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U18 game today

We had a surreal game today that left a bad taste in the mouth. (I co-coach an U18 team). The ref pulled out at late notice and the home team, our opponents, supplied a ref who was one of the dads and was supposed to be qualified. It didn't start well when our player was clearly tripped at least a yard inside the area and he gave a free just kick outside. Then he gave them two goals, both of which had two of the most obvious fouls you can imagine in the build up. I mean ridiculously obvious. They then scored a third just before half time which was a fair goal.

The injustice of this homer fired us up and we pulled two goals back, then one of our players fouled one of theirs - it was a bad enough foul to earn a booking but not intentional and he immediately apologised and was pushed over by the player he was apologising to. This resulted in a melee between the two sides which we managed to calm down. Except one of the opposition players then ran 100 yards and assaulted with much force one of our lads. The ref booked our player who commuted teh foul and their player who initially reacted but I asked him, what about the assault from the number 6. He said there was a lot going on and he didn't see it, although it wasn't hard to miss. It really wasn't! I said, why don't you speak to your lino then and he reluctantly did (the lino was part of their team). He was honest and told the ref what the player had done and he had to send him off. I made sure I got close enough to hear him being told and that he knew I could hear it! He really didn't want to do it.

Our lads basically said they picked up after that from talking to their players during the game that the player who was sent off was a ringer named Harry (no Harry in their squad) and another of our lads who left at the time the opposition supporters/family were leaving reported seperately he heard them saying as much not knowing he was there. They were saying he was thinking of joining them! We ended up losing the match 4-3 but the incident made the game flat.

Sometimes we have to ref when the ref pulls out, but we and to be fair other teams refs when this happen are usually fair. In fact they tend to make decisions against their own side! When you see such blatant bias it leaves a bad taste. We missed a few chances at the end and maybe I should just forget about it and see that it was still in our hands- but it angers me they can get away with it. I am very inclined to put in a complaint.

Sorry, had to get that off my chest! Anybody else had anything similar and if so what did you do?

Comments

  • edited October 2018
    Not me not football, but a friend who was a young teen involved in a competition where they got cheated. Didn't go after the bent officials but followed the winners down to pub celebration and beat the shit out of them. Met several years later. Not to be messed with.
  • Remember playing in a Sunday league game in Bromley and Orpington league about 15 years back and our striker went to take a throw, had the ball above his head and the opposition player ran, Cantona kicked him in the chest, grabbed him in a headlock and punched one of his teeth out! I was first there and as I was pulling him off our lad their other defender came from the side and punched me to the temple. There followed a 20 odd player melee.

    Ref gave no cards at all but awarded us a corner! Definitely the worst ref i ever had. The rest of the game was a write off as players flew in on each other and it was amazing no one was badly hurt, save for the fella missing a tooth.

    We played the same team the following week with a different ref and the match was abandoned after about 10 mins as they had already had 3 sent off !!
  • I reffed Sunday football for years.
    The abuse was generally continual for all of us refs.
    The best bit though was when teams had no ref at all, and the manager would half heartedly ref from one corner of the pitch giving 60 yard decisions.
    It may well be true that the standard of refereeing is poor, but the standard of abuse and threats has never been better.
    If people want a game of football, but want to have a go at the refs...the neutral refs especially, fuck em if they're threatening and abusive. Supply their own refs from one team or the other then.
    I can say one thing with absolute confidence, at Sunday league level I was a far better referee than they were players. When a player miserably scuffs a penalty yards wide, I didn't rush up to their face and scream that they ought to do something else on a Sunday morning.
    However I would get the screaming treatment over a throw in on the half way line.
  • To be honest in is a thankless task and when you get a cheat it brings it home to you that refs are not cheats and however badly they do, or don't do, they do it honestly. Sometimes you feel a bit cheated, but you know you haven't been. Mistakes are not cheating and there is always a bias you will have. Today, I know we were cheated, but the best approach is to beat them fairly and squarely in the home game. And look at the parts of our performance that could have been better. We had numerous chances to equalise and then win the game which we snatched at and that was our fault.
  • My son got a red card today, and wasn’t even on the pitch, one of our team beat 3 players, had a shot which went under the keeper into the middle of the goal, then through a hole in the net and behind the goal, the ref gave a goal,kick, despite everybody seeing it was a goal, the opposing team players said it was a goal, as did opposition coaching team. But he wouldn’t give it, there was a lot of shouting from our team and management team.My son shouted that’s bollox,(considering we are u18’s and the language is choice at times ).He walks over and shows him a straight red. Nobody could believe it, I was running the line so asked him at half time what is was for ? He said misconduct, not foul and abusive language. At the end of the game my son approached him to say he was sorry and tried to shake his hand, and the arrogant prick just ignored him and walked off. My son will get a £40 fine 3 game ban, plus his club add a additional game for any sending off.

