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For The Sake Of My Family & Well Being... Temporary (Virtual) Non-Cooperation

After giving this a ton of thought the last week, I have decided to temporarily suspending my "active" fandom until Roland is gone and that includes posting and visiting this site as much. I've decide such "non-action" is the appropriate level of protest given the nature of things and what is at stake, but also I am doing so for my actual sense of personal well-being.
I am back-burnering my activity not just until he is "rumoured" out, or "it's happening" out, but until the ink is dry on a new owner and he is holding a scarf, high. This means, for now, visiting just once every few days for 1-2 minutes just to see if he has sold, etc, with very few posts of any kind. Given I cannot attend matches from here, it is a kind of "virtual" resistance.
I cannot even imagine how much worse this all is for lifetime fans and those of you in England and Charlton who are long-time fans. I feel very bad for everyone else here, all of whom have far, farrrrrr more time with this club than me. I've never even attended a match and I am feeling a sense of darkness overhang me that is increasingly entering my daily life. And this is the big issue.
My favorite NBA team is my local Golden State Warriors, who just got dumped by the Raptors in the finals. Even with five straight NBA finals trips and three Championships, this was a brutal, emotional roller-coaster of a season. But all of us Dubs fans know that our owners care and they spend, both big and smart. The owners are.... fans. CAFC? I've never experienced anything quite like this before in any sport I've followed the last 42+ years. One good day is followed by a week of frustration as the ongoing fan experience. I have a business to run and a family to support and the hour-plus per day I lose to such disappointment from the owner is more than I can take, simply because it is making the rest of my life.... worse, not better. Football is life but my life is more than football.
Promotion... it happened in spite of our owner, and I will never forget it. Its memory and sense of exultation will have to hold me through coming months (hopefully not years.) But I cannot take this every day. I can suspend my "active" (key word) interest and resume my hour-plus-per-day obsession with this club on this board if/when he sells the club.
But I feel at this point to give Roland any quarter of support of any kind, including my emotional investment here, is actually helping him. I think Blackpool fans, who had it at least this bad, for far-longer, actually show what is necessary, here. Total, Gandhi-esque "non cooperation." Otherwise, at some level, I feel I am feeding the monster known as Roland, even tacitly, and I can no longer take it on a day-to-day basis.
Even beyond that though.... I am being hurt as a husband and business owner by sinking so much time into something the owner himself seems intent on harming and I need to step back a bit for me and my family. It is almost impossible to not have the negative effects of RD's ownership and continual harm not affect my relationship with others in a negative way. When I read about Bowyer likely leaving due to Roland's antics, and losing players would who probably take somewhat lesser wages to stay here....it affects how I run my business and how I interact with my wife and friends for hours and hours afterwards. Day after day. It should not. As a fan I owe other fans and the club, but not as much as my wife and friends.
Football should make life better, not worse and despite many amazing moments this season, I see the latter as increasingly happening more than the former right now and due to this I need to take stock of this dynamic and adjust, so that is what I have decided to do, for a while. Promotion and that final match, the whole season.... the memories are still very strong in me and I don't want to lose those memories or overly cloud them in a morass of negativity unleashed by Roland in 2019-20.
Studies of the bad effects of social media ring familiar to what I sense here; that I feel worse now after reading about the club, rather than better. Those same studies show well-being improves after cutting out Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. I am about to see if the same happens with football fandom, at least as long as this lunatic is in charge of my favorite team. In the end, CAFC should make my life.... better. And this season, it actually did! But the coming season looks dark as night I feel I need to act now for my own well-being. Or at minimum, to preserve beautiful memories.
I've got massive admiration for all those who still go to matches and make CAFC a core-part of your life and I suspect you will all win, eventually. You have my deepest respect! But I cannot seem to box-in the toxic effects of his ownership decisions from my family and business day-to-day and I have too much on-the-line to risk it anymore with Roland running things. I know you will eventually get him out and when you do, then I hope to be back. You are my fan-heroes for your resistance and your mettle exceeds mine, for sure. You are carrying the torch for me and literally thousands. You have my utmost respect, which has grown more and more in the last few weeks as I read the board and see this happening. For me, the best decision is non-cooperation on all levels.
I hope to be back when the celebration of his departure is confirmed. It's not a goodbye, because Roland will be out, eventually, probably because of all of you, the actual owners. Til then, stay strong, for you are the real club and you will eventually emerge victorious.

