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Funniest reason for being kicked out of somewhere

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  • Got kicked out at QPR back in the 70s for being in the wrong end.
    I went round to the away end and paid to get in for a second time.
    The copper who had thrown me out the 1st time had followed me around the ground and threw me out again.
    This was when QPR had their artificial pitch.
    When I got home I heard we had lost about 5.0.
    Not a good day tbh.

    I got thrown out of that match too for shouting !
  • I remember being kicked off a B15 bus when we was about 15/16 with a group of friends, including @AFKABartram...
    Remember that AFKA?

    In Dublin a couple of weeks ago a mate is smashed and dancing in front of the DJ box in a club.

    Next thing you know the DJ has come out from behind his box and going proper bat shit crazy crazy at my mate, shouting, pointing, prodding and arms flapping around like an over-caffeined Normski. Then he is dragging a bouncer over and my bemused mate is just standing there. The DJ is now holding his nose, pulling his shirt over his nose and wafting his arms. Turns out he genuinely wanted my mate thrown out for farting in front of the DJ box. Fortunately the bouncer found it hilarious.

    To be fair to the DJ, my mate had dropped some bombs earlier and they f***ing stank

    Ha, there's only one man that could have been!
  • JohnBoyUK said:

    I remember being kicked off a B15 bus when we was about 15/16 with a group of friends, including @AFKABartram...
    Remember that AFKA?

    In Dublin a couple of weeks ago a mate is smashed and dancing in front of the DJ box in a club.

    Next thing you know the DJ has come out from behind his box and going proper bat shit crazy crazy at my mate, shouting, pointing, prodding and arms flapping around like an over-caffeined Normski. Then he is dragging a bouncer over and my bemused mate is just standing there. The DJ is now holding his nose, pulling his shirt over his nose and wafting his arms. Turns out he genuinely wanted my mate thrown out for farting in front of the DJ box. Fortunately the bouncer found it hilarious.

    To be fair to the DJ, my mate had dropped some bombs earlier and they f***ing stank

    Ha, there's only one man that could have been!
    Ahem, I may have been responsible for the bus expulsion. Not my finest moment.

    You have a very good memory!
  • When I worked in Germany, Fridays was always a piss up in Heidelberg. When we got there I would make an excuse and go off few of tequilas before we started drinking in our normal pub (Dikle acker).
    It was my favourite pub called AbSchneider otherwise known as the steelfixers bar - great tequilas and away from ex pats. That’s what I thought when I came across two other mates...pissed paddies. As I ordered the first tequila my paddy mate kissed the barmaid as she had her hands full carrying a tray of drinks. It was a laugh. And then the bar maid put the drinks down and went over to paddy and gave him a corker of a right hander. Mayhem ensued. I just propped up the bar having my first slug of the Mexican fire water as this was quite normal event. But as both the paddies were ejected from the pub, I thought I’d better leave as the atmosphere had lost its gemütlichkelt. I just thought that was a great starter to the Friday night and went off to meet up with my mates although a couple of shots down. However my return the next day for my livener was halted when on ordering my tequila I was told I was barred. I protested but it was quilty by association. Gutted barred from my favourite bar. And I never did find a better tequila in Heidelberg.

    But I was barred from many a bar in Heldelberg during my time there but never wanted to be barred from the steel fixers bar.
  • I also remember being in a pub in Melbourne with a group of 3 or 4 others. We had had plenty to drink. The barman said that it was OK for us to have another drink except for one lady whom he thought 'had had enough'. So, we walked out of the bar. The pub was a big pub on a corner of two roads with two or three entrances. We walked outside, round the corner to another entrance of the same pub. I queued for some time whereupon I made the same order with the same barman and he served me. Did he have no memory of me or the order? We then managed to get another drink after that without any problem (not that we needed any more).
  • edited May 2018
    When I was a young and impressionable first year at uni I went on the first of many big nights out with the guys from the cricket club.

    We'd been drinking for a while before we decides to head to Venue - the nightclub on campus. On the way over a third year student (who I later learned was absolutely mental - known as Dopey because of how much of the stuff he smoked) told me he knew how we could get in for free. I assumed he knew the guy who worked on the door or something so I stuck with him keen to avoid the £5 entry. Before I knew it we were in the bushes behind the smoking area and he was sliding one of the wooden fence panels up out of its concrete posts so we could all crawl underneath! About 5 of us got in that way. We quickly dispersed and thought we'd got away with it. I tried to lose Dopey but he stuck with me. Before we got to the bar the 2 of us were grabbed and chucked out. We were only identified because Dopey had decided wearing shorts on a night out in October was a great idea and they'd spotted his knees as he climbed in. I was guilty by association.