    Yes ref’s make mistakes but when everybody tells him it was a goal and he point blank refuses to listen it leaves a nasty taste.



  • edited October 2018
    Sounds very harsh on your son. Think your club is out of order too as players pay their subs and they should hear the managers side of it before imposing an extra game. On the other end of the scale, we got a player booked a couple of games ago which was pretty harsh. It was a tired tackle which wasn't dangerous and there was no intent to foul, but it looked a bit clumsy. We had a word with the ref and the opposing manager backed us up after the game and credit to the ref, he didn't put it through, even though he was entitled to.
  • My son got a red card today, and wasn’t even on the pitch, one of our team beat 3 players, had a shot which went under the keeper into the middle of the goal, then through a hole in the net and behind the goal, the ref gave a goal,kick, despite everybody seeing it was a goal, the opposing team players said it was a goal, as did opposition coaching team. But he wouldn’t give it, there was a lot of shouting from our team and management team.My son shouted that’s bollox,(considering we are u18’s and the language is choice at times ).He walks over and shows him a straight red. Nobody could believe it, I was running the line so asked him at half time what is was for ? He said misconduct, not foul and abusive language. At the end of the game my son approached him to say he was sorry and tried to shake his hand, and the arrogant prick just ignored him and walked off. My son will get a £40 fine 3 game ban, plus his club add a additional game for any sending off.

    Yes ref’s make mistakes but when everybody tells him it was a goal and he point blank refuses to listen it leaves a nasty taste.



    Probably all heat of the moment and stuff but if even the oppo players said it was a goal they should have stood aside from the gk and let the lad get his goal (wouldn't feel the same I know but would give the kid a story to tell) would have avoided all the drama and been an FU to the ref and probably not led to your lads red card as well.
  • Yep agree some ref’s are approachable but this one was a knob. Gutted for him as we have moved to Kent Youth League to have one final season playing a decent level, he had gone off injured but has been playing so well this year.
  • My son got a red card today, and wasn’t even on the pitch, one of our team beat 3 players, had a shot which went under the keeper into the middle of the goal, then through a hole in the net and behind the goal, the ref gave a goal,kick, despite everybody seeing it was a goal, the opposing team players said it was a goal, as did opposition coaching team. But he wouldn’t give it, there was a lot of shouting from our team and management team.My son shouted that’s bollox,(considering we are u18’s and the language is choice at times ).He walks over and shows him a straight red. Nobody could believe it, I was running the line so asked him at half time what is was for ? He said misconduct, not foul and abusive language. At the end of the game my son approached him to say he was sorry and tried to shake his hand, and the arrogant prick just ignored him and walked off. My son will get a £40 fine 3 game ban, plus his club add a additional game for any sending off.

    Yes ref’s make mistakes but when everybody tells him it was a goal and he point blank refuses to listen it leaves a nasty taste.



    The ref should have checked the nets before the game and demanded the home team sort it, or no game.
  • His first words to our manager was he wanted to get away quick today.
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  • edited October 2018
    Our club are trying to get us to score the ref as 55 rather than the 30 we feel he deserves. He only got a 30 from us because he provided a whistle and flags. They say because he was a volunteer there is no sanction the league can impose anyway. Fair enough, but if it stops the cheat reffing again it will have done the job. We have never scored a ref so low, but if you were there you would say we were being generous. I said to my co-manager - I wish we had told the club to F off and formed our own team - they never back you and only throw obstacles at you!

    There is nothing so boring and pointless as a club managers meeting either!
  • We had a surreal game today that left a bad taste in the mouth. (I co-coach an U18 team). The ref pulled out at late notice and the home team, our opponents, supplied a ref who was one of the dads and was supposed to be qualified. It didn't start well when our player was clearly tripped at least a yard inside the area and he gave a free just kick outside. Then he gave them two goals, both of which had two of the most obvious fouls you can imagine in the build up. I mean ridiculously obvious. They then scored a third just before half time which was a fair goal.

