread has some useful information in it, with people sharing similar experiences - https://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/84431/elderly-drivers-when-should-they-stop-how-do-you-tell-them/p1
Please do something about this as soon as you possibly can. The consequences of your father-in-law driving could be catastrophic.
But the catastrophic nature of him driving is very much at the forefront of our thoughts
My wife and her family are extremely thankful no one else has been hurt so far
Think you need to consider more practical measures in the short term. Is he the only one who uses the car? If so, either sell it, or at least park it somewhere where he doesn't have access, or make a better job of hiding the keys, or put them in a key safe that he doesn't have the combination for. Don't forget, as painful as the conflict is between your father-in-law and the rest of the family, from your description it sounds like he's a danger to everyone else on the road rather that just himself. Good luck.
Unfortunately selling it isnt the best of ideas seeing its heavily financed at the moment, with the knocks he's already had they're still going to be left out of pocket
You need to get a formal diagnosis of dementia and the DVLA informed. The GP should have a talk about the implications.
The diagnosis will also affect insurance - will invalidate it if there is a diagnosis and not declared.
Some people with a dementia diagnosis can still drive safely for a time.
Good luck with this very difficult situation. Get the GP and DVLA involved.
Its still sat on his drive mind you but he's not attempted.
In the meantime remove the car/disconnect the battery etc, whatever you need to do to stop him driving.
As @MrLargo has said though, taking away the licence is only part of the resolution as it doesnt stop the person from actually driving, nor do I think it would stop my Father in Law either
It'll get to the point where she'll need mental help soon though as he threatened her with a knife when she's tried to help (police came round but still mental health refuse to say something is wrong)
Hopefully the scan results will come back confirming it is dementia as if they dont you have to question what is going on!!
Takes a huge toll on families and I hope your Mother in law gets all the support she needs.
Best of luck.
As others have said, it's not the licence as such that's the issue. If you're at the stage of hiding keys, then I'm not sure that announcing that the licence is no longer valid will have any effect. But the other issue to think about is insurance:
- sounds to me like your F-i-L is not really fit to drive, and any insurance may not be valid
- either way, what if you tell your F-i_L that you have taken him off the insurance for medical reasons, so he can no longer drive. That is the same (to all intents and purposes) as revoking his licence
You may still have to hide keys etc., because if it is dementia, you can't take risks. It's often a step-wise decline, where suddenly another piece of erratic behaviour kicks in (e.g. he goes for a drive with the car doors open. With my Mum, we caught her about to put a pizza in the oven still in its packaging).Lastly, as Rob7Lee says, do all you can to persuade your F-i-L to get medical help, talk to the GP, take tests etc for dementia. The drugs do help (or did with my Mum), but there's other help out there too.
My dad said he’d done it for his when he fell ill but he hadn’t and they sent through a penalty notice.
Explained the situation to them and they withdrew it but was a bit of a pain.
Everything follows from there. Good luck.