I managed to slice a big lump out of my toe over the weekend with a strimmer. So me and the Mayor were in bed last night and she asked me how my Barley Mow was. I replied, it's Batman and Robin.
Tilbury Docks (Socks) - As in "I cant find any clean Tilbury's" Lambeth Walk (Chalk) - I was playing darts in a pub and an old boy asked me to pass him the Lambeth - I didn't have a clue!!
And a modern one
Reels of Cotton (rotten) - as in "I went out last night and was reels"
cheque or dud cheque/passing a dud cheque - originated in the 1800's from London Stock Exchange metaphor-based slang, in which, according to 1870 Brewer, a kite is '...a worthless bill...' and kite-flying is '... to obtain money on bills.... as a kite flutters in the air, and is a mere toy, so these bills fly about, but are light and worthless.' A kite-dropper is a person who passes dud cheques. Cassell's more modern dictionary of slang explains that kite-flying is the practice of raising money through transfer of accounts between banks and creating a false balance, against which (dud) cheques are then cashed. The original Stock Exchange kite term likely fostered other meanings found in US/Canadian prison slang for smuggled notes, letters, etc., and which also probably relate to early English use of the word kite for a token payment (actually a guinea, which would have been an artificially low amount) given to a junior legal counsel for defending a prisoner in court who is without, or cannot afford, proper defence.
Comments
whistle (& flute) = suit
barnet (fair) = hair
elephants (truck) = drunk
threepenny (bit) = shit
pony (&trap) = crap
bad
Frog & toad = Road
Apples & pears = stairs
rubadubdub = pub
Sheffield United (excited)
Pat and Mick (sick)
Stevie (TV)
Scooby doo (Poo)
Claire Rayners (trainers) (Claires)
Bad
Any of the proper ones, they are too West 'me ol cock sparra we all loved the queen mum' Ham!
That's it, really. carry on.
Barry (White) - Shite
leo (sayer) alldayer
bad
still all mcs gooduns. stevie ??????????
Oily rag - fag
Lambeth Walk (Chalk) - I was playing darts in a pub and an old boy asked me to pass him the Lambeth - I didn't have a clue!!
And a modern one
Reels of Cotton (rotten) - as in "I went out last night and was reels"
I prefer Ollie's made up ones, here's my effort:
Technical hitch: B*tch
Aunt Sally: Valley
Jarvis Cocker: Soccer
Gareth Gates: Mates
So you can have:
Got a technical of an hangover, but I'm going down the aunt with a few Gareths to watch the old Jarvis.
You call football "soccer"?
Couldn't think of a word that rhymes with "football" ! I'll bow down to your suggestion for it Mr fussy!
LOL!
Rhythm (and blues) Shoes - Rhythms
Tom tit - Poo
Any Stewart (Grainger)? - Any danger
Plates (of meat) - Feet
As an aside can anyone explain to me why a Cheque is a Kite?
cheque or dud cheque/passing a dud cheque - originated in the 1800's from London Stock Exchange metaphor-based slang, in which, according to 1870 Brewer, a kite is '...a worthless bill...' and kite-flying is '... to obtain money on bills.... as a kite flutters in the air, and is a mere toy, so these bills fly about, but are light and worthless.' A kite-dropper is a person who passes dud cheques. Cassell's more modern dictionary of slang explains that kite-flying is the practice of raising money through transfer of accounts between banks and creating a false balance, against which (dud) cheques are then cashed. The original Stock Exchange kite term likely fostered other meanings found in US/Canadian prison slang for smuggled notes, letters, etc., and which also probably relate to early English use of the word kite for a token payment (actually a guinea, which would have been an artificially low amount) given to a junior legal counsel for defending a prisoner in court who is without, or cannot afford, proper defence.
"What's the bird (lime)?"
"Battle" (cruiser)
"Get that down your Greg(ory peck)"
Toys (are us) = Bus
Just leaving work to catch the toys home!
"Just gonna jump on the Ollie to belveeddeerrreee"
I like the shop theme:
WH Smith - Sniff
Dorophy Perkins - Gerkins
BHS - Dress
Burger King - Ring
HMV - Pee
"You wearing your tescos out tonight?"
Nah, I'm wearing me BHS.