Attention: Please take a moment to consider our terms and conditions before posting.

Life's Great Mysteries

Why can't you tickle yourself?
«13

Comments

  • You can - rub your tongue back and forward along the roof of your mouth.
  • You can - rub your tongue back and forward along the roof of your mouth.

    That makes me sneeze!
  • Stig said:

    How comes so much fluff gets collected in my tumble drier filter without my clothes totally disintegrating. I reckon in a good month I could collect enough to insulate my loft.

    Everytime you use your tumble drier, a single sock disintegrates to create all that fluff.

    You of all people should know that.

    By a style, my arse.
  • Sock monster

  • Leather shoe soles. Only a small part of a cow touches the ground, and that's the only part not made from leather. What do we make shoes from? Any wonder they are so flipping slippery.
  • Why can't you have your cake and eat it? Why would you want cake if you can't eat it?
  • Why can Charlton never beat Millwall
  • Sponsored links:


  • McBobbin said:

    Leather shoe soles. Only a small part of a cow touches the ground, and that's the only part not made from leather. What do we make shoes from? Any wonder they are so flipping slippery.

    My exact thought process when I nearly stacked it on the steps at Tooting Bec this morning
  • Croydon said:

    McBobbin said:

    Leather shoe soles. Only a small part of a cow touches the ground, and that's the only part not made from leather. What do we make shoes from? Any wonder they are so flipping slippery.

    My exact thought process when I nearly stacked it on the steps at Tooting Bec this morning
    I was wearing leather soled shoes last December when I slipped in the ice and broke my hip. Never again - all my winter shoes now have soles like Michelin tyres!!
  • bobmunro said:

    Croydon said:

    McBobbin said:

    Leather shoe soles. Only a small part of a cow touches the ground, and that's the only part not made from leather. What do we make shoes from? Any wonder they are so flipping slippery.

    My exact thought process when I nearly stacked it on the steps at Tooting Bec this morning
    I was wearing leather soled shoes last December when I slipped in the ice and broke my hip. Never again - all my winter shoes now have soles like Michelin tyres!!
    Circular, with a hole in the middle ?
    That's the ones.
  • bobmunro said:

    Croydon said:

    McBobbin said:

    Leather shoe soles. Only a small part of a cow touches the ground, and that's the only part not made from leather. What do we make shoes from? Any wonder they are so flipping slippery.

    My exact thought process when I nearly stacked it on the steps at Tooting Bec this morning
    I was wearing leather soled shoes last December when I slipped in the ice and broke my hip. Never again - all my winter shoes now have soles like Michelin tyres!!

    bobmunro said:

    Croydon said:

    McBobbin said:

    Leather shoe soles. Only a small part of a cow touches the ground, and that's the only part not made from leather. What do we make shoes from? Any wonder they are so flipping slippery.

    My exact thought process when I nearly stacked it on the steps at Tooting Bec this morning
    I was wearing leather soled shoes last December when I slipped in the ice and broke my hip. Never again - all my winter shoes now have soles like Michelin tyres!!
    Circular, with a hole in the middle ?
    bobmunro said:

    bobmunro said:

    Croydon said:

    McBobbin said:

    Leather shoe soles. Only a small part of a cow touches the ground, and that's the only part not made from leather. What do we make shoes from? Any wonder they are so flipping slippery.

    My exact thought process when I nearly stacked it on the steps at Tooting Bec this morning
    I was wearing leather soled shoes last December when I slipped in the ice and broke my hip. Never again - all my winter shoes now have soles like Michelin tyres!!
    Circular, with a hole in the middle ?
    That's the ones.
    I used to wear ones like that but i found that from just walking around I’d get tyred too easily...
  • Why can't you have your cake and eat it? Why would you want cake if you can't eat it?

    Boring answer: This actually refers to still having your cake after you've eaten it.
  • Why is it always the last place you look when you find something that had been misplaced?
  • bobmunro said:

    Why is it always the last place you look when you find something that had been misplaced?

    You'd be pretty stupid to carry on looking in other places after you've found it?
  • bobmunro said:

    Why is it always the last place you look when you find something that had been misplaced?

    Its also always at the very bottom of the pile of items that you hunting through - If you try and cheat by looking through the first few items at the top before going straight to the bottom its never there
  • Why do old people hurry on Zebra crossings and young people dawdle?
  • Sponsored links:


  • Why do old people hurry on Zebra crossings and young people dawdle?

    Because the old people are hurrying towards the bus they can see at the stop ahead

    Old people are suddenly bloody fast when they see that!!
  • Rizzo said:

    bobmunro said:

    Why is it always the last place you look when you find something that had been misplaced?

    You'd be pretty stupid to carry on looking in other places after you've found it?
    My point - masquerading as a feeble attempt at humour!
  • The lightbulb going pop a second after you turn it on... I must have turned it off earlier just in time! ;)
  • Why do old people hurry on Zebra crossings and young people dawdle?

    It's a common decency/respect for others thing. Some older folk retain some consideration for anyone other than themselves; sadly we are 2 or 3 generations into total self-absorption seasoned by furious indignation at the prospect that someone might be inconvenienced by your doing whateverthefuck you like wheneverthefuck you feel howeverthefuck you choose.

    Any self obsessed loathsomely inconsiderate arsehole who dawdles across a zebra, pelican, etc without indicating any gratitude whatsoever is fair game for the corner of the bull bars on an errant speeding 4x4, that's just natural selection and karma.
    I always thought some old people try to hurry crossing roads, in fear of getting run over.
  • What is it with the city of Lancaster? I'm here for the evening and people keep giving me funny looks. I was in a pub (The Cow?) earlier and a guy walked out giving me the absolute evils as he walked past my table. Now I'm in spoons and a bloke at the bar, looking like Yul Brynner (no joke), was staring me out like he fancied himself as some sort of barroom gunslinger. The 'waiter' - a youthful MungoJerryalike has been overly attentive whilst the bloke at the next table who's supposed to be chatting with his girlfriend keeps throwing glances at me. Is it just a strange town or am I a doppelgänger for the local gangster?
  • Stig said:

    What is it with the city of Lancaster? I'm here for the evening and people keep giving me funny looks. I was in a pub (The Cow?) earlier and a guy walked out giving me the absolute evils as he walked past my table. Now I'm in spoons and a bloke at the bar, looking like Yul Brynner (no joke), was staring me out like he fancied himself as some sort of barroom gunslinger. The 'waiter' - a youthful MungoJerryalike has been overly attentive whilst the bloke at the next table who's supposed to be chatting with his girlfriend keeps throwing glances at me. Is it just a strange town or am I a doppelgänger for the local gangster?

    Have you got a false widow sitting on your head ?

  • Why do old people hurry on Zebra crossings and young people dawdle?

    It's a common decency/respect for others thing. Some older folk retain some consideration for anyone other than themselves; sadly we are 2 or 3 generations into total self-absorption seasoned by furious indignation at the prospect that someone might be inconvenienced by your doing whateverthefuck you like wheneverthefuck you feel howeverthefuck you choose.

    Any self obsessed loathsomely inconsiderate arsehole who dawdles across a zebra, pelican, etc without indicating any gratitude whatsoever is fair game for the corner of the bull bars on an errant speeding 4x4, that's just natural selection and karma.
    You say that, but I've just come back from a holiday resort where I must have held 50 doors open for my elders and didn't get one thank you.
Sign In or Register to comment.

Roland Out!