Comments

  • Did you choose to support Charlton or have it thrust on you like most people on here?
  • edited June 2019
    .
  •  Come back @NapaAddick. :)
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  • Napa goes, Bowyer stays.

    I think that's a fair swap : - )
    You ain't getting a bottle of wine for Christmas. 
  • edited June 2019
    Come back Napa! Next campaign, 'We want our Napa Back'! Come back to the rollercoaster of a CAFC fan.
    P.S. It's good news this morning!!!
  • edited June 2019
    Who is going to do the page updates for each year on the takeover thread if you bugger off - come on, think of other people before making a decision like this 

    Edit - it's 'happyvalley' who does that - as you were
  • I want the house analogies! Napa return!
  • I can think off 77millions reasons why ya shouldn't go away mate...😉
  • Napa, come back. Bowyer has just signed a contract extension!
  • Napa, hang around...  we need the dudes!  (AKA Animal House 1978)
  • edited June 2019
    If you don't come back, Napa ...... one day we'll turn up on your doorstep, all the way to California.

    You're signed up to Charlton now.
    Your contract says: "Charlton till I die".

    There's no escape. You're one of us now. If we've got to suffer, so must you.
    You'll even have to come to The Valley one day.


    PS: When we visit, don't forget to organise the wine tasting! :smile:



  • edited June 2019
    Losing Bowyer was the last straw and I could not bear it any more with Roland here and him gone. But signing him has softened me up, so I am gonna take a partial stance now; cut my time by 75% (still leaves 10min a day) until he sells. I still need to pull back a bit for sanity purposes. Thank you all for commenting. I don't know how so many of you stay so positive year after year!
    Good news is, it also makes me think there is a chance possible new owners might have okayed it because.... who wants to buy a club and be villains on day one?
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  • Napa goes, Bowyer stays.

    I think that's a fair swap : - )
    I can think of 77 Million reasons why it's a decent swap.
  • have a 'like' Napa for coming back.
  • 12.07am to 16.09 pm .16hrs and 2 mins away.not much of a "temporary suspension  "of fandom. Napa sounds like a bit of a prima donna to me.
  • You have a rare talent for writing posts I enjoy reading but rarely agree with!  Look forward to your return.
  • A break can be the best thing, even if it’s only for a few weeks or months. It certainly helped me. 75% may work, but I’m not sure. 
    I think if and when there’s a takeover it’ll be much better for everyone’s mental health.
    There are signs of a type of mini mass hysteria taking over sometimes, and it’ll be much healthier when the intrigue is over, and we can concentrate on football again.
    The last few weeks of the season were a joy, with most fans coming together, as it should be. We all seemed to get a real kick out of it.

    Hopefully if and when you come to the Valley for the first time they’ll let you lead the teams out in to the pitch!
  • He didn't go anywhere don't worry.
  • edited June 2019
    timken said:
    12.07am to 16.09 pm .16hrs and 2 mins away.not much of a "temporary suspension  "of fandom. Napa sounds like a bit of a prima donna to me.
    "bit"? :D
    It was losing Bowyer, which was practically announced, that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Even with him back, which eliminates that straw, I am pulling back a lot. Have to. For all the reasons listed. At least until I can not allow all this to affect me like it has. If such a thing is even possible. I've still not experienced highs and lows like English football before and I need to adjust. But it feels good to know Bowyer, and likely JJ, will be back.
  • Oggy Red said:
    Like many, I've not always agreed with your posts, Napa ..... but you've always responded with gentle humour (see how to spell the word properly?) and I've enjoyed the banter.

    Anyway, it's probably a good idea to take some respite from this crazy soap opera.

    Perhaps take up a new interest, like Maths, perhaps? :smile:


    Math  
  • timken said:
    12.07am to 16.09 pm .16hrs and 2 mins away.not much of a "temporary suspension  "of fandom. Napa sounds like a bit of a prima donna to me.
    "bit"? :D
    It was losing Bowyer, which was practically announced, that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Even with him back, which eliminates that straw, I am pulling back a lot. Have to. For all the reasons listed. At least until I can not allow all this to affect me like it has. If such a thing is even possible. I've still not experienced highs and lows like English football before and I need to adjust. But it feels good to know Bowyer, and likely JJ, will be back.
    Do what you need to do, for yourself.. remember the Charlton family are there for you at all times. 
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Roland Out Forever!