    The injustice of this homer fired us up and we pulled two goals back, then one of our players fouled one of theirs - it was a bad enough foul to earn a booking but not intentional and he immediately apologised and was pushed over by the player he was apologising to. This resulted in a melee between the two sides which we managed to calm down. Except one of the opposition players then ran 100 yards and assaulted with much force one of our lads. The ref booked our player who commuted teh foul and their player who initially reacted but I asked him, what about the assault from the number 6. He said there was a lot going on and he didn't see it, although it wasn't hard to miss. It really wasn't! I said, why don't you speak to your lino then and he reluctantly did (the lino was part of their team). He was honest and told the ref what the player had done and he had to send him off. I made sure I got close enough to hear him being told and that he knew I could hear it! He really didn't want to do it.

    Our lads basically said they picked up after that from talking to their players during the game that the player who was sent off was a ringer named Harry (no Harry in their squad) and another of our lads who left at the time the opposition supporters/family were leaving reported seperately he heard them saying as much not knowing he was there. They were saying he was thinking of joining them! We ended up losing the match 4-3 but the incident made the game flat.

    Sometimes we have to ref when the ref pulls out, but we and to be fair other teams refs when this happen are usually fair. In fact they tend to make decisions against their own side! When you see such blatant bias it leaves a bad taste. We missed a few chances at the end and maybe I should just forget about it and see that it was still in our hands- but it angers me they can get away with it. I am very inclined to put in a complaint.

    Sorry, had to get that off my chest! Anybody else had anything similar and if so what did you do?

    My son is a 16 yr old ref and is in his second year. I wanted him to ref so he could see the game from the refs point of view and understand why they give the decisions they do, and therefore improve his own game.

    My understanding has greatly improved and I now see that refs make so many difficult decisions and under great pressure. The managers and coaches could do so much more to help these young refs, but in reality they are the worst.

    I hate losing. I always want to win. But not at all cost. I hate cheats more than losing. I don’t like Charlton to win by cheating. Cheats are scum and ruin the game from top to bottom. I hope you do file a report. I would not expect anything to happen as a result of it, but if everyone did it, eventually something would be done.

    Mangers and coaches of junior teams just need to grow up. It is about the kids playing football for fun and in safety. It is not about their egos and glory. The game really is more important than the result. You should want to win, but fairly.
  • edited October 2018
    My son is a qualified ref but doesn't ref so much as he plays. It is good money for a young lad or lass, but they do have to put up with some intimidation. I have seen that with my son and he deals with it well. And I think if you can deal with it, it builds character. But the behaviour is sometimes shameful. I would never treat a young ref with disrespect though and we stop our players having a go at refs. Some of the older ones are complete knobs though but they aren't cheats. But as you point out, managers, parents and players can be even bigger knobs.
  • Many years ago we knew our opponents had played a couple of ringers. Our secretary complained to the league and we got the game replayed.
    It turned out to be a promotion decider. The embarrassing thing about this was that we had also played a ringer that day. Neither manager or any of the players knew our secretary was going to complain. When the game was replayed we didn't have the stomach for it and got hammered!
  • I'd rather we just put it to bed and beat them in the return fixture. What we will do is ensure the ref puts the sending off through. Then the club can sort it out if an innocent player gets a ban and who should pay the fine. We can't appoint Columbo to expose the truth and it is only a football game :)
  • My son got a red card today, and wasn’t even on the pitch, one of our team beat 3 players, had a shot which went under the keeper into the middle of the goal, then through a hole in the net and behind the goal, the ref gave a goal,kick, despite everybody seeing it was a goal, the opposing team players said it was a goal, as did opposition coaching team. But he wouldn’t give it, there was a lot of shouting from our team and management team.My son shouted that’s bollox,(considering we are u18’s and the language is choice at times ).He walks over and shows him a straight red. Nobody could believe it, I was running the line so asked him at half time what is was for ? He said misconduct, not foul and abusive language. At the end of the game my son approached him to say he was sorry and tried to shake his hand, and the arrogant prick just ignored him and walked off. My son will get a £40 fine 3 game ban, plus his club add a additional game for any sending off.

    Yes ref’s make mistakes but when everybody tells him it was a goal and he point blank refuses to listen it leaves a nasty taste.



    Out of interest did it affect the final score? Did the other team just let your sons team score an unopposed goal?
  • Nope we went on to hammer them 8-0.The lad that came on and had the goal disallowed then proceeded to score a hatrick in 10 minutes, up to that point it was a tight game after 30 minutes and we were 1-0 up, and they had been the better side imo.
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