    And that's how I was banned from my unis nightclub on my second ever visit there in freshers week firat year.

    I went back the next day and they let me off with a 3 week ban.
  • Got kicked out a club at uni for, "repeatedly touching the disco ball"
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  • edited May 2018

    When I was a young and impressionable first year at uni I went on the first of many big nights out with the guys from the cricket club.

    We'd been drinking for a while before we decides to head to Venue - the nightclub on campus. On the way over a third year student (who I later learned was absolutely mental - known as Dopey because of how much of the stuff he smoked) told me he knew how we could get in for free. I assumed he knew the guy who worked on the door or something so I stuck with him keen to avoid the £5 entry. Before I knew it we were in the bushes behind the smoking area and he was sliding one of the wooden fence panels up out of its concrete posts so we could all crawl underneath! About 5 of us got in that way. We quickly dispersed and thought we'd got away with it. I tried to lose Dopey but he stuck with me. Before we got to the bar the 2 of us were grabbed and chucked out. We were only identified because Dopey had decided wearing shorts on a night out in October was a great idea and they'd spotted his knees as he climbed in. I was guilty by association.

    And that's how I was banned from my unis nightclub on my second ever visit there in freshers week firat year.

    I went back the next day and they let me off with a 3 week ban.

    Also chucked out of the queue for that place before getting in for downing my drink rather than putting it in the bin.

    And another occasion for calling the bouncer a cow (she was) when she wouldnt let my mate in because he was too drunk.
  • CAFCsayer said:

    MarkyE83 said:

    CAFCsayer said:

    Shagging in the pool in the middle of a busy nightclub in Aiya Napa... Classy lad don't you know

    Reggae Reggae? The filth in that place.

    River Reggae indeed... What a place
    @CAFCsayer completely off topic were you at Shrewsbury game Thursday? Just clocked your profile picture and think I was stood/ sat next to you if you were maybe?
    Was indeed... North upper, purple retro cafc shirt
  • edited May 2018

    When I was a young and impressionable first year at uni I went on the first of many big nights out with the guys from the cricket club.

    We'd been drinking for a while before we decides to head to Venue - the nightclub on campus. On the way over a third year student (who I later learned was absolutely mental - known as Dopey because of how much of the stuff he smoked) told me he knew how we could get in for free. I assumed he knew the guy who worked on the door or something so I stuck with him keen to avoid the £5 entry. Before I knew it we were in the bushes behind the smoking area and he was sliding one of the wooden fence panels up out of its concrete posts so we could all crawl underneath! About 5 of us got in that way. We quickly dispersed and thought we'd got away with it. I tried to lose Dopey but he stuck with me. Before we got to the bar the 2 of us were grabbed and chucked out. We were only identified because Dopey had decided wearing shorts on a night out in October was a great idea and they'd spotted his knees as he climbed in. I was guilty by association.

    And that's how I was banned from my unis nightclub on my second ever visit there in freshers week firat year.

    I went back the next day and they let me off with a 3 week ban.

    Also chucked out of the queue for that place before getting in for downing my drink ratger than putting it in the bin.

    And another occasion for calling the bouncer a cow (she was) when she wouldnt let my mate in because he was too drunk.
    i had no idea you were such a bad boy canters
    Neither did I to be honest. Drink changes ones behaviour somewhat. ;)
  • When I was a young and impressionable first year at uni I went on the first of many big nights out with the guys from the cricket club.

    We'd been drinking for a while before we decides to head to Venue - the nightclub on campus. On the way over a third year student (who I later learned was absolutely mental - known as Dopey because of how much of the stuff he smoked) told me he knew how we could get in for free. I assumed he knew the guy who worked on the door or something so I stuck with him keen to avoid the £5 entry. Before I knew it we were in the bushes behind the smoking area and he was sliding one of the wooden fence panels up out of its concrete posts so we could all crawl underneath! About 5 of us got in that way. We quickly dispersed and thought we'd got away with it. I tried to lose Dopey but he stuck with me. Before we got to the bar the 2 of us were grabbed and chucked out. We were only identified because Dopey had decided wearing shorts on a night out in October was a great idea and they'd spotted his knees as he climbed in. I was guilty by association.

