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I was just an innocent tourist claims Duchatelet

In a startling revelation made today on Belgian TV station VRT the businessman Roland Duchatelet claims that his purchase of Charlton Athletic was an accident and that he was only in London in 2014 for a few days as a tourist. My friends had been recommending that I visit this wonderful city but I had only a limited time said Duchatelet.

Duchatelet continued: “There is a famous barrier there called The Thames Barrier, it’s famous all over the world I think with its 525 metre span, and nearby is the equally famous burial monument to the assassinated Prime Minister Spencer Perceval in St Luke’s Church, not to mention the old Roman road from Canterbury to London running across the top of Shooters Hill. Although I went on the first day to the Thames Barrier it was slushy and raining and there was a hole in my shoe and I got wet so I went back to the station and caught a train back to the hotel where I was staying in East London”.

“The following day I did make it to St Luke’s Church and afterwards went into a local pub (The Bugle Horn I think it was called) to sample some English beer. Whilst there I met a friendly man called Tony and a few beers later (and after I told him I owned a football club in Belgium) he sold me his football club Charlton Athletic which he said was at the bottom of the hill in a valley. I didn’t know I was close to the ground but I thought this deal was OK anyway, so why not?

I went back to Belgium the following day and didn’t think anymore of it but ever since then my life has been a nightmare and I have been wrongly accused of poisoning the Cloob.

Now my life has been turned upside down and I don’t know what to do and where to go. I’m afraid of going out.
Enemy agents even turned up outside the window of my restaurant when I was having a meal!

I was just an innocent tourist in London who has subsequently been falsely accused of doing things at Charlton which are so totally inconceivable that they would make no logical sense to anybody.

In fact, I demand an apology from those who are really responsible for ruining the Charlton Athletic Football Club and top of that list is someone who hides under the pseudonym of Airman Brown”.



Comments

  • будь тихим, или я звоню ... Владимир
  • Bloody hell, it was Airman Brown all along fucking up the cloob. Wo’d a thought that huh?
  • будь тихим, или я звоню ... Владимир

    Sluit Vladimir. Ik kan dit behandelen, me krijgen Katriens-aantal
  • Meanwhile, in other news...

    Salisbury
  • Actually thought it was real....up to a certain point.

    I was still reading it as though it was the truth....even when he mentioned his shoe.

  • In a startling revelation made today on Belgian TV station VRT the businessman Roland Duchatelet claims that his purchase of Charlton Athletic was an accident and that he was only in London in 2014 for a few days as a tourist. My friends had been recommending that I visit this wonderful city but I had only a limited time said Duchatelet.

    Duchatelet continued: “There is a famous barrier there called The Thames Barrier, it’s famous all over the world I think and nearby is the equally famous burial monument to the assassinated Prime Minister Spencer Perceval in St Luke’s Church, not mention the old Roman road from Canterbury to London running across the top of Shooters Hill. Although I went on the first day to the Thames Barrier it was slushy and raining and there was a hole in my shoe and I got wet so I went back to the station and caught a train back to the hotel where I was staying in East London”.

    “The following day I did make it to St Luke’s Church and afterwards went into a local pub (The Bugle Horn I think it was called) to sample some English beer. Whilst there I met a friendly man called Tony and a few beers later (and after I told him I owned a football club in Belgium) he sold me his football club Charlton Athletic which he said was at the bottom of the hill in a valley. I didn’t know I was close to the ground but I thought this deal was OK anyway, so why not?

    I went back to Belgium the following day and didn’t think anymore of it but ever since then my life has been a nightmare and I have been wrongly accused of poisoning the Cloob.

    Now my life has been turned upside down and I don’t know what to do and where to go. I’m afraid of going out.
    Enemy agents even turned up outside the window of my restaurant when I was having a meal!

    I was just an innocent tourist in London who has subsequently been falsely accused of doing things at Charlton which are so totally inconceivable that they would make no logical sense to anybody.

    In fact, I demand an apology from those who are really responsible for ruining the Charlton Athletic Football Club and top of that list is someone who hides under the pseudonym of Airman Brown”.



    This post deserves a lot more praise than it has received so far. (Not mine but the one I'm quoting.)
  • Lovely fantasyland story
  • You could probably adapt the same storey to fit Thuram and goalkeeping
  • Brilliant! And just as believable a tale as the two Russian 'tourists' concocted when on Russian TV.
  • Full. Of. Shit.
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  • You could probably adapt the same storey to fit Thuram and goalkeeping

    I don't think that's tourism so much as going awol.
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Roland Out!