    And that's how I was banned from my unis nightclub on my second ever visit there in freshers week firat year.

    I went back the next day and they let me off with a 3 week ban.

    Also chucked out of the queue for that place before getting in for downing my drink rather than putting it in the bin.

    And another occasion for calling the bouncer a cow (she was) when she wouldnt let my mate in because he was too drunk.
    If it's the main bouncer who has worked there for years, she was a cow, I agree.

    I managed to not get chucked out of the Venue once somehow when an absolutely paraletic mate sat on the sofas (when it had them) and threw up in his own lap - managed to convince the bouncers someone had walked over, threw up on him and walked off.
  • Being rowdy and pouring beer over someone's head in the Munich beer fest was barred from the Hofbrauhaus tent by one of the bouncers. And a mate's girlfriend head cut open from the smashed stein. Mate took her off to the hospital for some stitches and both returned. All very messy but great fun. I was told I could come back the following day. But I just went out through one revolving doors and took off my shirt then went back in through another set of revolving door back to where we were all sitting and continued drinking. It's magic being so pissed that no one can see you. I don't know how I survived the day/night but slept in the grounds of the hospital that night and returned to the fest the following day.
  • Used to go to the Moon and Sixpence every Friday night when I was 17. One Friday, no idea why, the bouncer said i couldn't go in as I didn't have any ID, but my mates had gone in slightly before me so I asked the bouncer nicely if I could go in and let them know I couldn't get in and had to leave. He agreed. So i went in. I then thought, I might as well have a drink whilst here as he didn't seem to mind me coming in to find them (I had driven so I only bought an orange juice) and as i was sipping it by the pool table with my friends dancing around with their irn bru wkd's the bouncer came in and said 'i told you that you couldn't come in' in front of all of my friends and no doubt boys i would rather hadn't seen me get marched out. I was back in there the following Friday. Same bouncer on the door, he didn't bat an eyelid.
  • Got thrown out at Old Trafford in the old days of terraces.Due to crowd movement some of us kept ending up on the walkway the police must of came down four or five times saying no standing on the yellow markings on the floor.Next time a couple of policemen came down and said next time you step on these markings you will be moved and stupid me said “what you going to arrest us for standing on yellow paint” Five minutes later I was standing outside Old Trafford!
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  • I was asked to leave a VIP section of a club for repeatedly calling Joe Cole "Ashley" when speaking at him rather loudly

    Easy mistake to make.
  • Mate of mine got thrown out of Browns once for persintantly trying to stick one of his thumbs up a strippers bum bum.

    Mate of yours.
    Yeah right
    Own up it was you
  • holyjo said:

    I got thrown out of the Phoenix pub at Oxford Circus for firing a replica gun ( A real gun firing blanks) in the toilet . Its a long story but involved a gay fella there trying to accost me the previous week........ my mate got three months in a YOI for bringing the gun into the pub in the first place. It seems incredible now , but I was only 17 when it happened

    Ladies & Gentleman, we have a winner!
  • Greenie said:

    When I was a skinny gangly kid weighing about 7 stone, I was kicked out the Cupboard End when we played Plymouth about '79.
    Someone swore at the ref, I laughed and old black beard the copper, decided it was me and frog marched me to the holding cell under the old main stand, the spiteful fucker even gave me a couple of digs to get me on my way, and then threw me in the cell that contained only Plymouth.......then after the game, they chucked me out. I think we last as well?

    Probably mate, it's Charlton!
  • Mate of mine got thrown out of Browns once for persintantly trying to stick one of his thumbs up a strippers bum bum.

    Browns indeed
  • Got kicked out once for leaning over and pouring my own beer as they were taking fooking ages! Bouncer asked if i thought i was clever so i said i must have been as i was the only one who thought to do it!!

    Did that years ago in Malia. Got my mates to hang me over the bar while I poured it straight into my mouth. Weirdly just got asked to stop doing it. Such tolerant people the Greeks.

    Been kicked out of a pub in Soho for just dropping a pint glass when trashed and once for getting punched in Dartford through no fault of my own.
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